Living In the Darkness
by lulupetts
Summary: Emily have a happy family, a perfect and happy life, with her husband, and their little girl, but when life forces her to experience the bitter darkness, she finds her place in the darkness, and she accepts her cruel destiny . Until when? Despite the ship, much more Emily, than Spencer. But he will be a safe port for her.
1. Chapter 1

**This story begins in the fifth season, in the episode where JJ and Emily is talking about Mick Rawson, episode 21. In this story, Doyle never existed. Emily never left the BAU, until the events of this story. The calendar will not be the same as the real one, so that this episode in this fanfic, it was a year before of the real Criminal Minds. If you don't like darkness, you should read just the first chapter; and then quit the story; because it will get really, really dark. "Enjoy" your reading.**

* * *

May, 2009:

Girls night, after BAU:

Emily: "JJ, that's not the point!"

JJ: "Well, are you going to call him?"

Emily: "Maybe…"

JJ: [groans/while laughing]: Emily!

Emily: "Mick Rawson is an arrogant, uh… oversexed, egotistical..."

JJ finishes the sentence for her: "…Hot, British, dude, with a sexy accent, badge and gun… Just your type…"

JJ: "Alright, Emily, you know what? I don't even get you sometimes…"

Emily: "It wouldn't go anywhere…"

JJ: "You don't know that…"

Emily: "I know our *work* schedules…"

JJ: "Okay, you know what: Will and I make it work.

Emily: "Maybe I should call him…"

* * *

A few days later, Emily got home early than usual, about 8 pm so she decided to finally return all the messages that Mick Rawson had left for her and he quickly answered the phone:

"Wow, I was not expecting for that miracle anymore, now, I believe in GOD!"

He felt Emily's smile on the other side of the line. He continued saying:

"It's serious, Em; or maybe I am just dreaming or having some kind of illusion… could you say something, please…"

"Oh, Mick, you are a mime…"

"Is this a compliment? Or… well… coming from you… sure it is…"

* * *

October, 2009

To summarize this talk, the passion between them was almost instantaneous, and that passion quickly turned into love, and in five months they were going to live together; Emily continued as a BAU profiler, and she lived in the same apartment as Mick as he moved in with her, he resigned from the BAU, and he got a job as private detective. They were very happy living together.

* * *

March, 2010

After another five months they were living together, Emily had some news for him:

"Hey, Em, wow, you look even more gorgeous, and hmmmm that smell! What are you cooking? What's the occasion?"

Emily was very beautiful, she was wearing a pretty and lovely red flowered dress, and she had cooked a very special dinner for them. Mick asked those questions hugging her by the waist and kissing her on the mouth; she broke the kiss to answer his questions:

"Let's have dinner first, then I tell you, I am starving…"

"You? Starving? You almost don't eat… That's strange…"

"Well, let's say that I need to eat now…"

After the lovely dinner, they went to the living room:

"I have a present for you… just sit here and wait, then I'm going to get it in the bedroom…"

"Okay, but, dear, you are getting me really curious here…don't take too long…"

"Just a second dear…" Emily yelled from upstairs.

She came back to the living room, with a lovely little white box, with a beautiful white bow in it, she handed the box to him. As she was standing; he got up from the sofa too, and took the box on his hands, saying:

"Em, it is not even my birthday, honey…"

She answered, in a very adorable way:

"Well sometimes the present just come to us, without us asking for it…"

As she finished saying this last sentence; he had already opened the box; he was totally speechless; as he looked at her; his eyes were completely tearful; he was extremely thrilled. He put the box on the coffee table and hugged her:

"I'm the happiest man in the world!"

The "present" was a baby slipper which was white and made of wool, with a little card that said: _Dad, I still do not know you yet, but I already love you, see you in a few months._

They were hugged, stuck like glue, they were very happy; a happiness that the universe seemed little for them. Emily was two months pregnant.

* * *

May, 2010

Two months later:

Emily and Mick had bought a beautiful and lovely house; it was not a mansion, but very, really comfortable, with a garden and a backyard with some trees and flowers. And in that beautiful Saturday afternoon, they were getting married, in a small ceremony, just for BAU friends and family.

Emily was wearing a discreet white dress, for a four months pregnant belly, very beautiful, and a pretty wreath of wild flowers in the head; Mick was in a tuxedo very beautiful and suitable for the occasion, they were standing, facing each other, holding hands, a judge was finishing the ceremony:

"... and love is a decision, love is dedication, and may God bless this couple, today and forever; know that this alliance that you two just put on each other fingers has meaning and it symbolizes infinite union, we wish that this couple can live together happily forever; increasingly united to be able to face all the obstacles that life may can bring, few people in this life have the happiness to find its soul mate, and you two are blessed to achieve it. So, just be happy, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do you part."

Emily and Mick kissed each other lips whispering at each other mouths, at the same time:

"I love you…"

* * *

In the coming months, Emily and Mick spent the free time, devoting themselves to one another, to the baby that was growing inside her, and the girl's room decor. They already knew it was a baby girl; Mick made a point to go to every meeting with the doctor with Emily.

* * *

October, 2010

Five months later, in the middle of the night:

"Ouch, Mick, Mick, honey… please, wake up, honey…"

"What… what, Emily?"

Mick woke up, turning on the lamp beside him, and sitting on the bed, Emily was still lying.

"What's wrong, Emily?"

"Huf, huf, Huf…(her breathing was getting difficult)… I don't know… Mick, I'm in pain…Oh, my God, I think I'm wet…"

Mick quickly put his hand on the sheets, in bed, and they were soaked.

"Oh, my God, Emily, dear, calm down, I'm going to take you to the hospital; stay calm please, dear."

As he spoke, he dressed the sweatshirt and jeans; grabbed the baby bag, and placed on his shoulder, and grabbed the car keys, and carried Emily with both hands, and she was moaning incessantly, and breathing with difficulty.

He put her lying in the back seat of the car, and quickly started driving to the hospital, very carefully, he made a call to her doctor, saying she was going into labor, and they were going to the hospital. The doctor met them there.

Emily and Mick were now in the operating room, and she was in labor. Emily, at that time, had changed all the glamorous clothes she had, for a hospital gown, all shoes and sandals, for a bare feet, all the different hairstyles that she liked to do, for tousled and messy hair, all the expensive and imported perfumes, by drops of sweat that flowed throughout every pore of her face (such was the strength she was doing), all the makeup she liked to wear gave way, now for the most diverse facial expressions of effort, the jewelry shaped clock gave rise to a little bracelet made of plastic, that would identify her to her daughter, and, even then she was feeling pretty beautiful for the most important date of her life: it was when the doctor brought her little baby girl, crying to meet Emily, and Emily thought: 'Wow! I thought I knew what love was. Now I know'. Emily and Mick looked at each other and smiled, crying happy tears at the same time. Then, after two or three days, they were at home, as the most happiest family in the entire world.

* * *

October 2011

One year later:

"Mick, love, are you sure you will have enough time to fill all these balloons for the party?"

"Mah pally!" (My party!) Alyssa Rawson, stammered.

"Yeah! Your party, sweetie!"

Emily said, while she was finishing to decorate the table that Mick had placed in the backyard for the birthday party, one year old, for Alyssa; then she lowered to talk to her daughter, that, recently had learned to walk:

"Are you happy, baby?"

"Mi hapy mommy!" (I'm happy, Mommy!)

"So tell Mommy, how old my little beautiful princess is going to be today?"

Alyssa quickly pointed 'one' lifting the index finger of her right hand. Emily hugged her, smiling, very happy.

"Ohhhhhh, look if she is not the most smart and beautiful baby in the entire world!"

Facing her daughter again, after the hug, she said:

"I love you…"

"ovyutoo!" (I love you too!)

This cute scene was happening under the watchful and cheerful eyes of Mick, as he filled the balloons for the party. Then, Emily said to the girl:

"What do you say to Daddy, too?"

The girl ran to her father and said to him:

"iovu,da'dy…" (I love you, Daddy.)

"I love you too, my little princess…"

Mick and Emily had organized a small birthday party for one year, to Alyssa, just for the BAU friends, and family.

"_Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday Dear Alyssa! Happy Birthday to You!_"

Pose for the main photo: Alyssa in the middle; Emily kissing a girl's cheek, and Mick kissing the other side, and then the other photos with the guests.

After a little while, Emily was talking to JJ:

"…And to think you did not want to call him, huh!"

"Yeah, JJ, you are right, but it was because I was completely sure in my heart he was the one, since the first time I saw him; and I knew if I called him, it would be real…"

"I'm glad you did not postpone the happiness you so much deserve…"

"Yeah, I know, I could not wish anything more in my life; I feel so complete and happy that sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode… Mick is my soul mate, we complete each other perfectly, and Alyssa... wow...she is the best thing I could ever dreamed of…"

After the party, late night; Emily was at Alyssa's bedroom, just supporting her crossed arms in the crib; just watching her daughter sleeping. Mick noticed she was taking too long to come back to their bedroom, so he went there to seek her:

"Hey, Em, is she already sleeping?"

Emily just raised her head to meet his eyes:

"Yeah, but I cannot help, I love her so much, I'm just watching her to sleep…"

"Yeah, I know how you feel, I feel the same about her, and you…"

He was massaging her on the shoulder, looking at his daughter in the crib.

After a little while, he said:

"She is sleeping so peacefully, that, I think we could continue the party in our bedroom, because I kind of feel that the party is not over yet…"

She got up from the chair, and hugged him, smiling and saying:

"What do you mean?"

"Well… we can continue a party for adults now…"

She smiled and kissed him on the mouth. As the kiss started to get really hot, she said without breaking the kiss:

"Hmmm, better we go to our room now… better not to do this in front of our innocent baby…"

They were leaving the bedroom when Emily remembered one thing; she took the baby alarm, and they left Alyssa's bedroom.

The sex between Emily and Mick was something that transcended the flesh; it was a true meeting of souls, it was as if they were one body; bodies stuck together, moving at the same pace, always; total complicity; total surrender, from beginning to end, and they were able to spend hours and hours with their bodies together, until the climax of the passion, until they fell asleep in the arms of one another. After they made love, they hugged under the blanket and he said to her:

"I want to be with you forever, Em… for the rest of my life…"

She smiled and said:

"…And I want to be with you for the rest of my life too, Mick… it is a cliché to say, but it is how I really feel and what I really want…"

They kissed passionately, and slept.

* * *

October, 2012 – One year later

Alyssa's two years old birthday party:

It was another beautiful party for the princess of the family, Alyssa Rawson, with all the family and friends of the BAU. The party was very pretty, and Emily and Mick ended the night making love passionately, as always.

* * *

Few days after the party:

Every second, every minute, every day, every week, every month, every year they spent together, they loved each other more and more, along with the little Alyssa, who now ran through the house, and she could speak practically everything. Emily was travelling with BAU, for a case, and she had spent three days out; it was Friday night; about ten PM, and she was about to get home. Mick and Alyssa were at the TV room, waiting for Emily:

"Daddy, wherismommy?" (Where is Mommy?)

"She is working, sweetie, Daddy already told you…"

"Whenshe'llcomehomi?" (When she will come home?)

"Maybe tonight, honey… I miss her so much too, dear…"

"Imisshertoo,daddy…" (I miss her too, Daddy)

Mick was lying on the sofa with Alyssa lying upon him.

At the same time, in the BAU plane. The team was coming back home after a difficult case; they were almost about to land. Emily was a little thoughtful, so Morgan came to talk to her:

"So, a penny for your thoughts…"

She smiled, but an empty smile, and said:

"This case, I just don't understand how a person who has a small kid can do this kind of thing…"

The case was about a mother that had killed three men, before killing her own husband and her lover; she had a five year old girl, Emily kept saying:

"…I mean, all this darkness we have to face in this job… does not have the impact over me, because I know I have someone to live for… I have someone to come back home, my daughter, Alyssa is everything to me, she means the world to me, I cannot imagine living without her, and this mother will spend the rest of her life in prison, she never ever considered her child… it's sad."

"…She is a classical narcissist, Emily… she cannot think about anyone but herself…"

"I cannot even imagine have to live without Alyssa… I think I would die…"

She smiled because in her mind, this never would happen.

* * *

December, 2012

Two months later, Wednesday evening:

BAU team had just arrived from another case; JJ, Penelope and Rossi had already left; Emily and Derek were finishing reports in their desks, and Hotch was in his office. Suddenly, Emily's cell phone rang; it was Mick; she answered the phone:

"Hey, baby, I'm just finishing some reports…"

Mick cut her off:

"Emily, you have to come home…"

"Ah... baby… just a little more time and I'm done here…"

"Emily, you did not understand, you have to come now…"

Emily frowned, she got up from her chair, she almost fell, tripping on the carpet; and she felt a grip in the heart, like a knife, stealing all the air of her heart, under the eyes of Morgan. She said to him:

"Mick, your voice, is there something wrong? Alyssa… Is she okay? Please, Mick, say something…"

"Emily, you have to come now… and alone…"

Mick's voice was completely different, he was apprehensive, with a trembling voice; he did not seem the same person. Of course, Emily, profiler, had noticed everything.

"Mick, please, talk to me straight…" She said while she put her purse on her shoulders, after taking the car keys from inside it, and headed toward the elevator.

"Emily just come home, now, and alone…"

And the line went dead after that. Emily began to push the elevator button without stopping; of course, this would not help. It was the most weird scene to Derek, he approach her and said:

"Emily, is everything okay? You are pale like paper…"

"Yeah, I… I don't know… Mick just called me asking me to go home…"

"What's the problem, then?"

"Derek, he was acting strange… like he is not himself and I … I instantly got this feeling that I cannot breathe…"

She kept pushing the elevator button without stopping, insistently.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No… I… thank you…I need to go alone… Anything I call you… but I have to go alone…"

The elevator opened the door, and she entered, and Derek had time to say:

"Emily, you look like frozen…"

"I need to go alone, Derek…" She said while the elevator was closing the door.

Derek went back to work; but that scene just got stuck in his mind, he was not able even to focus on his papers reports anymore; after about half an hour that she had left, he decided to go at her place just to make sure everything was okay.

Emily was arriving home, she was so desperate to see her daughter and Mick that she parked the car on the street and she left her purse and gun in her car. She entered the house, she closed the door, but not locked; and there was no one at the living room, as much she was thinking the whole situation strange, she never imagined the horror she would find; she asked:

"Mick, Alyssa… I'm home…"

"We are here..." She listening his voice coming from the TV room.

Slowly, with the legs trembling, she did not know the reason her body was behaving that way, she went to the TV room; once there, she saw a horrific scene; Mick was handcuffed with both hands behind his back and his legs were tied with tape the whole length and it seemed that he had been spanked a lot with many kicks; and a very strong hooded man, was holding a gun pointed to Alyssa's head. Now it was clear that the man had forced Mick call her; of course Mick did not want to bring Emily to this situation, but, obviously, he did not have any choice. As the two years old girl was crying a lot; the man had placed a tape on her mouth. Alyssa was tied on her baby seat chair; as she saw Emily, she tried to free her little arms, and Emily looking at her, trying to calm her:

"Baby, mommy is here, stay calm, baby…"

Mick murmured to her:

"I'm sorry…"

Emily listened the man laughing. She said to him:

"What do you want? Please… whatever you want… I go with you… you can take me, but please… leave them alone….Don't hurt my baby, please…"

With the gun on Alyssa's head, almost pushing her head, he said to Emily:

"How does it feel, bitch! How does it feel to see your most important and strong bond being broken?"

"Please don't, please… you don't need to hurt her… she is just a baby, please…"

Emily was begging and crying and trembling, but she was trying to remain calm:

"We can go now, just me and you, please, leave them alone, don't hurt my baby…"

"Shut up, you bitch! We are not going anywhere! The show has not begun yet…"

Emily started to cry hard now: "Please… please…don't…"

Until now, she had no idea who was that person and what he wanted; but now he took off the hood, and she could see, she had killed his twin brother some weeks ago, he was the unsub of the case; and it was her that had to shoot the bad guy. But his twin did not see the things simple that way. When Emily saw the guy, her reaction was fell in total despair, she put both hands on her mouth, he had blood in his eyes and the evil could be seen inside his eyes that came from the soul, or lack of a soul:

"Oh, my God! Please… don't hurt my baby, don't hurt him, that was all my fault, they don't have to pay for this, they don't have to pay for something that I did…"

"I don't want you, you bitch! I want you to suffer like I had to suffer; I want you to see what YOU made me see… I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR BOND in front of you like you did to me…"

"No, please, you don't have to do this… You can just go away… I'm not going to tell anyone…" She was crying, begging.

Mick was on the floor, handcuffed behind, and all his legs were tied up like a mummy. Every time he tried to move, he got a kick by the bad guy.

Mick was already spilling blood through his mouth, because the guy only kicked him in the stomach. Alyssa's eyes were purple and swollen from crying, and she was getting weak, short of breath, with that huge bandage on her mouth. Emily was trying to approach her daughter but the guy pointed the gun to Alyssa's head and said to Emily:

"I want you to stay next to that door, NOW!"

He shocked the gun that was on Alyssa's head so Emily obeyed him immediately.

Emily looked at her daughter and said:

"Don't be afraid, dear, Mommy is here with you, everything is going to be okay, I love you…"

"Right bitch you had a chance to say these last beautiful words to her to your most important bond and I could not say these same things to my brother…"

Emily, then, noticed he was about to kill Alyssa and Mick right there in front of her, she, then, jumped the sofa, but before she could jump over him, to try to stop him; he shoot Alyssa on the head just one single time, but enough for her head fall to the side, lifeless. Emily, then, came to her daughter:

"NOOOOOOOO ! Baby, wake up, please… Alyssa, wake up, baby!" She was trembling trying to get her daughter out of the baby chair.

While Emily was begging for the life of her daughter; the guy killed Mick, shooting him, on the floor, three times; in a matter of seconds, when he was turning around to kill Emily, right before he could shoot Emily, he was killed by someone that was next to the door, it was Morgan. He had gone to check on them and he heard the shots from outside.

Realizing that Alyssa and Mick were maybe dead, Emily, despairingly, begged to Morgan, with the dead bloody body of her daughter in her arms; she was kneed on floor, holding Alyssa's dead body:

"Nooo… Derek, Nooooo, please… don't… let him kill me, let him kill me, please…"

Morgan gaped without reaction to such cowardice. Morgan bent down to see if the killer was really dead, and, then, he checked on Mick, both were really dead, without jugular pulse. Seeing Morgan doing this; Emily with the dead body of her daughter on her arms, on the floor; she begged to him, in tears:

"Derek, please, kill me, kill me, Derek…please, I cannot live anymore…I cannot live without my family, I cannot live without my daughter!"

Morgan lowered in front of her, he was crying now too. Emily faced him and begged, she was not thinking straight right now:

"Derek, please, call the ambulance, please Derek, call 911, call the paramedics, please… they have to save my baby…"

Derek was now on knee in front of her, crying to see her friend that way, crying to see the whole situation, and an entire family destroyed; and Emily crying over the dead body in her arms; he knew Alyssa was dead, but, even so, he called 911. In a few minutes, the rescue team was there; they checked on the killer and Mick; they were dead and they took the dead bodies of them; and they took Alyssa to inside the ambulance, outside the house; Emily in despair around all the time; they knew the girl was dead, but, even so, they tried to reanimate her; of course, without any success; so a doctor came out of the ambulance and just looked at Emily's face, she swallowed, and the anguish took hold of her, she could not breathe. Derek tried to hug her, holding her so she would not fall, but rather than returning the hug, she was giving small punches on him on the chest, with both hands closed; in fact she had no strength anymore, she cried to him:

"Why did you not let him kill me? Why? You should have let him kill me! I have no reason to live anymore..."

She was talking, screaming, crying and punching Derek in the chest with both hands. After a little while, he hugged her, and she was crying hopelessly on his chest.

* * *

**So, now the darkness began in Emily's life. Will she manage to survive this? … And how? Please Review and let me know if you want this to continue. Thank you!**

* * *

I got a little inspiration for Emily's labor from this video on you tube:

watch?v=iPVUfNchTIw


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you, guys, for the nice comments. This really makes me happy. I want to share with all of you that this is just the second chapter of this story, and I'm already suffering a lot; I put myself all the time in Emily's shoes and I can feel her pain; this is tough for me. But I will continue with this; and I have to say: Emily's suffering has just begun. For those who don't know me yet, English is not my first language, so sorry for all the errors.**

**I own nothing**

* * *

Two days after losing her two years old daughter; and her soul mate in her husband; Emily was now in front of the dead body of those two people who gave all the meaning to her life. She was at their funeral; the coffins were closed because Alyssa had taken a bullet in the head, and Mick, in the head and the body, so that they were kind of deformed. So the coffins were sealed.

After cry for two whole days and two whole nights, Emily was in pieces, like a human rag, feeling a big pain in body and soul, she had no hope anymore, it could be said that she was more dead than her daughter and her husband. She wanted to join them in the coffin, but she was so empty and numb right now, that she cannot feel anything, she cannot even move to kill herself. She just wanted to stop breathing and join her family.

She wanted to kill herself but she thought it would be an easy way out, and she felt that she deserved to suffer; because she was blaming herself for the death of her family.

These two days were decisive and fatal to trace Emily's fate, because what had happened to her family would, permanently, ruin all her emotional balance, including bordering the psychiatric pathologies. The death of Alyssa, more than anything, was being a kind of violent extraction of a vital Emily's part; it was as if it had been ripping a vital organ of Emily's body. It was very clear that Emily would never pass through the stages of the grief, the famous five stages of the grief, she jumped from heaven to hell, permanently, and there, she would remain, due to the way of how everything had happened, there was no recover for that in her mind, she knew that the grief, the fault, the anxiety, and the fear would accompany her for life from now on.

JJ, Hotch, Rossi, Garcia, Morgan, Reid, Emily's parents; Mick's parents, some distant relatives and friends were all around, and everybody was realizing that Emily was no longer the same person, of course, she could not be after what had happened, she was the pain in the form of a person, but the profilers around now already feared that it could quickly reach the brink of madness. Still, acceptable and understandable.

Ambassador Elisabeth Prentiss was also very sad at the loss of her only granddaughter, as well as Emily's father; she approached Emily and, with her hand on Emily's backs, she said:

"Em, you are strong, you will get through this... We'll get through this!"

What the fuck! Emily thought. I'm not strong; shit! She wanted to scream, and even if she was strong, there would be no force in the entire world that she could use to get over this, but Emily was feeling both a completely nothing, she did not even respond to her mother, she just remained quiet, so alive as the concrete pillar that was holding the coffin of her daughter.

Everyone wanted to say some words of comfort to Emily; but she was avoiding company, she wanted to alone with herself in her lost world. Rossi approach her now and said:

"I am so sorry, Emily, I know from personal experience when… a piece of you is taken away… you can never recover again… I'm not going to lie to you… it is a pain that can never go away… but I will be here for you, Emily… all of us are here for you… we will do whatever you need…"

Emily was in a complete daze; she could not talk and she was barely listening what those people were saying to her. Now, it was time Garcia said something to her:

"Oh, Emily, I cannot express how sorry I am, she was such a sweet and adorable girl, and Mick was so wonderful prince charming of a husband, I wish I could do something, I am always here for you my dear friend, whatever you need… JJ and I will always be your best gal buddies… You can count on us forever, for everything…"

Then it was Hotch:

"Emily, you know how expert in tragedies I am... I know Emily you feel helpless and you blame yourself, but you should not; there was nothing you could have done, I am so sorry, please, if there is anything I can do for you, please, just ask, you need extra time off for this… take as long as you need…"

Then it was JJ, big blue eyes in tears:

Emily, I am totally lost at words… I just know how precious a baby of ours is, and to have this taken away so unfairly, and so senseless, is hard to comprehend, but I want you to know that I am here for you anytime you need… please, call me and I can come over to see you, anytime... Every time you need big hug I am here… I am very sorry. Emily…"

Then it was Reid:

Spencer Reid just approached Emily, she was all the time next to the Alyssa's coffin; Emily noticed a shadow next to her and for the first time, she turned to see who it was; it was Reid; he just looked at Emily's face and he was crying too, very much, after all, he had went through this recently, with Maeve's death; Emily could see the pain in his eyes too. Somehow, she identified herself with him, and she finally had an impetus of life: she just hugged Spencer, so very tight, and they cried very hard now; making everyone in the place cry too, by that scene. No words were necessary, they knew exactly what the other was feeling.

Derek was standing outside the building, where the funerals was being held, he was sitting on the steps of the stairs, all the time, crying and trying to find, in his mind, some reason, some explanation, for everything that had happened. His relationship with God was not good already, and facing this cruelty, all these matters of belief surfaced for him, he was having a very difficult time, because he had to, practically, not just watch the whole scene, but participating! Rossi noticed Morgan was the whole time outside the building and he went to talk to him:

"You know, there is no way to measure Emily's pain, and ours, but our pain could be even bigger if we had lost Emily too, if you had not arrived on time…"

These words had no effect on Morgan, then, he took a deep breath, and said:

"Rossi… we see dead bodies all the time in our job… but when I saw Emily's beautiful adorable angelic baby… dead… her body just… lifeless, and her husband's lifeless body… it make things feel so personal… and to see Emily …. Rossi… she had to watch the whole scene…. Can you imagine that? …. That son of a bitch killing her baby? This is just so surreal … and then, seeing her begging me… to kill her… and asking me why I did not let that bastard kill her too.., I felt like the bullet was stuck in my heart Rossi Man… If I felt this way… that way poor Emily is feeling right now, it is zillion times more, because I was feeling a lot of pain, so I was imagining how Emily feels now, and the look on her face was just as lifeless as those bodies…"

Rossi put the hand on Morgan's shoulders, making Morgan look at him, and said:

"YOU saved her life! This is a big deal…"

Morgan denied in gestures and said:

"….how would you feel if she had cursed you for this, and have never forgiven you for this…"

They all were moving now into the grave, for the funeral of Mick, and Alyssa, in front of the grave of Mick; shortly before burying him, the priest said a few words; Emily approached the coffin and said tearfully:

"Mick, baby, you will forever be my only love, please, wherever you are going to, take care of our baby; take care of our little princess…"

While they were burying Mick's coffin, Emily was crying nonstop; Morgan was holding her so she would not fall into the hole, over the coffin.

After a while, they were in front of Alyssa's grave, the priest said a few nice words too. Among the words, he said: "Dear Lord, here's an angel, disappearing from this world like a boat on the horizon of the sea, and she will reappear in your arms. There are no better hands to be until she can meet her mother again; it is a matter of time, for this family can be together again."

And then came the moment of Emily's last words to her little baby Alyssa, crying hard, she managed to say:

"Baby, Mommy loves you so much, you were the best thing to happen to me in my life, I love you, and I'll always love you, no matter what, and I apologize that I have failed with you; baby."

And Alyssa's coffin was being buried now into the hole; Emily knew now that even though she was the queen of the compartmentalization; she could not do anything that could relieve her pain now, pain in the body, pain in the soul, as much the coffin was being buried she was crying more and more, and only increasing pain, she knew it was going to be a very long distance, between death and life, between her daughter and her, but she wanted to reach that distance. It was a searing pain; devastating; mutilating her soul, every bit of land that was being put over the coffin of her little daughter she was getting out of the air, she started to stop breathing until she collapse.

* * *

Emily had dedicated the next seven days to cry, cry and cry, in the fetal position on Morgan's couch. He had offered his place for Emily to stay during this first week; it would be very difficult for her to be alone at her house, where she had seen the meanings of her life being murdered in front of her. Meanwhile, JJ and Garcia went to her place to collect the toys and Alyssa's belongings and put everything in her bedroom and lock the door. And they also took Mick's belongings; to try to help Emily somehow.

Her mother, the Ambassador, had also offered her place to Emily stay, or some house of the family, at beach or mountains, the family had lots of house, but Emily did not want to, because she knew her mother would try to use psychology to tell her how strong she was, and she'd get over it soon, but she did not want no overcome; she wanted to die. And when she decided that she wanted to die, to be with her family again, she decided to leave Morgan's place and go back to her house. So, that same night, Derek got home from BAU; he went to speak to her; she was like a rag, on the sofa, she had lost a lot of weight already because she was not eating properly, with deep dark circles, she sat down (because she was lying when he arrived), and said to Morgan:

"Derek, I thank what you have done for me, but I want to go home now…"

"Emily, you cannot be alone right now, let me be there for you, I want to help you. Stay as long as you want, please… talk to me… if you do not want to talk to me, then, use me as a punching bag… if that makes you feel better… anything, Emily, I want to do anything for you…"

"So, just take me home…" It was more a whisper.

"Are you sure?" Morgan still tried.

"Yes…" She answered.

* * *

Once home, Morgan gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead, and he tried to enter the house, but she did not allow, she said:

"I need to be alone right now, Derek, please…"

"….Anything you call me, Emily, anything, anytime…"

"Thank you…"

And she closed the door of her house behind her. She turned around as if she had to face the worst nightmare of her life. She had a panoramic vision inside the house, the silence started to scream on her ears, the first thing she listened to was the shots; after that, all the event of the killings came as a flash in her mind, every detail, every tear that trickled down Alyssa's face, until the moment her head fell to the side, lifeless. Emily was walking slow steps toward the living room, and every little thing that she had lived with her family started to pop up now in her mind, with the same speed of the shot that had killed the people she loved the most. Since the day she had met Mick for the first time, she remembered his smile charming at her; when they started dating, the first kiss, the first moment of love, when she told about the pregnancy, when he proposed to her, when she brought Alyssa to the world, the first cry of her little baby screaming loud on her mind now, the nights that Alyssa fell asleep in Emily's chest, when she learned to walk, the first word she spoke, of course, it was 'Mommy', the first time Alyssa said 'I love you' and smiled at her. All these memories were mixed in her mind now, along with the shots, everything in flashes, but very clear to her.

She was backs to the sofa now, remembering all of this, she was out of air now, and then, the pain she was feeling started to increase and increase, the only sound she could do, was a strange moaning; she folded her body as if she was having a terrible stomachache, and then she fell on the floor, in a fetal position again, there, like a human rag, much more thinner, very paler; big black circles around her eyes, and she was crying and crying in despair again, saying things like this:

"God, please… send back my baby… please… send back my baby… I cannot live anymore…"

After what seemed like hours, it was already dawn, she was still in the same place, but now she was sitting on the floor, legs folded, and her head resting on her knees, she was not crying anymore, she had no more tears, she was just there, so alive as the couch that was beside her, she suddenly looked up, and she saw the liquor cabinet in front of her, then, making a huge effort, she went kneeling until there, she looked at the liquor cabinet, to all those drinks that were there, and she did not stop one second to think, she grabbed a bottle of whiskey, she looked at the bottle, and she drank almost the whole bottle in almost one single gulp, she just wanted a way to anesthetize her mind and her pain, for just a moment. And then she took the first step towards the abyss that she was looking at to put her soul in.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think. Review! Thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing**

* * *

Emily had spent now an entire week dedicating herself to the alcohol. The effect of alcohol on her thin and frail body was a kind of a deep sleep, almost an alcoholic coma. And, for her, this was being good. Because when she was deeply sleeping, she did not have to remember who she was, and the tragedy that had happened, and how meaningless and miserable her life was now.

The following Saturday, Emily had spent ten days feeding on booze. The first week, she had stayed at Morgan's, so he kind of forced her to eat something solid. Now, seventeen days after the murders, it was a Saturday morning. Emily was passed out on the living room floor. She had drunk heavily the night before, as well as all the other nights before, just to be able to sleep all the time, without having to think.

The bell started ringing nonstop. After about ten minutes, someone was also knocking on the door and calling her name: Emily! Emily! Emily. She, then, finally regained consciousness and decided to open the door. Supporting the body on the couch, she rose from the floor to answer the door. She was praying that it might be the same suspect who killed her family, to be able to finish the job, but, then, she remembered that he was dead, and she kind of cursed Derek mentally because of it.

She opened the door, it was JJ and Garcia. They were bringing some foods for them to have a breakfast together, along with Emily. When Emily opened the door and the two blondes could see her, they were in shock. Of course they knew they would find Emily a little felled and a little thinner; but they never imagined that scene, Emily was whiter than paper, deep-set eyes, large dark circles, there was no life in her eyes, and the bones of her body were jumping out of the skin. She could barely be standing. She was supporting the weight of her body on the doorknob. When the two blondes saw Emily, some tears sprouted from JJ's beautiful and big eyes; and Garcia tried hard to disguise the pain she felt; she said:

"We came to have a breakfast with you, I know, well, actually we are missing you, we are here to hold you, and show how much we care about you, how we love you, and we are here for you to vent, and do anything you want to do to feel better…"

Emily looked at Garcia, and then, she looked at JJ, who gave a little smile to her; and she just opened the door wide for them to enter, saying nothing, she was still under the effect of the alcohol on her brain, and body.

JJ and Garcia entered the living room, while Emily was locking the door, the two blondes saw the all bottles scattered on the floor, bottles of whiskey, bottles of wine and vodka that Emily had drunk during the whole week. They exchanged glances with each other. They had barely recovered from the initial shock of seeing Emily like a rag which she had turned into, and they were now even more shocked. Emily came into the living room too; but she made no attempt to hide anything, she just said:

"I… apologize for the mess… I… I'm still not willing to do anything…"

Garcia quickly went to the kitchen to grab a garbage bag. She took the bottles from the floor. She opened the curtains and windows to get a new fresh air to the house. The atmosphere was really heavy. JJ said to Emily:

"We did not come here to see if the house is tidy, we came here for you!"

Emily felt a grip in her chest, and her eyes were watering. The big and beautiful blue eyes of JJ were also weeping.

They went to the kitchen. Garcia and JJ prepared the table for the breakfast. They held the towel, and put cups there on the table. They made a strong coffee for Emily. They had brought juice, fruits, bread and cake. Emily looked at it all on the table, and she had no desire to eat anything. Garcia said:

"Emily, honey, eat just a piece of that orange cake… I made it myself... please…"

Emily ate a piece of cake. She drank half glass of orange juice too. They were trying hard to cheer up Emily somehow, but she was not opening up herself, she was just there. They were sitting around the table, talking about other things, to try to distract Emily. They talked about BAU. JJ avoided talking about Henry. But the pain, Emily's suffering, and the tragedy that had happened were still shouting loud inside that house. As much as they wanted to avoid the subject, it was there, screaming, yelling out loud. They could see now how much Emily was lost and needing help. All those bottles made it clear that she had drunk too much, for a long time. JJ took Emily's hands and said:

"Emily, you know, drinking is not going to help you…"

Emily just looked at JJ's eyes and said:

"Nothing… is going to help me, JJ. Really… I appreciate what you two are trying to do for me right now… but nothing is going to help me anymore… never more…. and when I am under the effect of alcohol….I can feel the alcohol burning me inside… and anesthetizing me… I can just feel… nothing…. I feel nothing and it is a relief for me….. I fell sleep… a deep sleep….."

"Emily, I know, I understand, but you cannot drink forever. Look, I know it is hard, although, I have no idea how we are supposed to do to be able to get over a tragedy like this; but getting yourself sick and out of this world in not the right answer…."

Emily looked up to prevent a tear to roll. When she was about to look at JJ again, she saw some Alyssa's clothes that were on the clothesline, in the laundry, next to the kitchen. She got up from the chair. She went to the laundry, under JJ's and Garcia's eyes. She took all the clothes from the clothesline. She was holding Alyssa's clothes in her hands, and she hugged the clothes so strong. JJ and Garcia were now kind of cursing each other mentally because both of them had forgotten to check on the clothesline when they had come to Emily's place to hide Mick's and Alyssa belongings. They went after Emily on the laundry:

"Emily…" They had no words.

Both JJ and Garcia were crying now too. Emily said:

"This one here… (she was holding a flowered dress of Alyssa)… was her favorite…" She could barely speak. It could be felt all the pain in her cracking voice. She said:

"It hurts… it hurts so bad… I miss her… I miss my baby…"

JJ and Garcia both without reaction. They hugged Emily, and Emily said to them:

"Guys, I'm sorry, but… I need to be alone… please… I just need to be alone…"

Garcia and JJ looked at each other. There was no way they could leave Emily there alone, in the situation she was right now. JJ said to her:

"We are not leaving you, Emily. Not that way…"

Emily said:

"Really girls… There is nothing you two can do for me now, I want to be alone, please… I need this space to try to figure out who I am again… (that was a big lie)…"

JJ and Garcia were still hesitating. Emily said:

"Please… I will not do anything stupid…"

After JJ and Garcia went away, Emily locked the door. She, then, went to the laundry again. She pulled all the clothes from the clothesline, pulling hard and angrily, almost tearing the clothes, and the clothespins were jumping, as she pulled the clothes, tightly. She was desperately crying now, in utter despair, she was in crisis, but she needed to put this hatred, this bad feeling to out.

Then, she threw the clothespins' basket on the floor, angrily. She threw the box of soap powder on the ground, angrily. She threw the iron in the ground. In fact, she threw on the floor everything she saw in front of her, in complete despair. She destroyed the laundry. But she had much more hate inside still.

Then, she went to the kitchen. She opened all the doors of the cabinets. And she threw everything that was inside on the floor: glasses, cups, saucers, plates, bowls, pots, cutlery, vases, and everything were breaking in contact with the floor. She was throwing everything on the floor, with force, she destroyed the whole kitchen too. Breaking everything she could. Breathing hard and crying a lot.

Then, she went to the living room, she threw all the garnishes, vases, frames on the ground, one by one. All frames that were on the walls, she was breaking and throwing on the ground. There was a little table that had a drawer in it. She pulled this furniture on the floor. So the drawer broke, and inside that drawer there were many photos of her with Mick and Alyssa. She stopped breaking things seeing those photos. She just kneeled on the floor. She took photos on her hands, crying very, very hard now. It was a pain that could not be put into words.

She was squirming in pain on the floor now, holding the photos in her hands. Photos of Mick and Alyssa smiling at her. She was in so much pain in her soul now, that this pain came to the body, making her vomit, emptying the contents of her stomach, the few things she had just ate for breakfast, mixed with the drinks she had drank the night before. Her pain was real, it was really real.

She spent the rest of the day there on the floor, in the same place. She was interspersing moments of complete absence of being, as if she had no life, with moments of complete despair. It was already night. During a moment of complete 'no life', JJ called to check on her:

"Hello…"

"Em, I'm calling to check on you. If you want to, I can go catch you. You can spend the night here, at my place…"

"Thanks JJ, I'm gonna be okay…"

"Are you sure, Em?"

"Completely sure, JJ."

Emily could not stay in that house anymore. She was not able to breathe inside that house anymore. But, on the other hand, she did not want to ask for help, because she did not want any contact with anything or anyone that could remind her old life. The alcoholic beverages were already over. So, after some time, she decided to go out. She took a bath, because the vomit was still stuck on her clothes and on her body. She dressed in a faded jeans, boots, an old shirt, and a jacket. She grabbed her purse, car keys. Before she could leave, she looked once more into her house, her destroyed house, and she begged for her to never have to go back there again, and, so, she went away, leaving behind the house completely destroyed inside, only not more destroyed than her own soul, and she wanted to leave there all her pain too. Deep down, she knew her pain will be her eternal company for life.

She drove down a road for what seemed about forty minutes. She saw a roadside bar and she decided to stop and enter. The place was very different from those she used to go with JJ and Penelope, for the girls' night, but she knew that what she wanted now, she would find there: alcohol. So, she did not think twice to enter.

The bar had a rustic floor. There were a few tables and chairs made by wood, scattered around the environment. It had some stools near the counter. The light was very dim. There was a drunk guy playing guitar and singing some old country songs with wrong lyrics. There were only a few men in the place. It looks like they were also fighting their personals pains too. Emily came in and sat at the counter, asking for a triple whiskey without ice. The man behind the counter said to her:

"Right away, babe…"

Filling up her glass with the liquid honey color, he said:

"Bad day?"

Emily just stared at the man, and he could realize that she did not want to talk. Although she was really looking for something that could get her out of herself and take her to places she never went before in order to forget her old life. There was a man sitting at a distant table, he was looking at Emily from the moment she had stepped into the bar. After she had drunk three triples doses of whiskey, he approached her, sitting on the stool beside her. Emily noticed his presence but she did not even look at him. He asked for another drink for himself, and after about ten minutes (of course he had already analyzed her very well), he said to her, looking at her:

"You know what… it is kind of comfortable when we see someone just like us, trying to erase the pain…"

Then, he turned his face to drink a little bit of his whiskey. When he was not looking at Emily, she looked at him. Somehow, she wanted to see him. But she remained in silence. The guy was a burly type, muscular, but he made the best 'poor guy' way he could do to get Emily's attention. He was like twin brother of Vin Diesel.

Both their glasses were already getting empty, then, the man behind the counter came with the bottle of whiskey and offered more to the man. The man beside Emily motioned for him to fill his glass again and said:

"… you can put another dose for this beautiful lady here…"

Emily just looked at him with the corner of her eyes.

With both glasses already filled, they went back to drinking. After another sip, she looked at him and said:

"Thank you."

And the man said to Emily, extending his hand to greet her:

"Tucker ... Tucker Walter ..."

She hesitated only for a second, but she reached out to greet him, saying only:

"Emily."

"…Emily… what a beautiful name for a very beautiful woman…"

Emily remained in silence and drinking, while the man was talking to her:

"I can feel that there is a sad and dark cloud in your life…"

"Look…. I…. I don't want to talk about me…."

"Okay, Okay… Emily…It is just I have so many losses in my life… and I can see that in you too…both of us are trying to drown our pain and sorrow away…"

Looking down at her drink, she asked him:

"What did you loss?"

Of course he was a cad who was trying to win her, so he had to say something to touch her heart, somehow. So, he thought quickly and said:

"I lost my only daughter…my little princess…"

Instantly, Emily raised her head and looked at him, and their eyes met. Someone who could understand her pain, she thought.

Still looking at him, she asked:

"Did you?" (She wanted to know how.)

Now, he turned his face to look at his drink, to avoid eye contact because he was going to lie. But Emily had totally deleted her Prentiss profiler mode. So, she did not notice this little detail. He said:

"Yeah… she died when she was hit by a car… right in front of me… I could not help her…"

Emily was now thinking: he feels the same way as me. He lost his child in front of him. He is thinking it is his fault, just like how I feel. She said to him:

"I'm … so… sorry…"

"That is okay, Emily… It happened two years ago. But I still feel all the pain inside me….. After that, my wife left me, and the alcohol is my only company…. The only thing that understands me…"

Emily was curious now. She asked:

"So, you… you still feel… the same way? ... About the pain…"

"…Well, we get used to living with pain, but it is always there… that pain in my soul never goes away. I can never see the light again….. That is why I need a way to escape from the darkness. So, I turn to things that can help me to escape…"

She got curious about what could be those 'things' he was talking about. But she remained in silence. He said:

"I try to keep focused on my job, which is very tough too because I am a policeman (that was true). But in my days off, like today, there are just a few things that can ease my pain… and….my loneliness…"

Emily got even more curious. So did him, because he wanted to know what had happened to her. If she had had a fight with her husband or boyfriend. He had no idea, but he wanted to know. He said:

"It's like… I am living in the hell, but there is something that can make us feel like we were in the heaven… even if it just for a few moments…"

Emily said, more to herself than to him, but he was able to listen:

"I'm living in the hell now…"

He said, then, to her:

"I have something in the car that can make you feel better…"

She looked at him.

* * *

**And now? Does Emily will take this step toward a new life? A life worse than hers? …But better for her?**

**We'll see! Thanks for the comment! Review! Please…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the comments!**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

"I have something in the car that can make you feel better…"

She looked at him. He said:

"Do you want to try it?"

She thought just for two seconds, and said:

"Yes…"

He paid for the drinks, and they two went toward his car. Emily stared at the man, muscular, strong, tall, practically Vin Diesel himself, but she saw much more than appearance. She saw an escape from her harsh reality. She saw a chance to escape from the person she was now. What is the danger of sticking in the car of a stranger in a bar by the road? All danger! But she was not worried one bit. If she died, she could regain her family. That way, she thought. And she got into his car. It was a black truck.

They got in the car. He got the driver's side and Emily beside him. The bar was in the middle of the desert. There was nothing around, and the road was a few miles away. It was a very dangerous situation for her. But she did not care, not even a bit. Once inside the car, they talked some more, more him than Emily. He flashed his badge and his gun. He wanted to prove that he was indeed a police officer, without having even the slightest idea that he was right in front of a federal agent of the FBI, and just about to do drugs, and, worse: provide it for her. Luckily for him, she seemed to have no interest in who the fucking person she was now. She did not care if this was against the law. She was not a federal agent today. Today, she was a faceless person with no soul and no heart.

He wrapped the marijuana cigarette, and began to smoke, right there in front of her. She was already in a state of drunkenness that was already driving her a little disconnected from the world. This was the effect of alcohol on her. But after two weeks under this effect, it did not seem to be enough for her anymore. She needed more.

After he had taken about three deep drags in the damn weed he handed the cigarette to her, saying:

"Now you know how I deal with my pain and loss. I have a feeling you are suffering something similar to me, because I can see it in your eyes. This gives us a high that make us forget… even if it is only temporarily, but taking away the pain. Is what we both always need…"

Kind of feeling out of herself, she took the marijuana cigarette, and took the first sip. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. And she took the second and third sip. He was already rolling another papillote, preparing another cigarette for them.

After half an hour smoking the drug, the effects of that drug were all over her body. The car was so full of smoke that they could hardly see each other. Emily lay on the car seat. She closed her eyes. She surrendered to the effects of the drug: euphoria, drowsiness, feeling of happiness, spontaneous laughter, without any reason, loss of sense of time, space, etc. loss of motor coordination, balance, speech, etc. temporary loss of intelligence, and red eyes. And she liked it, she liked it a lot.

Emily had her eyes closed, lying on the car seat. She was completely surrendered to her trip. When she opened her eyes, Tucker was right beside her, right next to her face. She tried to get up and sat, but it did not have much space as he was practically on top of her. So she remained motionless; lying in the passenger seat of the car. He took a hair from her face, saying:

"You are so beautiful…"

"No, I am not beautiful. I feel so ugly right now. I feel I am stuck on this world in a living hell, my heart and soul feels so ugly, a total darkness, but thank you for giving me this escape, after taking this I can forget and escape for a while…"

"…You may be not feeling good inside… and your outside may be showing a little of this… but you are still gorgeous to me…"

Tucker was saying these last words very close to her face. Emily did not want to be the person she used to be anymore. She did not want to go back to living her old life. She needed an escape. And for that, she needed amulets that could help her. And if for the rain falling takes a black sky, even though it is day, she wanted that darkness for her. The sore would be always present. And that was a fact for Emily. But she wanted to try other types of pain, to see if the main pain (having lost to her family, and together, all sense of her life) could disappear or lessen. She was seeing in Tucker deliverance of hell where she was feeling now.

The stimulating effect that those deep drags had brought, the calming effect, blocking all the stress, more than want, she needed them. She felt that this was the way, she felt that she would need excessive doses of this and of him; to keep herself extremely toxic; outside of herself, making it a psychic and physical dependence, an addiction!

Something eroded her soul and ruin the bit of soul that she still had. All this thoughts and feelings in her mind and under the effect of the drug and alcohol, she was just looking at him. Tucker, then, grabbed her neck with one of his huge hands, while he was passing his thumb on her mouth.

She did not want to kiss him, she did not want to be touched by him. She wanted Mick. She loved Mick. And only him! But the pain she was feeling was so BIG that perhaps a rape of herself could help assuage what she was feeling. So when Tucker tried to kiss her, she simply allowed; raping herself; raping all the respect for herself.

Within minutes, they were fucking inside the car. That strong and muscular man, smelling alcohol and under the influence of marijuana on her fragile body.

Emily closed her eyes and she felt her soul go away. It was as if she lent her body to someone else. Each time when the man was thrusting into her, she felt like that she was not there. She closed her eyes all the time, and it was like she was under the effect of some other strong drug.

He poured all the semen inside her, and got out of her, pulling up his pants. He said to her:

"You're hot, girl!"

Emily looked at him and thought he was exactly what she needed. He was so insensitive that he did not notice the tears streaming down her face, much less that she simply felt nothing.

Slowly she pulled her pants up as well, and lowered her T-shirt (which he had raised to explore the breasts area).

That was too much for an Emily Prentiss. But she did not want to go back to her old life. She said to him:

"Can I sleep at your place tonight?"

"Sure...It's almost dawn...I can go to pick up your car tomorrow so you can come with me right now..…"

"Sounds perfect to me…" She said, almost lifeless.

He lived in a one-story house, made of wood, painted yellow. The old paint was stripped. There was a small room with an old TV. There was a small kitchen next to the living room, with a table and four chairs, and there were two bedrooms. In his bedroom, there was an old double bed, clothes strewn. The house was very messy and dirty. There were beer cans scattered everywhere. He said to Emily:

"I'm sorry for the mess. I had no idea I would come home with a princess…"

Emily was in a state of trance so big that she did not say anything. Within minutes, they were lying in bed, in a state of deep sleep, both of them.

The next day, around noon, Emily opened her eyes. She was seeing everything blurry and unfocused, like if it was all in slow motion. She did not recognize the place where she was. She looked around, from one side to the other room, now sitting on the bed. And then she saw a figure leaning against the doorframe of the bedroom. He was a strong man, tall, with police clothing, arms crossed, looking at her. He said:

"Hmm, you're awake! Good morning!"

She said nothing while her mind was regaining consciousness, and she remembered that she probably had sex with him.

Seeing she did not respond, he sat on the bed beside her, taking a hair that was in her mouth and said:

"I made a strong coffee…it is in the kitchen. I'm going to work now and come back around 10 pm. I'm going to ask my partner to take me to the bar with his car, and I bring your car, okay?"

She was not, even a little, worried about her car. But she said:

"Okay…"

Before he leaves, he grabbed her hair, gently, and said to her:

"I don't know what happened to you, but remember we both are suffering, and we both can help each other. Let me help you take you out of this darkness that you said you were in…"

He wanted her to stay. Of course, he wanted. Emily, well, she was still in existence state, without any reason to continue living.

"I'm going now, and if you need our 'pill' (he was referring to the weed), there are more in that drawer."

Well, no need to say that Emily spent the day drinking alcohol and doing drugs. It was a very easy way to keep her insane because she did not want to be sane ever again.

Around ten thirty PM he arrived from work. Emily was lying on the sofa, completely under the influence of the weed. She was wearing a Tucker's T-shirt that was like a dress for her because of his size. And she was wearing nothing more than a T-shirt. He asked:

"How was your day?"

"Good… I… I… I'm wearing your T-shirt… I had to take a bath…"

"That's okay. You look sexy in it…"

He prepared a marijuana cigarette for him, and they smoked together. The house was still a complete mess. After the cigarette, he held Emily by her head and pulled her into a hot kiss. She just let it happen. After the kiss he took off her T-shirt leaving her completely naked. Her mouth opened a little by this rude act. But, once, she did nothing. He said:

"I will take it as an invitation…"

He took Emily (who was practically a bag of bones) in his strong arms and he took her to his bed.

In a very short time they were fucking like crazy in bed. He was much more sober than her. Emily was completely freaked by the effect of drugs and alcohol. She was in a complete state of lightness, as if she was floating on a sea of wild flowers, she closed her eyes and surrendered to this feeling of happiness: someone was taking her life off her, the little life she still had. She seemed to be able to smell the flowers, such was the hallucination.

And that man. He knew he was totally taking advantage of a woman in tatters. He knew how out of mind she was. He knew how much darkness and sadness there were in her life. He just did not know the reason or what had happened to her. But he knew the last thing she needed was to be addicted in some kind of drug or hostage in a bad situation. But, it was all the he would offer to her. And it was all that Emily wanted now. So, they were perfect matches now.

In with each deep thrust he was giving into inside her, she felt a little more life leave her body, and it was being good for her. The guy was a wild kind, especially during the sex. While he was thrusting his penis stronger inside Emily, he was biting with force all the few of skin she still had on body: shoulder, neck, nipples, pulling her hair stronger too. It was a mixture of pleasure and distress. Pleasure to his side, and distress to her side, but at some point it mingled among them.

Emily was making some noises through the mouth. Something that was like a moaning and it made Tucker even more excited. He, then, kissed her on the mouth, but it was not a normal kiss, it was a voracious and famished kiss. He was practically swallowing the mouth, tongue and her jaw, leaving marks, and biting with force her lips, it was about to leave blood. Blood that he made a point to prove it.

* * *

After a week living practically the basis of marijuana, alcohol and wild sex; Emily was even thinner and mentally shaken. It was a Saturday, and Tucker and Emily decided to go buy some clothes for her, because she was only wearing his clothes. Then they went into the supermarket to buy drinks and lots of beer. Emily was right to pretend that she was not who she was, and that's fine. Although sometimes she still had strong relapse and huge crises remembering daughter and husband murdered, and the desire of being dead was still her number one goal in life, but she knew she could not commit suicide because she could not recover her family again if she committed suicide.

At night, they were at home, drinking alcohol and doing drugs, mostly weed. Delivering the cigarette to Emily after taking another deep drag, he said:

"So, are you going to tell me what happened in your life?"

Smoking the weed, she said:

"No, I don't think you need to know… don't get me wrong, it is not you… It is just I am trying to forget about everything…"

"Oh… I see… okay, then… but…. I hope you stay here… I really enjoy your company…"

"Yeah… If you don't mind… I'm staying…"

He pulled her, so she was now sitting on his lap, facing him. He kissed her on the mouth. She said:

"I'm...I'm thinking about going back to work..."

"Oh really? And what kind of work would this be?"

"FBI…"

"What?"

Even under the effect of alcohol and weed, he was totally surprised now.

"I'm a federal agent… I work for FBI…"

"Wow… is this a kind of trap?"

"No.. .you don't have to worry, after all I'm doing drugs all weekend with you...Relax..."

Tucker was a little pissed now and said to her, grabbing her arm with force:

"Just remember, Emily, you are just as guilty as me. You better not tell anyone about me doing this. We have to protect each other. After all, we are in same boat, because we are both lost souls needing this to escape…"

* * *

Emily returned to work. But the whole team noticed how different she was. Been able: she still has not recovered! Everyone thought. Hotch urged her to do monitoring and psychological tests before she returned to work, but she refused to do, saying that he was doing another type of monitoring. Finally, as she wanted, she was on the field again. Risking life balmy! Always pairing with Derek.

Living with Tucker and risking her life all the time, seeing how violent and dangerous he could be. She was thinking these may be the answers she was looking for, these might give her the punishment she was looking for and she could end up being killed by Tucker or dangerous experiences on the field.

Everybody noticed that strong man is always with her, bringing her to work or something. So, the team already knew she was seeing someone. They found it very strange, because Emily said nothing, especially to the girls Penelope and JJ, that she used to tell everything.

Derek, JJ and Garcia seeing Emily involved with Tucker so fast and seeing her a complete mess, suspicious bruises throughout the body, they could see in her eyes she was on drugs, they tried hard to talk to her, but no luck, they could not get through to her anymore, not to that Emily that she was now. The last time they tried to talk to her, she said:

"You all have nothing to do with my personal life! I know what I have to do to ease my pain. Derek, you have your different hot girls every night. JJ you have Will and Henry; and Pen, you have Kevin, I have nothing! And no one! So, just leave me alone, please…"

Unfortunately, it could be said that Emily was hating everyone at BAU right now, and everything that was there. Because they reminded her about who she was; the Emily she was, and the life she had, and she was trying hard to erase, because they bring her back to the painful memories of Mick and Alyssa. The only reason she had turned back to work is that she could risk her life in the field.

* * *

They were working on a very difficult case now. Emily and Derek were chasing two suspects and accomplices, and the suspects were heavily armed. Emily and Derek were hidden from the outside. The swat team raided the abandoned building where the suspects were in. Suddenly, very fast, leaving no time for Derek to do anything, Emily took off her bulletproof vest, and went inside the building. Derek took a fright, saying:

"Emily! Emily! Don't!"

Before Derek could enter the building, many shots could be heard coming from inside.

* * *

**Please, give me your opinion. Curse me. Say something. And I will warn: this is going to be really dark still. Thank you!**


	5. Chapter 5

**As always, it's sad, but: I OWN NOTHING!**

* * *

They were working on a very difficult case now. Emily and Derek were chasing two suspects and accomplices, and the suspects were heavily armed. Emily and Derek were hidden from the outside. The swat team raided the abandoned building where the suspects were in. Suddenly, very fast, leaving no time for Derek to do anything, Emily took off her bulletproof vest, and went inside the building. Derek took a fright, saying:

"Emily! Emily! Don't!"

Before Derek could enter the building, many shots could be heard coming from inside.

The shots were not for Emily. It was the SWAT killing the suspects. Emily left the building and Derek was just yelling at her:

"Prentiss! Are you crazy? What the fuck are you doing? It was the third time in a month you did this! I'm going to have to report this to Hotch!"

She was yelling too:

"… As if this was not enough that you did not give me the fucking favor of letting me die with my family!"

She entered the SUV and slammed the car door on the passenger side.

Derek entered the driver's side, saying:

"I saved your life!"

"No, you don't! Because my life ended that day! My soul is not here anymore, just my body, and I have to live along with this pain every second of my life because you did not give time to that son of a bitch to kill my body too...instead you just killed my soul…"

"So, you really are looking for a way to kill yourself?!"

Morgan said, nervously, while he was driving. Emily was looking out of the car window. She answered:

"This is none of your business…"

"I'm going to have to tell Hotch!"

"Do what you want, Morgan! I don't care… Fuck!"

"Emily… I know what you went through is not easy…"

"Shut up, Morgan! Shut up! I don't want to hear a fucking word! Do what you want to do… but you don't think your words will help me….. Or it will make me feel better, because nothing will make me feel better, never again… I want to stop talking right now…"

"I also need to stop talking to you, Emily. No one can get through to you anymore. I tried my best with you, like everyone on the team. I am just wasting my breath trying to get through to you, hoping and praying that you will listen... I just wish you can see that we all want to help you…"

"SO BRING MY DAUGHTER AND MY HUSBAND BACK!" She yelled at him.

"Emily… if I could do this for you… I would bring back your family for you, I would do anything in the world, but I cannot. The only thing I can do is be the friend you need, let me be there for you, Emily…"

"I don't need your pity, and there is nothing you can do… so, just leave me alone…"

* * *

They arrived at the BAU. Hotch and the rest of the team was already there. Each one of them was sitting at their desks. Morgan headed toward the Hotch's office. Emily just sent a mortal glare at him. She knew what he was going to do there. She picked up her purse; she put it on her shoulders and walked away.

She was very nervous lately, and everyone had realized that excessive nervousness. But they thought it was because of the tragedy. But deep down, beyond the tragedy, she was in a crisis of abstinence from the drugs she was using.

* * *

She came home. Her home was now the home of Tucker. He had not yet arrived from work. It was about nine o'clock at night. She threw her purse on the couch, and she was preparing a weed for her to smoke.

She threw herself on the sofa and smoked two weed cigarettes completely. So she was a bit calmer now. After about an hour later, she was still there. Her body was still thrown on the couch. Tucker came home from work. He was also nervous, because of the work he did, and because of the lack of the weed and alcohol. He saw Emily there on the couch and he said to her:

"I'm hungry!"

"The kitchen is right there…" She said without thinking.

Tucker went to the kitchen to find the sink full of dirty dishes and a terrible mess, and a lot of empty pan. He became even more nervous than he already was. Emily got up from the couch and went to the bedroom. He went after her:

"You think I'm stupid, you bitch? It has a lot of empty pots in the kitchen! I said I'm hungry!"

She turned to face him, shouting:

"I'm not your maid. I'm not your mother!"

Without even blinking, he slapped her on the face so hard that she went to the other side of the bedroom, on the floor. Not satisfied, he walked over to her and pulled her from the floor by her hair, saying:

"No, you are not my maid, and not my mother. I would not want you to be those things, because you are just a worthless whore. You can never be a maid and a mother... When I tell you to do something, you have to do! And don't play with my face. I'm going to take a shower now, and when I come out of that bathroom, I want my dinner ready! And, after this, if you are a good girl, I can do you a favor of fucking you hard all night, you worthless bitch of a whore…"

He threw Emily on the bed and went to the bathroom. Emily went to the kitchen, cursing a lot, and she made pasta with eggs for him. He sat on the couch, watching sports on television, the favorites were the fights. She brought the food to him. He said:

"Brings me a beer…"

She obeyed. She saw him as her savior. Because he could provide for her maybe a pain even bigger than she was feeling. A darkness even more dark that she was already in.

He finished eating, and drinking beers, and he went to the bedroom where Emily was already. She was lying. He said to her:

"I think you deserve a punishment, because this fucking food was not that good, and you better learn… I deserve better than this, always!"

She remained motionless. She was totally delivered to her cruel fate. She wanted this: try all sorts of pains, to see if that main pain disappeared. He said to her:

"…You know I don't like ordinary things… and I have no idea if you've tried it… But if it's your first time, I'll be very glad making this for you…"

Emily had no idea what he was talking about until he turned her facedown on the bed, for a sexual act very unconventional.

A rape in places she had not tried. While he was raping her, she screamed out loud in pain, but she could not move because of the weight of his body over her. She screamed in pain, and this pain mingled with the other pain. And, screaming, she felt that maybe the pain would ease a little, as if she was taking out all the pain. And as he pushed deep inside her, in the back, she screamed and he said:

"Cry, bitch! I know you like to feel pain. So feel this pain… Cry for me…"

And he stayed there for what seemed hours, long hours, and finally he came, spouting all the sperm inside her. The only positive factor for her was that she could not get pregnant through this unconventional act.

After he take the whole weight of 120 pounds of muscle from her; Emily could get up, she was disgusted with herself. She went to the bathroom and closed the door. She turned on the shower and sat on the floor, letting the water fall over her. So, this way, she remained for nearly an hour, sitting on the floor, under the shower. She hugged her legs and rested her chin on her knees, just feeling the heavy water falling on the hair. She closed her eyes, and she was remembering happy moments with Mick and Alyssa. Little Alyssa smiling at her, and caressing her on the cheeks; and when Mick used to surprised her with a beautiful single rose.

* * *

Next day, BAU, she went to work. A human rag: She kept losing weight; Sad eyes and lifeless; Big black circles; Bruised mouth (Tucker loved biting her mouth during wild sex); And some suspicious bruises throughout the body. Before the briefing, Hotch called her for a private talk in his office. He said:

"Listen, Prentiss, I know you suffered very tragic losses. I can never stop with the condolences and sympathies, but I have a job to do as team leader, and it is an important part of my job to make sure the safety of all my team members. You cannot purposely jeopardize your own life, risking your life, and risking the life of your team mates, by going suicidal. I have no choice but to take action to do what is best for you and the team, so, I have to put you back on a desk job…"

"WHAT?"

He said firmly:

"You are out of the field until you agree to get professional help…"

"Hotch! I don't need professional help! I want to be on the field! You cannot do this!"

"Yes, I can, and I already did! You are out of the field until further notice…"

"… and… if I don't agree?"

"…If you don't agree, there is only one more thing we can do… I can send you to a psychiatric treatment, so I can put you away from work for health problems… and you will have to do the treatment…"

"…and if I don't agree with this too?"

"Well...then you leave me with no more options..."

She was biting her lips, nervously now, thinking. Hotch told her:

"Prentiss, I lost Haley in a tragic way too, I know how you feel…"

She cut him off, getting up from the chair, and saying:

"No you don't because you did not see any son of a bitch putting a bullet and exploding in Jack's brain...You did not carry your son dead's body drenched in blood, on your arms… Although, I'm pretty sure that even if you had gone through it… I bet you would be working right away on the next day" But, guess what, Sir. Aaroon Hotchner, I'm not like you! I have a heart! I have feelings, and even if I'm really trying to kill myself, I am demonstrating some kind of feeling or existence… unlike you, always cold and emotionless…I rather be like me than you!... (She made a pause, and said)….. You can prepare my resignation…"

* * *

She came out of Hotch's office, leaving the gun and badge on his desk, and shut the door. She picked up a box to pick up her personal belongings that were in her drawer. The rest of the team was already gathered in the meeting room, with the exception of Hotch. The team was waiting for him. Reid stood up from his chair to grab something on the other side of the table, and from there, the meeting room, he saw Emily packing. He decided to go talk to her. He went downstairs, walked up to her and said:

"I'm so sorry…"

Emily stopped packing and look at him. She said:

"Thank you, Reid…"

"I'm going to miss you…"

"No, you will not! She said without looking at him.

"Yes, I will… "

"No, you don't, Reid, you don't know the person I became, and trust me: you won't want to know her…"

"Emily, I can relate how you just want to just climb in a hole and stay in the darkness forever when you lost your soul mate and baby girl. I lost a soul mate in Maeve too….The day she died we are quoting from our favorite books, and we can close this chapter and book of our hearts. We will never forget and we both lost our loved ones because of evil and heartless unsubs… We can help each other, Emily…"

"Reid… I appreciate, really… but … I don't think anyone can help me right now… I'm building my new world in a place that I don't want bring none of you in… so, thank you… but this is the end… we can still see each other, but I need this space…"

She put her purse on her shoulders and she carried the box with both arms, and she headed toward the elevator. Reid went behind her; he grabbed her arm, gently, saying, as the elevator did not reach the floor:

"You are wrong, Emily… I've already been in this place…"

She entered the elevator. Reid had time just to finish his sentence, saying:

"…drug is not the answer, Emily…"

The elevator door closed.

* * *

Emily went to her house and Tucker, lit a weed for her, and she was sleeping all day and smoking. At dusk, she cooked dinner for Tucker. Around half past ten in the evening he arrived. He was having dinner. She was sitting on the sofa, and he was sitting on the other sofa, with plate of food in his hands. She said:

"I quit the job today…"

That was kind of a relief to him. It was not easy to live under the constant threat of living with an FBI agent. He asked:

"…Any particular reason?"

My boss wanted me out of the field and put me on a desk job…. I declined…"

"…You can stay here, Emily... But under my rules… And first it is: I do not want any federal agent here at home!"

* * *

Emily had spent the next weeks getting high, drinking, and making company to Tucker, and taking care of things around the house, preparing dinner, etc... She was just trying to survive, trying to forget who she was before. She does not even remember the last time she smiled.

It was one of those days when Emily was much more sad and depressed, so she smoked weed during all that day. She prepared the dinner for Tucker. Much later, Tucker arrived and he was preparing a plate for him to eat. He was very nervous too, because the day at work had not been easy for him, and he was short of drugs in the body. Emily had made a cauldron of vegetable soup. It had to last for all week, so she did not need further cooking that week. When Tucker first tasted the soup, it was very salty. She was standing at the sink, washing dishes, her backs to him; he was sitting at the table. He stood up. He walked over to Emily, and grabbed her hair, saying:

"You think this is good? Bitch! You will taste it!"

Using one of his hands, he held Emily by the hair, almost lifting her off the ground, and using the other hand; he grabbed the handle of the pan, and turned the entire contents of the pan on the floor. Then, he threw Emily on the floor and rubbed her face in the soup, as if he had wiping the floor with her face, which was all dirty soup, face, hair, clothes. He pressed her face against the floor so hard making her vomit, and he became much angrier that he began kicking her. She moaned softly, and he kicked and kicked and kicked her, several times, just saying things like this to her:

"…you are a worthless hog…"

But he began to hear a knock on the door. Knocking, insistently, so he went to see who it was, leaving Emily there crawling on the floor. Saying to her:

"We will finish this later!"

He opened the door and it was Morgan outside who was listening to everything. So he then told Tucker:

"Where is Emily?"

* * *

**Well, is Morgan and Tucker have a fight, it will be intense. Tucker is much strong, so I hope they don't fight. Let's see, what do you think? And Emily… will she go with Morgan? Hmmmm….**

**Please, comment and let me know what you are thinking! Hank you!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm sorry, I'm sorry… thousands of I'm sorry for the errors… English is not my first language. I hope you guy can understand this well.**

**I own nothing, as always.**

* * *

Tucker was kicking Emily in all over her body. She was on the kitchen floor, in the middle of the puddle of soup, mixed with her own vomit. And much blood was coming out of her nose, because he had rubbed her face on the floor with force.

Suddenly, he began to hear a knock on the door. Knocking, insistently, so he went to see who it was, leaving Emily there, crawling on the floor. Saying to her:

"We will finish this later, bitch!"

He opened the glass door and it was Morgan outside who was listening to everything. So he then told Tucker:

"Where is Emily?"

The front door of their home was made by iron, and it had a grid, and the part that Tucker opened, it was only the glass of the door, so Derek could not enter even if he forced the entrance, because the door was locked, and only the glass part was opened, but there was grid on the glass.

"Who the fuck wants to know?"

"Listen, Tucker, I wish I could teach you a lesson for hurting Emily physically or emotionally. She is already in complete hell. The last thing she needs now is a devil like you to make her go deeper in this hell.…"

Tucker had not allowed the entry of Morgan inside the house, and he could not enter because there was the iron door and grille separating them. Emily appeared in the living room, anchoring her body on the couch. She was feeling a huge pain. Tucker had kicked her so many times, so hard that her whole body ached. It looked like she had been run over by a tractor. She appeared in the living room, unaware that Derek was outside the door. She was all dirty: her clothes, hair, face, and she was dirty on mix of soup, vomiting and blood. Morgan could not believe in his eyes. He said:

"Emily, what the fuck is going on? This cannot be happening… I must been dreaming this nightmare. I know your life has been a nightmare every second now without your family, but, Emily, you got to snap out of this, please, you do not deserve to live like this: wanting to be punished by this scum and bastard. Let me in, Emily, and let me help you. I want to pound the shit of this asshole for doing this to you…"

Having a huge difficulty to breathe, Emily said to Morgan:

"Derek, please, go away... I don't need you... go away, please... Just go away. You have nothing to do with my life…"

Morgan was totally broken, and it could be seen tears in his sad eyes. He still tried:

"Emily, this is not you! Think about your loved ones! I am sure they are seeing you from heaven now, and they are feeling like hell seeing you like this! You have to get yourself together. If you die like this today there is no way you can join them in heaven… Just think! Please, let me help you, Emily, it is not too late…" He was begging now.

"Derek… (labored breathing)….. I am begging you …(labored breathing)… if you one day you cared…(labored breathing)… about me…. (labored breathing)…. you will leave…..(labored breathing)….now….. (labored breathing)… and…. (labored breathing)… never come back…. (labored breathing)…again…."

"I cannot believe that it is what you want. But I will not come and see you again, and bother you anymore. If you want to hang around with the garbage of a man, then, fine, goodbye, Emily, good luck, you will need it with this bastard…"

"Get out asshole... You heard her!

And Tucker hit the door on Morgan's face. Morgan punched the wall outside the house, so strong that it hurt his hand. It was a mixture of hatred, anger and pity for her; and a huge feeling of helplessness that was consuming his soul. He said to himself:

'_Fine, Emily, if you do not want to help yourself, I will do as you say, even though it goes against my beliefs that what is right. I just hope you will get out of the darkness, and find me, so I can show you some light_.'

Inside the house, he grabbed Emily by her hair, and took there to the bathroom. Once there, he took off all her clothes and threw her on the shower floor, kicking her again and again, naked now; yelling at her:

"You Bitch! I told you I did not want any of your assholes agents here in my house!"

Emily was being kicked in the bathroom, and she had no more strength to moan, or scream, or cry. She said to him, with big difficulty:

"…Kill me already, please… Why don't you kill me already? Please…"

He finally stopped kicking her and said:

"I cannot kill you. I am having so much fun with you, if you die, how I would entertain myself. Besides, you are a good fuck, even I have to admit that…"

* * *

Next morning:

Emily was feeling lots of pain throughout all her body. She could barely move by herself. Then, she nudged Tucker, who was still snoring, and said:

"I need to go to the bathroom… but I cannot move…. I need you to help me…"

"I'm sleeping…" He growled.

"Tucker, you either help me, or just kill me already! If you do not want to kill me, then you better help me… your beatings is the reason I cannot move, you should just finish the job…"

He was lying in bed, his backs to her. Then he turned to look at her and said:

"Well, I can help you, but you talking that way, you made me really horny... So before I help you… you will help me here with this 'thing' that is already raised…"

Tucker said, and kissed her mouth. His kisses were like he was swallowing her mouth entirely. While he "kissed" her, he positioned his body over hers. Emily murmured:

"No, Tucker, no, please, I really need to go to the bathroom…"

"You need? Wait just a little bit…"

While he was being totally sarcastic with her, he was already fucking Emily hard. She moaned, but more because she was with the bladder completely full, it was a very uncomfortable situation. With each thrust he gave into her, she felt a huge pain in her bladder totally full; besides all the other pains of the beating of the day before. After doing what he wanted to do with her, he helped her go to the bathroom.

* * *

A month later:

Emily was now in a state of deep sadness. The routine of them was sleeping late, waking up late, at one o'clock in the afternoon, Tucker went to work. And Emily stayed home. From last week, however, she decided to go out as soon as he used to leave every day. She walked to a nearby square only to be watching the children play on the playground. She used to stay there almost during the all day, sitting on a bench, just watching the kids.

Until then, Emily was getting a certain comfort, just looking at the children playing in the playground. Of course she remembered Alyssa but, somehow she could not explain, it was bringing some peace to her. She liked to be there. She did not know why, but she felt closer to Alyssa, her little angel.

On that day, a woman sat down beside Emily on the same bench, with a child that seemed to be hers. It was a girl of about four years old. The woman was taking the child's sweater for her to be able to play more freely, and saying to the child:

"Go, sweetie… Mommy is right here, observing you…"

With the corner of her eye, Emily saw the whole situation. Emily was a figure now much thinner, much paler, big black circles, unbelievably dry mouth (because of weed), almost cracking, and there was a sadness glaring in her eyes. She was preparing to lift away when the woman said something to her, very friendly, smiling, pointing to the children on the playground:

"Which one is yours?"

Emily felt a fucking uncomfortable situation right now. She wanted to have super powers to become invisible now. But she could not, then, making her typical Prentiss' grimace; she opened and closed her mouth; swallowed; bit her lips; and finally said:

"None of them…"

"Oh… Don't you have a child?" The woman asked curiously.

Emily opened her mouth at the same time she felt her heart sank. But she managed to say:

"No..."

The woman turned her face to look at the daughter that was happily playing, and said to Emily:

"Oh… You should do… you definitely should do…"

Both women were now looking the children playing, and the woman kept talking:

"You know, I'm a lawyer, I had a job as a lawyer in a big and important international company, and I had a big salary, plus many trips and awards. But, when my daughter was born, I had to choose. I had to choose her. It was a lot of money that I have left to win, but my daughter has become a priority for me. There is no way I have reconciled my job and her, she is top priority for me now, and from here to long years I know, but I don't regret even a little..."

Emily hearing all of these and the air become dense, difficult to breathe. The woman kept talking:

"…You should try, because she brought all the meaning to my life. It was like I was nobody before her, I was worried about money, jewelery, expensive cars, but after her, I could really feel the meaning of the life…If one day I can come back to work, okay, then, I will, but if I don't I will be totally okay with my conscience at peace, because I know I did everything I could have done for my daughter, and I will keep doing until she is grown enough…"

Without the woman could see that Emily had already surrendered to tears, she stood up and walked quickly to her house and Tucker. She did not stop at red lights, really wishing to be hit by a car, but it not happened, she just heard lots of honking and cursing from some people because she was walking between cars. But her mind was too far for her can assimilate anything.

She was feeling totally guilty inside. The guilt was consuming the little of her soul that was left. If a miracle could be done, and she could go back in time, and had the opportunity to quit her job to devote herself to her little baby Alyssa. But she could not, she just could not, and she only remembered the days and nights that she had spent away from home working on a case, while her baby was at home, needing her. Mick was a great father, but nothing replaces a mother.

She came home, and it had no more weed at home, so, she drank the rest of a bottle of whiskey he had at home. She called Tucker:

"Hey, Tuck, I need you to bring me something…"

"What is it?"

"I need something stronger… Stronger than all, please…"

"Are you crazy? You know I can not do that!"

"You'll do, because if not, I will delate you to your superiors and you know I can do this!"

"You bitch! I kill you first!"

"That would be a big favor to me! I'm waiting!"

She hung up on him.

* * *

A few hours later, Tucker came home. It was around seven PM. Emily was anxiously waiting for him. He threw the cocaine on the floor, saying:

"Kill yourself…"

She bent to pick up. He grabbed her by the hair and said:

"But I do not want any problems! If you cause me any problem, I kill you with my hands and your body will disappear in acid just like snow in the fire…"

He threw her on the floor, and he left the house again, because he still had to work until ten PM. Emily took the cocaine in her hands, but before she could open the small package, an image appeared very clear in her mind.

* * *

**Will this image stop Emily to go deeper on her personal hell? Well, let's see. Please, Please, let me know your opinions and send suggestions, please Comment! Thank you!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I own nothing**

* * *

**A few hours later, Tucker came home. It was around seven PM. Emily was anxiously waiting for him. He threw the cocaine on the floor, saying:**

**"Kill yourself…"**

**She bent to pick it up. He grabbed her by the hair and said:**

**"But I do not want any problems! If you cause me any problem, I'll kill you with my bare hands and your body will disappear in acid just like snow in the fire…"**

**He threw her on the floor and left the house again since he still had to work until ten PM. Emily took the cocaine in her hands, but before she could open the small package, an image appeared very clearly in her mind.**

**It was Mick and Alyssa, they were shedding tears, and in this vision Alyssa was saying to Emily:**

**"Please, Mommy, don't. Please, stop. Please, don't kill yourself…"**

**Emily did not know if it was some kind of delirium of her mind because she'd been using drugs and drinking for so long now that she thought her mind was already imagining things.**

**Holding the small package of cocaine in her hands, she lay down on the floor, closed her eyes and surrendered to the memory of the time she was happy; the time she had Mick and her daughter. Thinking about all the trips they made together or when they were just at home, together, playing with each other. **

**She was crying again and saying to herself:**

**"Mick… I miss you so much. Where are you right now? Please… love… come to pick me up… I want to be with you and our baby so bad…Please, Mick, baby…"**

**The same vision came to her when her eyes were closed. Mick was talking to her now:**

**"Emily, my love, God sent us, your two personal angels, because he knew that we have a better chance to get through to you. Heaven is wonderful for the two of us. It is a perfect place as you know, and we want you to join us because heaven is hell without you, but you will not be able to join us if you die now, like this. The path you are taking now will lead you to the opposite spectrum of heaven. You need to change your ways, Emily. If you want to join Alyssa and me, you have to start living again and get out of the darkness. If you want to see the light in heaven with us, you need to cut all ties with Tucker as his soul belongs to Satan and the devil. He is leading you to the path of Hell on Earth and hell for eternity too… So, Emily, if you want to join Alyssa and me, someday, you have to be the wonderful loving person you've always been before that tragic day happened with Alyssa and me. It is not your time to join us yet. You have to live the life to the fullest and continue to help people like you did before. You have to get back your heart and soul again to feel and live again. That is the only way you can join us, my love, and you can be sure, me and Alyssa will wait an eternity for you to come, so there's no rush, my love…"**

**Emily then got up and threw the entire package of cocaine down the toiled, flushing it all.**

**She returned to the living room, and now she was in the most sober state since the tragedy happened. She passed through the room when the doorbell rang. She went to check who it was, seeing Reid through the peephole. She opened the door just enough to say to him:**

**"Reid, you can't come here… Please…"**

**"I just got back from a case, and I decided to come to check on you…"**

**"You do not have to…"**

**"I know…" he said as he put both hands in his pockets.**

**"Reid, this was not a good idea… Really…"**

**"Emily, your speech is not helping because when someone refuses helps it means the person is really in need…"**

**"I can be in need, but I don't want…"**

**"So, since we are suffering from similar pain, because of our losses, I know I did not lose a child, but I lost a soulmate just like you. So, maybe you can help me then. Just let me in. I really need someone to talk to. Trust me, you are going to help me…"**

**"This is reversed psychology, Reid…"**

**"No, it isn't!" Reid quickly responded with pleading eyes, and Emily could have sworn there was a real pain in there. **

**She opened her mouth a little, and bit her lip, thinking. In less than a minute, she opened for him to enter.**

**Already in the living room, before he could sit on the couch, he took a good look at the place. Emily said:**

**"Do not profile the place…"**

**He smiled, embarrassed. He took his hands out from his pocket and sat down on the couch.**

**Emily sat down on another, so that they could look at each other. She stared at him, waiting for him to start talking. She could have sworn there were tears there. He was not crying, but his eyes were glassier than normal. What she did not know was that he had already cried a lot over Maeve so this was tears from seeing what his dear friend was reduced to. She was almost unrecognizable. He was trying not to cry there in front of her and say something that could make her situation worse. He said:**

**"Emily, I don't know if my life is too short or too long for me anymore, but I know now that once in my life I really felt that I could touch the heart of a person. I know because I could feel that I was in someone's heart. Someone that was, and is, in my heart too. This truly gave me another perspective of life… I was dreaming about the day I would be a dad." He smiled a little at her, a sad smile. She returned the sad smile. "But my dream was interrupted in a drastic way, and I had to watch, just like you. This gives me nightmares, until now, every single night. No one knows about it because I know people have a limit when it comes to caring about others' lives. I love all my BAU friends, but I know I have to deal with this by myself. At the end of the day, it is me and only me. Now I'm trying to remember this single and unique feeling that I was in her heart. I could achieve her heart, and this is sustaining me until the day we can be together again…"**

**"I'm really sorry, Spencer… I don't know what else to say…I'm not the right person right now…"**

**"But you know your family will be waiting for you, right? No matter how much time it takes…"**

**"I don't know…"**

**Reid moved to sit on the same sofa as her, and said:**

**"They will, Emily. They will! It is just a matter of time… You are separated from your family for just a small amount of time…Think that way, please. I know Maeve is waiting for me where she is so we can be together eternally…"**

**"Are you sure?"**

**"Completely sure, Emily…"**

**"And how can I live with this pain?"**

**"Emily, the way we can touch people's lives, and you touched Mick's life and Alyssa so very deep and beautiful way, these kinds of things remain. This is something from another world, and this is what gives meaning to life! Think… That's what makes life to be neither short nor long, but intense, true, pure while it lasts…"**

**She was sitting on the sofa, her hands together. She was poking a wound that had formed in her hand. She did not know if it was from the beatings, drugs or alcohol, but it was just an escape of having to look at him. She was also shedding some tears.**

**Spencer Reid was a rare person, very rare. Intelligent to the extreme, famous for highest IQ, quick and logical thinking, a true genius in every sense of the word. But dealing with emotions was not his strong point. This process on helping Emily was helping him deal with his own feelings and emotions. Seeing she was crying, he took her hands, very gently.**

**All those pretty words that Reid was saying to her certainly entered her mind and heart, but not so deep as that touch of hands. This simple gesture could do much more for Emily than all those deep thoughts that he had shared with her. After all, when was the last touch of warmth she had. Alas, she preferred to not think about it. Emily could feel the energy coming from him, and all his sincerity. The silence at that time was very welcomed. There were only the hands getting along and this touch could not be fooled. It takes very special hands to find some breath for the heart. He was stroking her hands, and suddenly she squeezed them. It sounded like a tremendous 'yes' to him, like: 'yes, I need help!' He smiled a shy smile at her and they hugged. After a long time hugging, he said to her:**

**"Emily, I know it will be a long and difficult process because I know how you feel... that you deserve all of this… all of this pain… but I will help you, if you let me. We can help each other. I can come every day when I'm not working… But, please start helping yourself by quitting drugs right now… It is too soon for you to move from this place, okay? Try to start to remain sober because when you are drunk or under the influence of some drug, or out of your mind, losing all the sense and control and consciousness, you are just postponing a suffer that you are going to face. Someday you will have to face it because when you don't this pain will always be with you, wherever you go, and when you start to deal with it on the correct terms and on the right ways, I promise you that it will become easy to deal with. You will be able to accept and understand, but if you continue to deny it, it will always be like if it happened yesterday…"**

**Suddenly, they heard a noise at the front door. It was Tucker who was unlocking the door. He entered holding a crate with six bottles of beer. He looked at the two of them sitting on the couch. And he said to Emily:**

**"Hmm, you're with a girlfriend…"**

**Both Emily and Reid were standing now. Emily said, putting both hands in the back pockets of her pants:**

**"He was just leaving…"**

**Being very intelligent, Reid realized that if he insisted to stay this could cause problems for Emily. So he agreed to go. But Tucker still had time to make fun of him, saying:**

**"Ohh, too bad, I could make a really fun party fucking you two…"**

**Then Tucker sent a good look on Reid, up and down, and said very close to his face:**

**"Although, I'm not sure if you are even a girl…"**

**It was clear that Tucker knew Reid was a man, but he wanted to cause a scene. Reid and Emily just looked at each other, and they understood perfectly that it was better not to talk back or say anything. Emily walked Reid to the front door, under the curious gaze of Tucker. When Reid was outside the house, Emily whispered softly to him:**

**"Thank you."**

**Reid just smiled to her, placing both hands in the pockets of his pants, and he stood there, waiting for her to close the door. Emily, to avoid conversations, went quickly into the kitchen to heat up food for that man.**

**Outside the house, Reid remained there for a long time, sitting on the floor against the wall. It was a way for him to feel close to her. After a while, fearing that the beatings could begin, he stood up, and walked away. Because it was a crazy situation. Emily was a hostage to that man, that was a fact, but by her own will and choice. Reid did not know how to handle it. A phone call to Hotch and the team would probably be enough, but he did not know if Emily was ready to leave the darkness that she had chosen to be in. Somehow, she needed this darkness.**

* * *

**After the dinner, Emily was sitting on the sofa, and Tucker was on the other. They were watching old stuff on TV. Each one was sipping their own beer. Each time Emily took the bottle to her mouth, ideas were emerging in the sick mind of Tucker. Emily's lips on that pipe of the bottle was giving sick ideas for him, and these ideas were reverting into spontaneous gestures through his body, more specifically between his legs. He was getting very horny, very excited, and it was already visible in his pants. Suddenly, he drank the entire contents of the bottle of beer at one time. He belched disgustingly, and stood in front of her, where she was still sitting on the couch.**

**Emily was finishing drinking the last sip of her beer. She looked at him apprehensively. He took the bottle from her hands, throwing it away on the carpet. He sat down beside her, kissing her on the mouth, teeth, tongue. He almost swallowed her jaw. With the weight of his body on her, there was not much she could do. When he took a break to swallow her mouth, she could say:**

**"Tucker, please, I'm too tired, I do not want ..."**

**"Too bad for you, bitch, because you live here. I sustain you, and this is not for free…"**

**He grabbed Emily strongly by her hair with one of his huge hands, and used the other to unbutton his pants, pulling his huge and disgusting penis out. Pulling her by the hair, he positioned her so she got on her knees between his legs. He was sitting on the couch.**

**He forced Emily to perform oral sex on him. Holding her tightly by the hair, he was dictating the moves, moving her head up and down the entire length of his penis while he was saying nasty things to her. After a long time he was close to coming in her mouth so he accelerated and deepened the movement, causing his penis to touch deep into her throat, hitting her gag reflex several times, because he was very well endowed. Emily was about to suffocate and die from lack of air. With her hands, she tried to stop him somehow, but he was a bull, infinitely stronger than her. And he did not stop the movements. Totally suffocated with his penis stuck in her throat, she started to convulse and vomit nonstop. Vomit on his penis was the last thing he wanted now.**

**"You're a disgusting Bitch!"**

**He got up and threw Emily on the wall. She fell on the floor and stayed there. He walked over to her and kicked her several times nonstop, cursing at her. She was still convulsing, and vomiting blood now. She was really having a strong convulsion with uncontrollable spasms, bluish lips, upturned eyes, unconsciousness and salivation mixed with vomit. He only stopped kicking her when he realized she was totally unconscious now. He bent down to see if she was dead.**

**"Emily, Emily?"**

**She was pulseless.**

**As he had lifeguard training, due to the fact he was a policeman, he was trying hard to revive her now.**

* * *

**OMG! I don't know if I kill Emily now, later or I don't know, because I have no idea how recover this woman for her darkness. Any suggestions ? Please, comment... =)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you, guys, for all the comments.**

**I own nothing**

* * *

"Emily, Emily?"

She was pulseless.

As he had lifeguard training, due to the fact he was a policeman, he tried hard to revive her now. Tucker was very well trained to perform resuscitation maneuvers. With the palms of his hands over Emily's body, who was lying on the floor, lifeless, he was putting a lot of pressure on the end of the sternum, letting the weight of his body perform the work to resurrect Emily. Tucker was doing everything as he had learned in the training of rescuers. Increasing the pressure every 15 compressions, ventilations and making appropriate, all this within 10 seconds, with small stops to see if the pulse had returned. He realized that the color of her skin was getting back to normal, from purple to white, and the mucous membranes of her mouth and eyes were returning to normal. He checked her pulse, and it had returned to its normal beating, as if by a miracle. She was alive. Tucker was relieved. For the first time, he was afraid of losing her. Oddly enough, the biggest fear in him was not to be arrested for murder, but have to live without her because she had become an obsession for him. She opened her eyes. She was so weak she could barely move for herself.

"I'm sorry, Emily…" He said to her.

She just stared at him, trying to remember what had just happened, and she was having a hard time still to fully recover her breath. He continued talking to her:

"I'm sorry, Emily, I promise I will never do this again. C'mon, I'm going to help you."

He carried her in his arms and took her to the old hot tub. He put her in there, very carefully, and turned on the faucet with hot water. After all, she was in a mix of vomit, blood and the waste of seizures that she had had. He helped her wash her body and her hair. Emily was shaking in cold. After the bath, he took her from the hot tub and dried her body and her hair with the towel, and took her to the bed. He dressed her in flannel pajamas since she was freezing.

Emily quickly laid her head on the pillow, covering her body with the blanket. Tucker went to the kitchen, and then he came back with a cup of tea for her, saying:

"Emi, here, try to drink this. It will help you feel better."

He helped Emily to sit on the bed and helped her drink the tea. She handed the cup to him, and went back to try to get some sleep. Tucker barely slept that night. He was really worried about her.

* * *

A week after this event, almost everything was back to normal. Emily was using much less drugs, and she was also consuming less alcohol. She had begun to take better care of the house, and she was also cooking the food that Tucker liked. It was as if she had found an automatic method of living, until the time for her to go meet her family in heaven arrived. From zero to one hundred, you could tell she was five percent better. There was still a long road ahead. She hadn't even considered the possibility of returning to the home she shared with Mick and Alyssa. Considering the fact that Emily was doing everything right and the way Tucker wanted, there were no more beatings, at least for now.

* * *

It was a Wednesday. Tucker had just left for work. It was about 1.30 pm, Emily decided to call Reid. He was working on a case, and the moment she called, the whole team was reviewing the case in the police station. He retreated to a corner of the room to be able to talk in peace, and immediately answered his cell phone:

"Hey, what a nice surprise."

"Hi, spencer."

"Hey." He doesn't want to say her name because he didn't want anyone on the team know that she was kind of starting to allow him to help her a little.

"I'm sorry if you are busy."

"Yeah, kind of, but I can talk."

Reid was kind of stuttering on the phone with her. For the first time in his life he had lost his words. He had his back to the team so no one could 'read' his reactions while he was talking, and no one on the team had any idea who he was talking to. He spoke to Emily, holding the phone with one hand, and playing with the curtain with the other one. He was kind of nervous too.

"I just wanted to hear a friendly voice…" Emily said.

"How are you doing?" Reid quickly asked.

"Ah, I feel like I have to breathe."

"Oh, it's good to breathe. We change the air from our lungs, and thus, we can take out the heavy and dark air for a new fresh air."

"It was good to hear your voice, Spencer. I'm going to let you work now. I can feel through the phone the heavy look from Hotch, just staring at you, waiting for you to come back to them, and the case, with your genius brain."

"Yeah, unfortunately, you are right."

"Okay, then…"

"Hey, as soon as I finish here and come back to DC, I'll give you a call."

"I prefer to call you back, or you can call me from one to ten pm."

"Okay, I will. And until then, I'm happy that I can breathe, so I can wait for this."

He heard her smile as he said this.

Reid joined the rest of the team, and it was clear everyone was looking at him because they were waiting for him to finish reviewing the case.

Derek was the first to tease Reid, saying:

"What is it? Pretty Boy, you are blushing! It was a female, am I right? I know that look…"

"I know Reid usually get excited about something that has to do with some special statistic that you just discovered, but I have a strong feeling it has more to do with an actual person with this look you have…" Rossi said.

"Spencer, you can tell me. I will gladly give you my worldly advise and experience. I am so happy for you because you deserve to be happy after all you have been through. Good things always happen to good people like you…"

"Okay, super power brain, who is it? Give me the name and all the details, so I can do a complete computer check on her because I want to make sure no one will hurt my genius. I have to protect you to make sure she does not take advantage of you and hurt you."

"Whoa, Baby girl, a mother bear protecting her baby cub. Look at you. Just relax baby girl…" Derek said.

Well, that was enough for the boss. Hotch said:

"Okay, okay, I need everyone to focus now."

After the whole team reviewed the case, Hotch paired them and they went out of the police station to investigate the case, but before Hotch could leave, he said to Reid:

"Reid, I am pleased to know that you are able to try and move on. I know it's not easy, but these are necessary steps needed to be able to feel again, and get back to a rhythm of peace of the mind and heart…"

Reid just smiled at his boss. In fact, he himself was not able to understand why his coworkers and friends were reacting that way. Was he too obvious on the phone? How come the others realized things that even he didn't know he was feeling? Of course he was surrounded by the best profilers in the world, but he himself was totally caught by surprise.

* * *

That same night, Reid was paired with Morgan conducting the interviews of relatives of the victims. That case was really difficult. They were interviewing a woman whose husband was the prime suspect of the case, and he was gone since the day FBI had come to town to investigate.

"Mrs. Klarkson, when was the last time you saw your husband?" Reid asked.

"A couple of days ago."

"What was the last thing you two talked about?" Morgan asked.

"We had a big discussion."

"What was the discussion about?" Reid asked.

The woman scowled at the two, as if it was a private matter.

"Mrs. Klarkson, your husband is suspected of murdering five women in the last two months! We need to know everything, please…" Morgan said.

"It was because he didn't want a divorce. He doesn't want to sign the papers. He didn't want to leave home."

"And when did you ask for the divorce?" Reid asked.

"A couple of months ago."

Reid and Morgan exchanged glances. That was the trigger.

"What are these wounds on your arms and face?" Morgan asked me.

"He used to hit me." The woman began to cry. "I come from a broken home. My parents were drug addicts. I really wanted to go out and build a family to me. For a long time, he was my safe haven. He was always everything I had, even with the beatings, but he got so much more violent now that I'm afraid… I lost four babies! And the children I had, they have to watch all of this, and this is not fair to them…"

Morgan glanced to Reid, and saw that Reid had tears in his eyes. Morgan then said to the woman:

"Mrs. Klarkson, you are in danger. We think you are the main target of your husband, and he will return to try to reach his goal… So, you are going to let a team of local police watch you at your home 24 hours a day. Anything, please, give us a call…"

Morgan handed a personal card to her.

"Okay, thank you.'

Reid and Morgan left the woman's house. Outside the house, Reid hurried towards the SUV, passenger side. Morgan was surprised at his reaction. Morgan entered the car, and asked:

"What is the problem?"

Without looking at Morgan, he answered:

"The problem? Five women killed seems good enough!"

"Reid, I've never seen you cry on a case, unless by Maeve, because you were personally and emotionally involved. Then, spit it out!"

Reid was now breathless, feeling suffocated, so he climbed out again and took a few quick steps away from the car. He stopped near the house next door, leaning his hand on a tree. Morgan, of course, went after him.

"Reid, Reid. It's me, Morgan. How many times have we vented with one another? Please, you can trust me. You're white as a sheet, and suffocating. You need to vent…"

Reid then looked at Morgan with a kind of fire in his eyes, and said:

"I'm completely sure we'll get to catch this guy and arrest him so that he never hurt anyone again. I'm sure we'll get to prevent this woman to be killed, and I'm sure we'll manage to save her, and also these children. And we will be engaged in many more cases like this, and we will save a lot more people, and so I ask you, and this question is consuming my soul now, why can't we save ourselves? Each other? I mean, Emily is suffering at the hands of a thug bully, suffering humiliation and beatings every single day, and we all know this, and pretend not to know, and worst: pretend it's okay."

"Reid… It was her choice…"

"Wow, and am I supposed to feel better knowing this? As I know how empty she feels because her losses and I know what she needs the most is a real help."

"Reid, I tried! I tried several times to help her! She never let me..."

"This is killing me, Derek… this is killing me…" Reid walked fast to the SUV.

The two men got in to the car again. Morgan said:

"If you find a way to help her, Reid… You can count on me, because I tried so hard, so many times and I never succeeded…"

* * *

Same time at Tucker's house. They were having dinner, peacefully. Emily washed the dishes later, and Tucker was watching some TV. She went to take a shower and sleep, she could not sleep. Tucker went after her. She had barely gotten into bed when he entered the bedroom. Within minutes, he was making love to her. She was just there, without moving, as he was making all the movements. She closed her eyes and she smiled to the first person that came to her mind: Reid. She remembered how many times Reid had confessed to her about his troubles. She remembered when they were taken hostage by Cyrus, and them touching each other hands on the plane, and that exchange of glances. Traveling in time, inside her mind, Tucker was finished with his "service". Emily went to take another shower.

She got out of the shower and went to bed again. Tucker was waiting for her. They were in bed, and after a little while in silence, Tucker asked her:

"That day in the bar, the day we met each other, would you get involved with any other man that would've approached you?"

Emily was thinking a little before answering.

"I don't know. Probably…" she said.

"So, this does not make me anything special to you?"

She stayed quiet. Tucker was sitting now on the bed, and Emily sat too. He wanted to look at her while they were talking. Emily did not want to hurt him, but she had to be honest. She said:

"At that time, no one could be special to me, Tuck…"

"Please, tell me what happened to you…"

She pulled her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees, and began to speak:

"I suffered some losses in my life that I just don't want to talk about, I'm not ready for this. When you said you had lost your little girl, somehow I feel that…. I don't know what I felt… but in that moment you won me…"

"Emily, do you really think I won you?"

She shrugged, and said: "I'm here, aren't I?

"Your body is here… not you…"

Now, she looked at him and said:

"It's not enough for you?"

"No, this is not enough for me. I want to own your heart. When I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I ever met. I thought if I could get you to fall in love with me, it would do a lot for my ego. I suffered so much pain and suffered so much with my empty life that I thought this would boost my ego and spirit…"

"Do you really know what love is, Tuck?"

"Do you think I'm incapable to feel love?"

"I don't know, but I can certainly say that the side of you that I know is completely unable to feel love."

"I show you the side of me that you wanted to see, that you were in need to have… I fought with my guns to keep you here."

Emily just looked at him, to read his eyes. He continued saying:

"But we can start over again, I promise to show you my other side…"

She was still just looking at him.

"I want you to marry me…"

* * *

**And now: Will Emily accept his proposal? What do you think? Please comment! Thank you!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I OWN NOTHING**

* * *

"Emily, do you really think I won you?"

She shrugged her shoulders, and said: "I'm here, aren't I?

"Your body is here… not you…"

Now, she looked at him and said:

"My body is not enough for you?"

"No. This is not enough for me. I want to own your heart too. When I first saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I ever met, despite all the sadness I could see in your eyes. I thought if I could get you to fall in love with me, it would do a lot for my ego. I suffered so much pain and suffered so much with my empty life that I thought this would boost my ego and spirit…"

"Do you really know what love is, Tuck?"

"Why? Do you think I'm incapable to feel love?"

"I don't know, but I can certainly say that the side of you that I know is completely unable to feel love..."

"I show you the side of me that you wanted to see; that you were in need to have… I fought with my guns to keep you here. I'm not stupid, Emily, it was clear to me that you needed to get lost to be able to find yourself again. It was clear that you wanted to get into a destructible relationship. So that's what I offered to you. But Emily, if I am or am not able to feel love, or something like that, I certainly am feeling something for you…"

Emily just looked at him to read his eyes. He continued saying:

"We can start over again. I promise to show you my other side…"

She was still just looking at him. He said, then:

"I want you to marry me…"

Wow. Emily was not expecting that. She was kind of paralyzed. Motionless. And he was looking at her, waiting for her answer. Only then did she realize it was actually a proposal for real. She opened her mouth a little, just thinking about something to say while her mouth was trying to say something, but nothing was coming out. Then she bit her lip. Finally, she said:

"Tucker, I…. I don't know what to say… I…. I never expected this…"

"Please, Emily… I want you to marry me. We can start over. I promise you will never have to go back to your old life and I'm going to help you all the way."

"I need some time to think… please…just a few days…"

"Okay, I can do this…"

* * *

The next day, at about ten o'clock in the morning (it was the time that they used to wake up) Emily went to the kitchen to make breakfast for them. Tucker went to the bathroom, but he took Emily's cell phone with him. Inside the bathroom, he searched the phone number of Reid, and all of the other members of the BAU that he could remember the name of. He blocked incoming calls from those numbers so none of them could call her. He thought it would help in her decision to marry him. After all, if she had no one she could count on, she would be even more alone with him. And that was exactly what he wanted.

He was already ready to work now, they had just had breakfast and Emily was washing the dishes in the sink, he hugged her from behind, and kissed her neck, saying:

"We are going to be happy again, Emily. I promise you…I'm going to leave earlier than usual today, because I want to buy you a ring…"

She turned to face him, they were very close now. She said:

"No, Tuck, no… you should wait for my answer… Don't do this yet, please…"

"I will wait, Em, but I want to buy you a ring…" He was caressing her face with his finger.

And she did that thing again. She bit her lip and ran her tongue over it. And he did not resist. He kissed her passionately. The kiss was a little different than usual. He was just kissing her passionately, and not trying to eat her entire jaw, including the mouth. She kissed him back, and it brought a different feeling to her, more bad than good. But she did not stop to think about it now. She just kissed him back. After a little while he went away.

Emily picked up her cell phone, which Tucker had left in the same place, and she called Reid. He was still working on the same case from yesterday. But the very moment that Emily had called him, they were in a position to attack the suspect. Reid just felt his cell phone vibrate inside his pocket, but he could not answer because he was pointing the gun at the suspect. Across the line, Emily gave up trying. She left a message in the mailbox for him:

"Hmmm, Hey, Spencer, It's me, I know you must be busy, but call me if you can, okay. Bye."

After a long time they freed the hostages and arrested the suspect. In the police station, Reid heard the message that Emily had left for him and decided to call her. But the phone call was not completed. He thought it was strange, but as they were already going to the plane to return to Quantico, he decided to call her when he was at home with more freedom and without a lot of profilers to control him.

Arriving at the BAU, Reid tried to call her again, but nothing. He was ready to go home when JJ brought a new urgent case to all of them. Reid said:

"It can't wait until tomorrow?

Everyone looked at him.

"Hey, pretty boy, you just stole my sentence." Morgan joked.

"No, it can't wait. Wheels up now. We discuss it on the jet…"

"Hotch, I can't go." Reid begged.

Hotch just stared at him and said:

"I need you on this case, Reid."

Well, no option for Reid. He had to go, but before he could step on the plane, he tried again to call Emily and nothing. It was already night.

* * *

Same day, 10.30 at night, Tucker came home from work. They had dinner together. After dinner in the TV room, he took the ring from his pocket and said to her:

"Emily, I know there are times when you think I do not care about you because my irrational and violent behavior and the verbal and physical abuse I used give to you, but this is so far from the truth. I am battling inner demons very similar to you. I bought this ring to show how committed I am to you, and I want to marry you, and make it all up to you, and treat you right this time to show how much I can love and care about you."

"Tucker, this took me totally by surprise, and it's all very moving what you are saying. I appreciate this, but I need time because I have not fully moved on from my inner demons, the same type of demons you said you are struggling with right now. Please, give me a little time. I will give you an answer shortly. I really love this ring you bought and thank you for it. I saw you as a connection because of our similar losses, and there are times when you do help me."

"Okay, Emily, take all the time you need. I know I can be very forceful with you, and I only show you my very dark and bad side. I want to change and treat you the way you deserve, and the way you should be loved. I do not want to force things with you anymore like I always did in the past. No pressure on you for once. Just think about it carefully. I know we can be happy together as husband and wife."

He put the ring on her ring finger, on the right hand.

* * *

The next three days, Tucker was just waiting for her answer patiently. Reid and the team were working on a case in California, very far away from Quantico, and he was trying to call her repeatedly without success. What he didn't know was that Tucker had blocked his phone number so she would not receive his phone calls. He was getting worried that something had happened to her so he asked Morgan to borrow his cell instead. He tried to call her using Morgan's phone, but without success either since Tucker had blocked his number too.

"Reid, you can go to her place as soon as we're back in Quantico…"

"I know, Morgan, it's just… It's strange. She left me a message."

"Hmmm, she left you a message?" Morgan was kind of messing with him.

"This is serious, Morgan, I'm trying to help a friend." Reid was really worried.

"Relax, Reid. Maybe she just can't talk right now. You can try again later."

* * *

The next day, at night, as they had been working for three days straight, and had amended one case after another, Hotch allowed the team to get a night's rest at the hotel. Reid had tried calling her for a long time in his hotel bedroom and texting her, but nothing. She didn't answer the messages, and she didn't answer the phone. He then decided to call from the hotel. It was nine o'clock at night in California, and midnight in Quantico. By Reid's calculations, Tucker was home, but he tried to call anyways. He was desperate to talk to her. So, thinking that it could have been a problem with his cell phone, he used the hotel phone to call her.

As Emily and Tucker always woke up late every day, because he just had to go to work in the afternoon, they also used to go to sleep very late at night. Tucker and Emily were watching TV, peacefully, while she was waiting for the washing machine to finish its job. As soon as the noise from the machine stopped, she went to the laundry room to hang the clothes. Just when she'd left, her phone started to vibrate. Tucker noticed it and answered the phone. It was Reid.

"Okay, Weed Girl, what do you want? A girl's night out with Emily? She is busy now; leave her alone. She does not need you and her old life. She is starting a new story and a new page with me, thus creating a new life. She does not need painful reminders of her old life and you, little girl, go find yourself another playmate. Emily is going to marry me so you can understand why I would object to another man wanting to get into the pants of my future wife. Don't you realize she does not want to talk to you? How many times in the past days did you try to call her and she never answer? So buzz off, we're going to have the wedding soon and you are not invited…"

Tucker hung up on Reid. Reid was sitting on the hotel bed because the landline was on the headboard. Realizing that Tucker had hung up on him he got up from the bed and started hyperventilating, walking fast from one side to the other. Rubbing his sweaty hands in one another, and his genius brain thinking nonstop, but nothing was popping up in his mind, no brilliant ideas to try to prevent Emily to marry that man. A thousand questions bubbling in his mind: did she want it? Did she want to be saved? Did she want to marry him? What could he do to try to prevent it? He didn't think he was good enough to try to prevent it. He didn't think he deserved her. He didn't know what he felt for her. The IQ above 180 was not adding anything now. He was thinking nonstop and he was having a really hard time sleeping that night.

Exactly the same time in Quantico, Emily and Tucker were in bed. He was making love to her. He was making love to her because he was starting to feel something deeper for her. It was an obsession that was deepening, but for Emily the totally loveless sex had become some kind of gym, something automatic and mechanical, without any transcendence, without anything divine. For her it had nothing to do with feeling, much less love. It was just like filling a void. Considering that sex was a kind of complicity they were accomplices in doing wrong things; in suffering. Emily looked at it as a kind of survival. At that moment, for her, sex and love was not dependent on each other to happen, but it was a way to survive. Wild sex, irrational fights, rude love… It was all a matter of survival for her soul. She was addicted to that. She had seen in Reid a kind of chance for salvation because Reid was a figure that was beyond everything, beyond physical interest. It was a connection of souls, but he had simply disappeared. She knew the BAU schedule very well, but hey: not even a phone call? Not a text message? She had no idea what Tucker had done with her cell phone. She was thinking Reid was not giving a damn about her anymore. And the sadness and depression was growing larger inside her. She felt that she needed Tucker.

* * *

The next day, Reid had not slept anything. It was a Friday, ten in the morning in California and one in the afternoon in Quantico. Tucker had gone to work. Emily had gone to try to distract herself a bit, waiting for a phone call from Reid. She was walking through the mall when she decided to call him again. Reid was at that time in the police station using the glass whiteboard to explain the case to the policemen who they were helping with the case. His cell phone was on the table, vibrating nonstop, but everything seemed to conspire against another. So he again didn't realize it. He did not answer. She tried again and he didn't answer. Later he saw the missed calls from her. He tried to call back, but once again failed.

Emily then walked around the mall for a while and decided to leave. Arriving at her house, it was about five o'clock in Quantico, and two in the afternoon in California. Emily decided she would give the answer to Tucker. But before this she decided one last try with Reid. She decided to send a text message to him:

_"Spencer, it's me once again, please stop me."_

He texted back to her: _"Stop what, Emily? I've been trying to call you like crazy…"_

She didn't receive his message this time either. So he got no answers again. He tried again:

_"Emily, please… just answer me back..."_

No answer again. He tried to call and nothing again so Reid just took a drastic decision. He said to Hotch:

"I need to go back to Quantico…"

"What? Reid, I need you here!"

"I can't… I'm sorry… I can't focus. I need to go back, now!"

"Reid, what is this about?"

"I can't tell you right now. I can't breathe until I get back to Quantico… I'm so sorry, Hotch…"

Reid disappeared from the police station. Hotch stood there blankly. Reid had never abandoned a case that way, in the middle of it.

* * *

Reid arrived at the nearest airport at about three in the afternoon, but the next flight to DC would only leave five o'clock in the afternoon. He had to wait over two hours to take off. In the meantime, his phone's battery died. He tried to send messages through a computer available at the airport. He hated computers, but he tried in vain, too, since he had to identify his number. It was only for him to pray that the flight would leave soon, and as soon as he arrived at Quantico he would go straight to her house. At five o'clock in the afternoon in the city of California, Reid was embarking to find Emily at her house.

* * *

In Quantico it was ten-thirty now. Reid had been on the plane for two and a half hours now and still had four hours to go. Emily was lying on the sofa. She had thought much about every little thing that had happened for the last few months; she was a total mix of feelings now. She was tired of waiting for Reid. Once she realized that Tucker was unlocking the door, coming home from work, she whispered to herself:

"Forgive me, Mick…"

She got up quickly from the couch, placing both hands in the back pockets of his jeans, and told Tucker:

"I agree…"

He smiled, not believing his ears. She repeated:

"I agree to marry you…"

He hugged her, and said, looking at her:

"So, let's do it now."

"What?"

"Let's go to Vegas and get married since I have the whole weekend off."

* * *

**OMG ! Will Reid be able still to stop this? What do you think? Comment please... THANK YOU!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing**

* * *

In Quantico it was 10.30 now. Reid had been on the plane for two and a half hours now and still had four hours to go. Emily was lying on the sofa. She had thought much about every little thing that had happened for the last few months; she was a total mix of feelings. She was tired of waiting for Reid. Once she realized that Tucker was unlocking the door, coming home from work, she whispered to herself:

"Forgive me, Mick…"

She got up quickly from the couch, placing both hands in the back pockets of her jeans, and told Tucker:

"I agree…"

He smiled, not believing his ears. She repeated:

"I agree to marry you…"

He hugged her, and said, smiling at her:

"So, let's do it now."

"What?" She frowned. She was not expecting this would be so soon.

"Let's go to Vegas and get married since I have the whole weekend off."

"Tuck… but… I think we need some time to…"

Still hugging her he said to her:

"You don't have a family, I don't have a family… You don't have close friends, neither do I, so I think the best option is that we travel right now and enjoy a weekend in Vegas!"

"But you worked all day long. Don't you think you need some rest first?"

"No, love, we are going now…Go pack our stuff while I eat something, then we go…"

She never thought it would be so soon. She was not sure of anything, how the everything would be from the wedding. The only certainty she had was that she did not want to have to come back to her old house that she had destroyed. Also, she was very sad since Reid had not called her back even once.

Tucker ate the food she had left ready on the stove. He went to the bedroom, and she finished packing things for their small and sudden trip. He grabbed her by the arm, and hugged her, saying:

"We'll be very happy, my love. I promise you. I don't know what happened to you, but I promise to erase everything that you've been through that made you so miserable. We will have a new life from our wedding. I know you don't love me, but that will change. I'm going to do everything I can to conquer your love…"

He kissed her on the mouth. For her, it was a sacrifice that time to return the kiss, but she did.

* * *

At the same time, Reid was still inside the plane, wishing he had superpowers to go out the window of the plane and fly by himself, as fast as he could.

Less than an hour later, Emily and Tucker were going to the closest airport to catch a flight to Vegas.

"This will be an adventure, my love!" He said looking at her while he was driving. She just looked at him, smiling sadly.

At the airport, with each step that Emily took toward the plane it seemed as if her heart would stop beating. She felt like she was enveloped inside a kind of bubble that was taking her to where the fate wanted. It was as if she didn't have control of her life and steps anymore. And she did not even remember when she had lost track of this herself.

Emily and Tucker positioned themselves in the seats in the plane. Emily looked through the window on the outside of the plane. People were coming and going with bags and she tried to think of where they were going because the last thing she wanted to think about now was about herself and her situation.

Amidst the crowd of people who were landing, there were two running feet accelerated, not seeing anything ahead.

The plane where Emily and Tucker were was ready to take off. After the initial warnings, and when the plane was taking off, Tucker placed his hand over hers. They looked at each other.

Reid ran out of the airport, took a cab, and headed toward the house where Emily and Tucker lived.

* * *

During the long trip to Vegas, Tucker positioned Emily's head on his shoulders.

Reid arrived at Emily's house. He saw that all the lights in the house were off from the outside. The taxi driver said:

"You want me to wait?"

"No, thank you."

He paid the taxi and rang the bell. He waited. No answer. He rang the bell again. No answer. After fifteen minutes of waiting, he decided to jump the small wall, and knocked on the door, calling out to her:

"Emily? Emily!"

He pounded the palm of his hand on the door and screamed for her for nearly half an hour, but no sound came from the inside of the house. It was dawn, but he knew that they used to go to sleep late. Anyway, he got tired of calling. He sat on the steps of the door, and lowered his head and began to cry. It was not a cry of despair. It was a cry of disappointment and sadness. He decided to stay there and wait for them to come home. He had no idea they would spend days out of the house.

In fact, although he wanted to help Emily too, all that crying still had a lot to do with the loss of the love of his life, Maeve. After half an hour, sitting on Emily and Tucker's doorstep, head down, crying, disheveled hair because of the drizzle, he raised his head to have a vision that surprised him: it was Maeve, coming from the gate towards to him.

He was paralyzed at that sight. She was flawless: beautiful and perfect as an angel. He was sweaty, wet by the rain, shaggy hair, but she was flawless. She took only a few steps towards him, and stood in front of him, who was sitting on the doorstep still. He did not dare to try to touch her. He knew he could not. He was just looking at her and absorbing the peace she was bringing to him. After a little while, she said to him:

"I know we will be together some day, Spencer, but you have to make the best of your life on earth right now. You have to be happy and at the same time help a dear friend in Emily. You two will help each other on this earth. She needs your help from a destructive path she is taking with a devil that she is getting married to. She is only getting married to him because there was a huge misunderstanding between you and her because of the manipulative devil Tucker. I will wait for you, Spencer, in an eternity, as I know Emily's family will wait for her too, but all of this depends on the steps you two will take here. You are on the right way, Spencer, but she is not. My love is so deep for you that I know you have this important mission to help and save her. So, do this Spencer. No matter what, you will have my blessing and God's help…"

"Where is she now?" He managed to say.

Maeve looked at the dark sky. Reid looked at the dark sky too, copying her movement. When he looked down again, she was no longer there. He got up quickly, looking for her, and said:

"Hey, Maeve? Where is she? Where is she? You said she is getting married…"

Well, Maeve had looked at the sky. She knew Emily was in a plane now, flying to Vegas to do the worst choice of her life, but Reid knew nothing about it. He stayed there for one hour more and then went to home.

* * *

Emily and Tucker arrived in Las Vegas. It was almost morning. It was Saturday. They went to a bum hotel, because Tucker could not afford an expensive place for them to stay.

"Let's rest a little bit before we go out to buy a dress for you. And then let's look for a chapel to get married. It could be the same as Elvis, and I know that Bon Jovi was married there too, but it is the most expensive chapel, so we'll have to choose another one..."

"That's okay, Tuck… Let's just get this over with. It doesn't matter where we get married and I don't want a wedding dress, it's just a formality to get this process going. Anything is fine with me…"

The furniture of the hotel room was very old. The wardrobe door was broken, the bathroom had no door and the carpet was stained from who knows from what. They lay down on the hotel bed. The sheets of the bed smelled bad, but they did not care. As the trip had been very long and tiring, they soon fell asleep.

* * *

It was close to noon, on Saturday. They were still in bed when Emily woke up screaming with a nightmare that was very real for her.

"NOOOOOOOO, PLEASEEEEEEE, NOOOOOOO, DON'T KILL HER! DON'T KILL MY DAUGHTER, PLEASE, DON'T! DON'T KILL MY BABY GIRL! DON'T KILL MY BABY!"

Tucker wake a little scared:

"What the fuck? Emily! Emily! Wake up! You are dreaming! Wake up!"

Emily woke up and got into a sitting position on the bed. Tucker asked her:

"So, this is it? You lost your daughter?"

She did not know what to say. She did not want to tell him. She said:

"It was just a nightmare."

"Emily, look at you… You are devastated, white as paper…"

"Tucker, I don't want to talk about this right now. It's still so painful that I need to bury it and talking about it will not help me. It's a nightmare that I have to live with for the rest of my life. I will tell you someday, but I need to forget it for now and not talk about it. Can you understand?" She had tears in her eyes.

For the first time, Tucker really felt sorry for her. He hugged her tightly, saying:

"Okay, I totally understand. I'm here, I'm going to protect you. You don't have to worry, okay? You don't have to tell me anything…"

"Tucker, I need you to hurt me, you know... I need you to hurt me bad because I need all the pain to try to erase this pain that I can't stand anymore… please…"

Tucker hugged her tight against his chest, and Emily cried a lot grabbing him.

* * *

They went to a coffee at a bakery nearby because the hotel was very dirty. At the bakery:

"Tucker, you shouldn't have spent your money on this trip."

"That's okay, love, we deserve it. The most expensive were the tickets, and I still saved some money for us to have fun in casinos after the wedding..."

* * *

Tucker left, leaving Emily alone in the hotel. Once alone in the hotel room, she grabbed her cell phone to call Reid, but for a second she stopped to think, and she gave up. She knew she had gone too far. She ordered a bottle of whiskey for her. After drinking almost a whole bottle, she was stretched out on the bed. After two hours of being out, Tucker returned to the hotel room. He found Emily stretched on the bed. He sat on the bed next to her, and shook her gently, calling for her:

"Hey, Em, look what I brought for us…"

Seeing the whiskey bottle on the ground, he said:

"You were smarter, huh? You do not waste any time, huh girl?"

Emily just stared at him. She was confused because she had drunk too much alcohol. Tucker had brought two more bottles of whiskey, and a plastic bag. He said:

"Look, my love, I bought this dress for you…" He showed the dress for her.

It was a white dress, but made in this hippie style. It didn't even resemble a wedding dress. Emily said, trying to regain consciousness:

"It's beautiful…"

Tucker opened the bottle of whiskey, and drank at one time nearly half the bottle. After that, he joined Emily in bed. He said to her, close to her face:

"You and this innocent drunk way drives me crazy!"

He grabbed her very tightly, kissing her on the mouth, jaw, tongue, jaw, neck. And as he was also already too high, he almost raped her forcefully.

She was kind of motionless. She was like a robot now, just a body without a soul or heart. She found a point on the ceiling to concentrate on, and she was looking only at that fixed point, until she got distracted by something not very nice, but at that point, she did not care anymore. It was a cockroach that was climbing the wall. Emily was just following the cockroach's way with her eyes, while Tucker was fucking her hard.

After a long time, he came, and said to her:

"I'm going to sleep a little and then we go out to get married…"

He turned and slept. Emily went to take a shower. In a very short time, she was curled up on the bathroom floor, and she was crying too much now, her tears mingled with the cold water in the shower. She was now in a complete desperation, in a complete mix of sadness, mourning, guilt, feelings of worthlessness, emptiness, miserable, a total loss of interest in anything, and breathing had become a very difficult task for her. The bathroom had no door, but Tucker did not notice her despair. He was snoring loudly on the bed. After a long time, it was raining outside and Emily went to bed again.

* * *

About seven o'clock at night, Tucker woke up and called for Emily, they got ready for the night. She was dressed in her white dress with denim jacket over it, because it was cold, and brown boots. Tucker dressed in jeans and a nice shirt too, and they went looking for a chapel for them to get married. Outside the hotel:

"Whose car is this?" She asked him.

"I rented it for us to get married."

He said and opened the door for her to enter. It was an old red convertible car. She said:

"Tucker, you don't need to do anything more like spending too much money. I don't need anything more. I can't take any more surprises, you've done enough already…"

Emily just wanted to get this all over with. She was in an emotional turmoil now.

Tucker was driving around town a bit. Emily was just looking around. Of course she had been there many times, with the BAU team for a case, but she had never stopped to notice anything. The only thing she could think and remember now was the inconsistencies of life, because of all the cities, that one was the one which most reminded her of whom? Reid! Tucker was talking nonstop: about how happy he was, about how they would be happy, about how the city was beautiful, and how the trip was fun, etc. etc. etc, but Emily could barely hear what he was talking about, such was her absence of herself.

After driving for about half an hour through the city, Tucker parked in front of one of those wedding chapels. They got out of the car and Tucker went to give the documents and to make the payment. It was one of the cheaper chapels for this kind of marriage.

While he was making the payment, Emily took her cell phone and texted Reid, saying:

"Please, Reid, why don't you call me? Why don't you answer my calls or messages? You have just one minute to stop me!"

* * *

Reid was sitting on the sofa, in his home, when his cell phone beeped with the message. He thought she was answering one of the dozens of messages he had left to her before, which she never even received. He read the message she had just sent and tried desperately to call her. He had no idea what she was talking about, because he was quite out of himself, but he was a genius after all. He gathered the pieces in his head. Maeve said she was going to get married. When Reid asked where Emily was, Maeve looked at the sky, which could mean plane. And Emily said in the message: just a minute to stop me? Stop what? His reasoning went fast. And he found out: she was getting married. Where could the marriage be so fast? It could only be in Vegas! He cursed himself, since he was nearby the day before. And during the time it took for him to think of all this, Emily and Tucker got married and left the chapel. Tucker said to her:

"You're mine from now on!"

From the chapel, they went straight to a casino to have fun and drink. They drank a lot, and played, and won and lost. Tucker was having a great time. He was near the counter taking another drink for him and Emily, when he looked at her from afar and a man who was talking to her; a man that had come from out of the blue. She was trying to dodge the man. But without success:

"Please, my husband is right there…"

"I do not believe you have a husband, baby!"

"He is right there in the bar, please…"

The cheeky man then put his hand into the Emily's waistband. Tucker left the drinks on the counter and walked angrily toward them. He pulled the man's shoulder, the man turned to him and Tucker hit him, punching him in the eye. The man fell to the ground. Tucker leaned over the man to continue beating him. Emily said:

"Stop, Tucker, please. Stop"

Everyone stopped to watch the fight until the security of the casino came to pull them out.

Emily and Tucker got into the car. She said:

"You did not have to do that! He was doing nothing!"

"I SAW HIM PUTTING HIS HANDS ON YOUR ASS! Unless you liked it, bitch!"

They went to the hotel and Tucker raped her during all night practically. On Sunday, they woke up late and went straight to the airport to go home.

* * *

At Quantico, the team of Aaron Hotchner had finally settled the case in California. Morgan went for a visit to Reid. He had estranged the fact that Reid had dropped the case in the middle. He rang the bell and Reid opened the door for him to enter.

"What happened, Reid?"

"Personal problems…"

"Reid, look at you, you are devastated as the same day Maeve died… is this about her? Are you kind of having a regression? This is pretty normal, Reid, but you have to talk…"

"This is not about her… kind of…"

Morgan looked at him, raising his eyebrow in a questioning expression. Reid said:

"I came to help Emily. She texted me that I have to come to save her! But I couldn't…"

Reid now got up from the couch and started to walk from one side to another in the room, saying:

"I could not help her. She said I had to save her and I came, but I didn't have enough time…"

"Why? What happened to her? Where is she now?" Morgan started to worry too.

Reid looked at him and said:

"They got married…"

"What are you saying? She and that son of a bitch?"

Reid was shedding tears, he said:

"I couldn't stop her… I couldn't help her… She asked me to, but I couldn't…"

"Reid, it was her choice. There is nothing you can do…"

"I know how she feels. She asked me because she knows I can understand her…"

"I'm here to help you… in anything…"

"Thanks Derek, but I don't think there is something you or me can do right now. It's already too late…"

"By the way, we caught the guy…"

Morgan was referring to the case in California that Reid had left in the middle. Reid said, poking his own nails:

"I bet you guys would…"

They talked some more and the company of Morgan had calmed Reid down a bit. Before Morgan left, Reid asked him:

"Please, Tell Hotch I'm going to work tomorrow, just afternoon, okay?"

"Okay…" Morgan smiled to him and left.

* * *

On Monday, Reid waited for Tucker to go to work and went to his house to talk to Emily. Not that he was afraid of Tucker, but he wanted to talk to her alone. He wanted to clear everything out with her, at ease, with no one to disturb them. He rang the bell and waited. It was around two on Monday, in the afternoon. Emily pulled the curtain to see who it was. She saw the figure of Reid standing there on the other side of the small wall, but she was really hurt with him. Why the hell hadn't he called her back even once or answered any messages from her? And now he just appears there, after she got married to the devil in person. In her mind, it was too late. She just stood there, watching him through the curtain, with a couple of tears falling down her face.

* * *

**Hi guys! Thanks for the comments. Well, I don't know if Emily will "forgive" Reid, because in her head, it was like Reid gave up on her. Let me know what you think, please! Thank you, guys! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Hiii Guys... how are you doing? I missed you all... I hope everyone is okay.**

**As always, I own nothing.**

**This chapter is almost entire cute, so enjoy!**

* * *

On Monday, Reid waited for Tucker to go to work and went to his house to talk to Emily. Not that he was afraid of Tucker, but he wanted to talk to her alone. He wanted to clear everything out with her, at ease, with no one to disturb them. He rang the bell and waited. It was around two on Monday, in the afternoon. Emily pulled the curtain to see who it was. She saw the figure of Reid standing there on the other side of the small wall, but she was really hurt with him. Why the hell hadn't he called her back even once or answered any messages from her? And now he just appeared there, after she got married to the devil in person. In her mind, it was too late. She just stood there, watching him through the curtain, with a couple of tears falling down her face.

She was not sure she would open the door for him, so she waited a little longer to see if he gave up trying, and walked away. But Reid did not give up. He rang the bell and waited. He saw Emily behind the curtain and waved at her, shyly. Thus, there was no reason to not open the door for him to enter. She opened the door. He smiled sheepishly at her, and for Emily, he seemed much taller than he really was. He looked like a giant to her, and she could not look at him; she could not face him. She opened the door a little more, and he could finally enter her house. She closed the door. Reid finally said:

"Emily, where've you been? I tried to call you like a zillion times…"

Emily walked up close to him. So far, she had her hand in her jeans' pocket. She said to him gently:

"Sit..."

And she herself sat on the couch, looking at her own hands, which was now out of her pockets. Reid sat down beside her on the same couch. She sat with her back pressed against the couch, but Reid sat in a way so he could look at her. The first thing he saw was the wedding ring on her left hand.

Automatically, as if by impulse, he touched her hands. Slowly their eyes met. Still holding her hands, he said:

"You got married ..."

She looked down. It was more of a statement, a sad realization. She looked at him again with sad eyes. She had a giant knot in her throat that was almost preventing her from speaking. She said to him:

"Why didn't you stop me?"

Reid was despaired now. He began to speak non-stop, his hands began to sweat:

"Emily, I tried! I swear! I called you several times! I sent several messages! You never answered. I thought it was a something wrong with my phone, so I tried Morgan's phone, and nothing. I called you from the Hotel in California but Tucker answered your phone. He told me you did not answer the phone on purpose, so I got sad and disappointed, but, even so, I kept trying, Emily, I swear! I dropped the case in the middle…"

Emily looked at him now. Wow, he had dropped the case for her! She thought. He kept talking:

"…I dropped the case, Emily, and took the first flight here, but you were not home. I stayed and sat by your door for hours…and nothing…I soon assumed you had gone to Vegas to get married…"

Pleading, almost in pain, Reid said:

"Why didn't you answer my calls, Emily? I called you a zillion times…"

"I didn't see your calls, Spence…"

"Here…"

Reid showed all the calls he had tried to make to her on his cell phone. She frowned and said:

"I never got these calls…"

"Let me see your phone..." He asked her.

Emily handed her cell phone to him. Reid accessed the list of blocked numbers. He looked at her and said:

"He blocked all of our numbers… All your friends' numbers…"

Emily bit her lip, but she showed very little surprise regarding this attitude of Tucker. Reid said again:

"Emily, he blocked our calls!"

"What do you want me to do, Spence? What do you want me to say?"

"Show some reaction… You are not like this, Emily! You are a strong woman. Show that strong woman you've always been!"

"Spence, I thought you didn't care about me anymore when I heard no response or anything from you. So I married him even if I knew it was a mistake, because I really felt I had no choice anymore. I'm totally lost, but I feel like I need him, you know? He's the only one who succeeded with making me forget who I was before. All the pain he made me feel helps me forget my real pain, Spence… I need him…" She sadly told him.

"No, you don't, Emily! You don't need him for anything… You need your real friends that truly love you!"

Reid was talking and Emily was looking down all the time. He said now:

"Look at me, Emily…"

"You can't avoid what happened, unfortunately. You can't erase it and pretend it never happened, and the longer you delay facing that fact, it will be more and more painful. You have to accept what happened and face it… And now you are just making everything worse for you because of all the beauty and magic and good moments that you have with your family, you just remember about the day they died. You are stuck in that unique and single moment that tragedy happened. But try to remember all the happy moments you had with your family, and think that they are now in heaven, in God's arms, Emily. They are not like when you saw then for the last time, and I'm completely sure you are going to see them again, just like I'm sure I'm going to meet Maeve as well, but until there we have to live, Emily. And you are killing yourself and you know it. I will not let this happen…"

Tears in her eyes, she asked him:

"Why do you care?"

Without breaking eye contact, he said:

"Because I love you…"

Emily watched the reactions on his face, and she could see a pure and true sincerity in his eyes. But she still wasn't interested in knowing what kind of love it was: Brotherly love? Friend? Reid was not sure what kind of love it was either.

"Let me help you…" He begged.

"Spence, Tucker is a very dangerous man. I can't just cancel the marriage and go away from him. He would find me in hell…"

"He can't keep you hostage here if you don't want to…"

Lost in her own world and thoughts, she rose from the couch and walked to the window looking out, her back to him, thinking. Reid stood up and walked over to her, but she didn't notice. After some time thinking, she turned suddenly and he was just standing in front of her, very close, their bodies were almost touching each other. Emily raised her eyes to meet his. Reid's mouth was half open, causing Emily to repeat the movement and automatically opened her mouth a little too. She could feel the warm air coming from his nose when he exhaled. He touched her lips with his own lips. Reid's next move was to gently hug her with one of his hands on her back and the other at her waist. While she only placed both of her hands on his shoulders. Until then, only their lips were touching, and mouths slightly opened. Where it came from or where it would lead, neither of them knew. They were only giving each other a try. At the same time, they closed their eyes to feel. Their lips were intertwined, like pressed on each other, smoothly. Reid wanted to taste more of that, of that feeling, of that taste, so he licked the interior parts of her lips lightly, slowly exploring her lips in a slight movement, waiting for a simple invitation from her to deepen the kiss. Feeling the tip of his tongue, dancing gently inside of her mouth, on her lips, she automatically opened her mouth a little more, and that was the invitation that he was looking for. Still very gently, but with a little more determination, Reid touched her tongue with his, gently sucking it, and they surrendered to that magical moment. For a minute, everything else had ceased to exist. And for a while, they were kissing, eyes closed, in the biggest moment of intimacy that two people can share.

As if by a curse, Emily returned to herself. She, who had both hands on his shoulders, sort of pushed him, breaking the kiss, walking away from him, and saying:

"I can't! This is wrong, Spence!"

He went to face her again and said:

"No, Emily, no! This is not wrong! Wrong is what you are doing to yourself! To your life! Think, Emily! We can go through this together! I can use your help too. I know exactly how you feel. I succumbed to drugs too, as you know. I know this is not the answer, and I know you know that too…"

"It doesn't matter, Spence… I just want to forget!" She said crying.

"But you can't forget this, Emily. You know you can't. They are a part of you forever, especially Alyssa, and you doing drugs and alcohol is just two minutes, or five, or ten, and then, all the pain are back again and you have to face it. There is no way drugs can help, Emily. It's a palliative way because at the end of the day your pain is still there, and you inflicting more pain to yourself is a way to die, and you're killing yourself. You can't see Alyssa and Mick again if you continue like this…"

"Stop saying their names, Spence, it hurts!" She was at the brink of despair now.

"No, Emily, they are a part of you forever. You can't just erase them. I know you want to erase that day, but by erasing that day, you will erase them too, and you know you can't do that. You know it's impossible. Alyssa is an angel now… Don't you feel her presence, Emily? She can be here in this same moment that we're talking to each other. Do you think she's happy? I bet Mick can see you too. How do you think he feels seeing you being hit and raped again and again…"

"Stop, Spence… STOP!"

She was now sitting on the couch again, head completely down, almost between her own legs and her hands were covering her ears as if she didn't want to listen to anything more. Reid sat beside her and hugged her:

"I'm sorry, but you need to get in touch with your reality, Emily…There is no way you can survive and overcome this if you don't face it. There is no shortcut… But I'm going to be there with you, all the time…"

She looked at him now and said:

"What am I going to do now?"

"I'm going to help you, Emily. First, you have to annul the wedding… We have to travel and cancel the marriage, while there's still time…"

"I can't do that, Spence. We just got married… Tucker is going to kill me. If it was just me, okay, but he will go after you and I can't watch him hurting you…"

He took her hands again and said:

"We're gonna find a way. You just have to let me in…let me help you…"

She didn't want to think now, she was jaded. He hugged her again and said:

"We'll find a way…"

"Thank you, Spencer…"

He held her chin and said:

"No! You don't have to thank me! Like I said before: I love you! And I'm going to hell to help you…"

They stayed for several more minutes, just hugging each other, and then Reid's cell started to ring. Still hugging Emily, he answered the phone:

"Hey, JJ…"

"Spencer, where are you? Hotch is just waiting for you so we can go. He's still pissed because you dropped the case in California, so stay prepared…"

"I had personal issues to deal with. They are the priority in my life now…"

"Something I can help with?"

"No, JJ, thanks. It's a matter of life for me…"

"Okay, Spence, just hurry up… We're waiting…"

"Okay, see you in a few minutes…"

Emily was the first to get up from the couch. Then, Reid. He said:

"I have to go to work…"

"Yeah, I could guess that…"

They walked to the door. Reid hugged her tight this time. She was feeling safe now for the first time in such a long time. She felt like she really had someone who worried and cared about her. Still hugging, but facing her now, he said:

"Emily, life doesn't stop because of our pain. I know this from my own experience. People don't care, the world run the same way. It's sad, but I promise: you will never feel alone again. Don't do anything for now, even with the blocked numbers. Let's think about something. I'll come to see you again, okay?"

"Okay…"

He kissed her on the forehead and then on her lips. It was not a fast kiss; it lasted almost a minute, just a kiss on the lips.

Emily was now quiet, and she had decided not to confront Tucker about him blocking the calls, to not provoke him and make him go crazy. She didn't want that now. Also, she was totally confused and had mixed feelings about what to do right now. She was thinking of a way to get out of this marriage, and this situation, without him getting too upset and going crazy, but on the other hand, she knew Tucker was totally insane. A few hours later, Tucker came home from work.

Emily gave him dinner. She waited for him to finish it and washed the dishes. He was now watching some soccer game on TV. He asked her to get a beer for him. She handed the beer to him and said:

"I'm not feeling good so I think I'm going to sleep now…"

He just looked at her. She was afraid of him now, but he only said:

"Good night, love…"

And she vanished from there before he could regret it. About midnight, he went to sleep, but he was too horny. He wanted to have sex. Emily was sleeping and was waken by a hand trying to get into her panties. She said:

"Tuck, please... Like I said before, I'm not feeling good. I have a terrible headache…"

"Oh, I'm sorry for you, love, but you are my wife now. I pay for you and your addictions, and the minimum that I ask is dinner and clothes washed, and you barely know how to do this well so I have to enjoy you in what you are better..."

He kissed her on her mouth, like those wild kisses he usually gave her. And in a very short time he had the whole weight of his body over hers, both completely naked and he fucked her hard for a long time. Emily was shedding tears. Normally, during sex with him, she tried to move to another place, and focus on something else, and it was as if it was not her body that was there. But this time she remained there the entire time and tears were inevitable for her. He was whispering to her while he was thrusting harder inside her:

"Oh, Emily, these tears make me even more horny, you know… Cry for me, babe, cry for me…"

She remembered Reid asking her if she thought Mick was happy seeing her being raped and beaten, and she imagined Mick there in the bedroom, looking at her. She cried even more. After he came, he left her, and turned around to sleep. Emily went to the bathroom quickly. She turned on the shower and sat on the floor under the water, and let the water fall on her body for a long time, mingling with the tears. She was hating herself now. Before the talk with Reid, it was as if she could not feel anymore, like she had no feelings, but now she was able to 'feel'. And the first feeling she felt was the hatred of herself. After a long time, when she returned to the bedroom, he was already snoring.

The next day, about eleven o'clock in the morning, Tucker woke up, showered and took the breakfast that Emily had prepared for him. Shortly before one o'clock, he went to work. Half an hour after left, Emily took some bags to put the few belongings that she had there. She didn't want to leave clues for him since he didn't know where she lived before. She was distracted, quickly putting things in bags to run away, when she heard a voice:

"What are you doing, Emily?"

* * *

**Huh... Emily was not expecting this person... who it was? yes... it is him! And... this is not going to be good...**


	12. Chapter 12

**I OWN NOTHING**

* * *

The next day, about eleven o'clock in the morning, Tucker woke up, showered and ate the breakfast that Emily had prepared for him. Shortly before one o'clock, he went to work. Half an hour after he left, Emily took some bags to put the few belongings that she had there. She didn't want to leave clues for him since he didn't know where she lived before. She was distracted, quickly putting things in bags. She had decided that she had to run away, and then ask for the divorce. Suddenly, she heard a voice:

"What are you doing, Emily?"

She wilted like a flower in acid.

"Oh, nothing…I was just…" She sad.

She had only a small bag in her hands, but she could say anything to deceive him. Unfortunately anything she said would not work because the fright that she had of him being there and that he surprised her running away was so big that he could see her face flushing, sweat forming on her forehead, accelerated breathing, dry mouth, and he could almost hear her heart pounding. Faced with all these evidence that she was lying, it was fatal for her. He approached her and said:

"You liar!"

He took the bag from her hands and turned it upside down, letting all her things fall on the bed. It had her papers, documents, their wedding certificate, some keys, personal items. Everything was spread out over the bed. She said:

"I was just going out for a walk. I can't leave the house now?" She protested.

"Do not lie to me, bitch!"

He slapped her face.

"I don't have time for this now, but we'll deal with it later…" he said, carrying her by the arm to the head of the bed that was made of iron, as he took the handcuffs in the back of his pants.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"What do you think I'm going to do, you ungrateful whore and bitch? I have to teach you a lesson you will never forget. For all the things I did for you, you repay me by betraying me, and you were just going to leave me without a word. I was going to come up home to an empty house after work! You have to understand that you will never leave me, Emily. You are my wife now, and it is your duty to obey me. I'm going to show you right now that you can never ever disobey me ever again…"

He put the cuffs on both her hands, and the loose part of the handcuff (the middle) was behind the iron bed in a way that it stuck there. She cried a lot saying:

"No, Tucker, no, please, you don't have to do this… please…"

He got up and went away from her. She screamed:

"Tucker, don't! Don't leave me here, please! Come back! Please, you don't have to do to this! PLEASE, COME BACK! HEEELLLP!"

He approached her again. He bent down to talk to her, close to her face. She, for one second, thought he was going to release her.

"I have one more thing for you that may fit perfectly on your pretty face…" he said.

He went to the kitchen and came back with a big gray roll of tape on his hands. With the scissors he cut a big piece of the tape and bent down to face her again. She begged, crying:

"No, Tucker, don't, please…"

"YOU asked for this…" He said.

When he was about to place the tape on her mouth, she tried to avoid it, turning her face. He grabbed her face by the chin, strongly and placed the tape on her mouth, so she couldn't scream in case someone appeared there, or some neighbor would listen. He gave a little slap on her face, saying:

"Now I know you're going to behave yourself, and we're going to deal with what you did later…"

Tucker went to work and left Emily there handcuffed in bed, crying a lot. She would be practically the whole day without food and water. It was only 1.30pm, Tucker would return after 10 o'clock at night.

* * *

Reid had gone there to talk to Emily on Monday and this happened the next day, on Tuesday. The team had gone to a case on Monday, with luck and efficiency they managed to solve the case soon. So, on Tuesday, they were already back to Quantico. Reid left the BAU and went straight to Emily's house, so he could see her before Tucker got home. Well, at least that was his thinking. It was around seven in the evening. He saw that Tucker's car was not in the garage so he rang the bell, and waited. He rang the bell again and waited, but nothing. It was all dark inside the house. He got a little worried, so he jumped the small wall and knock on the door calling for her:

"Emily?" he knocked on the door. "….Are you there? Emily?"

Inside the house, Emily and Tucker's bedroom was right next to the living room, so she could clearly hear Reid's voice calling for her.

She moved with her body to try to make some noise, and she moaned even with tape on mouth, but the sound was too low for Reid to hear and she was already really weak. She also scraped the iron handcuffs on the bed, but Reid couldn't hear because he was outside the house, and there were cars and buses passing by him. They lived on a busy street. He could not hear anything. He tried a little more, and went away, still worried, thinking that she or they had to have gone somewhere.

Realizing that Reid had gone away, Emily was crying and thinking: God, I know that it was me who put myself in that situation. I know that this is all my fault, in that day that I destroyed my house and went to that bar. I know it's my fault that I got involved with him. I started drinking and doing drugs, but, please, God, I need another chance. Help me to get rid of this hell I put myself in. Help me, God, because I really want to meet my daughter again. I promise to do things right from now on. I just want to leave this house, please…and also… protect Spence…

Emily lay there praying and talking to God for a long time. This kind of calmed her.

* * *

Later that night, Tucker came home. It was about 10.30pm. He went to the bedroom to release Emily. He bent down and took the tape off of her mouth. Her eyes were a bit puffy from crying, but she was calm. She just looked at him, apprehensive about what would be his next move. He also took off the handcuffs from her. It was difficult for her to regain the movement in her arms again. Because she had been held with her arms up in a difficult position, it hurt when it started to return to normal. Tucker said to her:

"I'm hungry, go prepare my dinner…"

She got up on the floor beside the bed, leaning on the bed, and went to the kitchen. Tucker confiscated her cell phone, and also the house keys and put locks on the windows. All the keys were inside the pocket of his jeans. He ordered a beer and she came with it for him in the living room while he was sitting on the couch, watching TV, with both feet on the coffee table. She went to the kitchen again to finish preparing dinner.

The two had dinner in silence. Emily managed to eat very little, even though she was really hungry. She really wanted to talk to him, clear things out, get a divorce and leave the house without major problems, but she looked at him, and she knew that it was something that was impossible. Maybe he would kill her. So she decided to wait for an opportunity to get out of there, and then file for divorce.

After dinner, he went back to watching TV, and she washed the dishes and went to the bathroom. She wanted to take a bath. When she left the bathroom and entered the bedroom, she was only wrapped in towel, wearing only panties underneath. She came face to face with him standing in the doorway, as if he had been waiting for her, but he was not alone. He had his nightstick in his hands. Her heart came up her throat, her eyes widened and her mouth opened.

She tried to go back to the bathroom. but she couldn't lock the door, and he was much, much stronger than her. Pushing using only one hand, he opened the bathroom door and pulled her from there, dragging her to the bedroom, by her hair. He pulled the towel so that she was only in panties now. Holding her hair, he threw her on the bed. Emily cringed just trying to protect her breasts and part of her body. And Tucker began beating her with the nightstick, saying:

"You will learn to never disrespect me again. You will learn that you belong to me now, and can not act behind my back!"

He was beating and beating her. She refused to cry or scream or beg now. She tried to stay quiet. With each hit, she felt a grip in her stomach and on each bludgeon she was taking, it looked like her sensible skin was tearing. He beat her on the legs, arms, back, everywhere on her body that he could. She was curled up in bed like a ball. After he had beaten her for some time, she could feel the blood flowing, especially on her back.

When he was tired of beating her, he stopped. He returned to the living room without saying anything. He opened a bottle of whiskey and started drinking the whole thing. Emily stayed there in bed, paralyzed. She couldn't move. She was feeling pain, a lot of pain. She could barely breathe because the pain was so bad.

* * *

The next day, before going to work, he handcuffed Emily again and put tape on her mouth. She was too weak to argue. She just let him act because she couldn't deal with such force from him. It was already Wednesday. The team was working on a case in Texas. Reid was very worried about Emily. He wanted to hear from her, but he couldn't call her. He was doing his best to concentrate and focus on the case, and help the team. Hotch realized he was squinting, and those were the signs of his terrible headaches. It was only the two of them from the team who were in the police station at that time. Hotch asked him:

"Headaches again?"

Reid was trying to decipher a map, searching for the location of the UNSUB. He just raised his eyes to meet Hotch, saying:

"Yeah, kinda…"

"Reid… Are you having any problems?"

"No, no problems…" He lied to Hotchner.

"Reid, I've been watching you since you dropped that case and with the headaches. So, what is the problem?"

"A small problem… Like if I had an elephant stuck in my throat…"

Hotch relaxed the expression on his face, and said:

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know if I should…" Reid had a terrible headache right now. He could barely keep his eyes opened to look at Hotch.

"Talk can help…" Hotch said.

"Emily… I know she's in trouble. I know she's in danger. I know you're going to say that this was her choice in the first place and that she could have faced it in other ways, but I can see her with other eyes. I can feel her pain. I can totally understand her and all senses. I can't find a way to take her out of the house…"

"Does she want to?"

"In order to forget what happened and ease her pain, she completely emptied herself, her thoughts, her soul, her heart, being drugged and drunk all the time, but now... I think she's starting to feel again. I think she's almost ready to face what happened to her, but I can't find a way to do this…to actually help her…"

"Reid, if you need any help from the team, if she really needs some help from us, please, you just let me know…"

"Thanks, Hotch… it really means a lot…"

* * *

That same Wednesday, Tucker came home from work. Emily had to make him dinner. After dinner, he hit her in exactly the same way as the day before. And the same happened the day after that too. On Friday, before going to work, he handcuffed her and put tape on her mouth and left.

* * *

Finally, on the same Friday, the team solved the case and returned to Quantico. Around six o'clock, they came to the BAU, and Reid left to go straight to Emily's house.

The same thing happened this day. He rang the bell and nothing, he knocked on the door and nothing, he screamed her name and nothing. Inside the house, she could hear his voice calling her, but there was nothing she could do. The anguish was growing inside him. Where could she be? The worst had already started crossing his mind. He was sweating on the forehead and hands, and was banging her door and yelling:

"Emily! Emily!"

The house was dark inside, Tucker had left all the lights in the house off. It was also a form of punishment for her. Also because, when he went to work, it was still daylight. Reid kept yelling her name and knocking on the door:

"Emily! Emily!"

She started to cry a lot, just hearing his voice. She was thinking: Spence, please… help me.

Thinking she was not there, Reid went away to his place. He had terrible headache now.

* * *

In his place, he was pacing the living room one side to another, not knowing what to do, thinking and thinking. His IQ of 187 was now for nothing… He had a strong headache.

* * *

Tucker came home and they had the same routine. She made some dinner and he drunk a lot. She was in the bedroom and he was watching some TV. She was lying on her side in bed because her back was aching a lot, because of the open wounds. She had many wounds all over her body, but the most painful ones were on the back. She had also wounds on her face, because when he was beating her with his nightstick, she turned suddenly and he hit her in the face and the eyes, so that her face was a little deformed. He was taking too long to go to bed, it was already after midnight so Emily was thinking that maybe today he wouldn't beat her. She was very weak, very thin, very hurt, with open wounds all over her body.

After half an hour more, he came to the bedroom. She curled her body and he said to her:

"You don't need to do this my love. I'm going to give you a present today, a truce in your punishment…"

She just looked at him, and when he took of all his clothes and approached her in bed, she said:

"Tuck, please, I can't, my back is hurt, please…"

"Hmm, it sounds even more great, because since you can't have your back to the bed, you can turn face down, and I'll be able to explore your beautiful ass…"

"Tuck, please…"

"C'mon, Emily, I don't want to have to hurt you even more… I want another kind of pleasure now…"

It didn't take long before Emily had her backs to him, and he was fucking her in the ass, pushing hard. She was only shedding tears. He was just fucking her in the ass for so long, until he came, and pulled out of her, and turned to sleep. Emily couldn't even move now because of the pain. She couldn't even go to the bathroom.

* * *

Next day, Saturday, Tucker wouldn't go to work, but he had to leave in the morning to buy stuff for the house, especially drinks and cigarettes. So he handcuffed Emily and put tape on her mouth and left.

Around nine o'clock in the morning, Reid was knocking on the door again. He saw that Tucker's car was not there. He was knocking on the door for half an hour and nothing. He decided to wait as long as he needed for them to arrive so he could at least see Emily, even if it was from afar. He crossed the street and got into his car, and waited for Tucker's car to appear. Meanwhile, he was just observing the house, if it had any sounds or movements inside the house, but he couldn't see anything. About an hour later, Tucker was parking his car in the garage. Tucker got out of the car and opened the trunk to get the things that he had bought. Reid could see that Emily wasn't with him so he got out of his car, very quickly and crossed the street, approaching Tucker. Tucker just looked at Reid. He had not expected that. Reid faced him, asking:

"Where is Emily?"

* * *

**Reid was kinda brave now! Emily's hero. I don't know yet if he is going to be able to save Emily now... What do you think? Let me know, just a few seconds to review. Thank you!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I OWN NOTHING**

Next day, Saturday, Tucker wouldn't go to work, but he had to leave in the morning to buy stuff for the house, especially drinks and cigarettes. So he handcuffed Emily and put tape on her mouth and left.

Around nine o'clock in the morning, Reid was knocking on the door again. He saw that Tucker's car was not there. He was knocking on the door for half an hour and nothing. He decided to wait as long as he needed for them to arrive so he could at least see Emily, even if it was from afar. He crossed the street and got into his car, and waited for Tucker's car to appear. Meanwhile, he was just observing the house, if it had any sounds or movements inside the house, but he couldn't see or hear anything. About an hour later, Tucker was parking his car in the garage. Tucker got out of the car and opened the trunk to get the things that he had bought. Reid could see that Emily wasn't with him so he got out of his car, very quickly and crossed the street, approaching Tucker. Tucker just looked at Reid. He was not expecting that. Reid faced him, asking:

"Where is Emily?"

"Get out of my place… you do not have permission to be here…"

"The street is public!"

"But you are in my garden, in my garage..." Tucker closed the trunk of the car, pounding, and finished the sentence. "and I did not invite you to come…"

"I can come up with an warrant…"

"Be my guest… Now, get out!"

"Where is Emily?"

By this time, Tucker was already walking to the front door of the house. He turned to Reid to say:

"I should not even tell you this, but that ungrateful bitch is gone…"

Tucker climbed the four steps to the entrance area of the house and began to unlock the door for him to enter. Reid said:

"How so? Gone? When?"

Tucker laughed sarcastically and said:

"She left me a note saying she was leaving. She said no more, and to be honest, I was tired of that addicted bitch. She was not for anything but good sex…"

Tucker slammed the door, leaving Reid alone in the garden, speechless. Inside the house, Tucker was very pissed off. He went to the bedroom where Emily was handcuffed to the bed with tape on her mouth. He approached her, and the fear was growing in her eyes. He said:

"You bitch! How many times have I said I do not want your friends here on my doorstep! Now you will suffer the consequences! Maybe so you learn once and for all to obey me!"

He took the belt from his pants and began beating her with it. Emily was like a rag on the bed. She was full of wounds already because she had been hit so much lately. She had no strength to even moan anymore. She had a piece of tape on her mouth so she could not even speak, or scream. She now regretted having some kind of rapprochement with Reid. She feared for him now.

Well, although Reid did not believe Tucker that much, it was clear that he would start to look for Emily everywhere, and the first address was the former home of Emily. The house she lived in with Mick and Alyssa.

Once there, he noticed that everything was locked, windows and doors. He decided to call Morgan:

"Hey, Morgan…Are you busy?"

"Huh, it's Saturday, pretty boy… What do you need?"

"I'm here at Emily's… I think she's inside the house, but the door is locked…"

"What do you need?"

"Hmm, I don't know, maybe a second opinion…"

"What do you see there?"

"Hmm, there are lots of letters on the ground in front of the door, and old newspapers all over the garden…"

"So, Reid, it seems like she hasn't been there for a long time…"

"Yeah, but the way to the door is clean, possibly because someone has entered the house…"

"Leaving the letters out?" Morgan pointed.

"Well, Morgan, if she doesn't want to live anymore, why would she worry about old correspondences or newspapers?"

"Yeah… you have a point, Reid… How do you know she left that bastard?"

"I've been looking for her there for a week and nothing… And today I talked to him. He said she's gone…"

"Do you think he's telling the truth?"

"Hmmm… I really don't know… I couldn't 'read' him straight, but the last time I was with her, she seemed tempted to leave him but also she was really depressed, so I'm really worried…"

"Do you think she is capable to commit suicide?"

"I think yes…"

"Oh, no, Reid, C'mon, we're talking about Emily here…"

"Yeah, the Emily you think you know. Everyone has thought about it at least once."

"Well, not me…Have you?"

"That isn't the point, Morgan. I think I'm going to break into the house…"

"Reid, wait, I'm on my way… Give me twenty minutes and I'll be there… Don't break into the house without me…"

At Tucker's house, after he had hit Emily a lot, Tucker said to her:

"I'm going to release you now. You have lots to do in the kitchen. You are going to store everything I bought, and make lunch and clean the entire house. This house is a mess, just like you…"

Emily could barely get out of bed, but right now she had no other alternative but to obey him. And that was what she did.

Twenty minutes later, Morgan arrived at Emily's place. Reid was in the garden, sitting on a step, waiting for him. They both had their guns, but they thought it was not necessary to invade the house with them drawn. Morgan said:

"How are we going to do this?"

"I don't know. What do you think? I tried the door, but it looks heavy…"

"Let me try…"

Morgan tried three times to break the door, but it was really heavy and a strong door. He said:

"Oh, wait, we don't have to do this and ruin the door. I have my master key in the car so we can try to open it…"

After a little while, they managed to open the door, without any damage to the door. Though inside the house, wow, there was a lot of damage. They were paralyzed, such a big destruction. It looked like a hurricane had passed inside the house. They looked at each other and Morgan said to Reid, but it was more a finding for himself:

"How could we have miss all of this?"

A little restless now, Reid answered:

"Too focused on ourselves to see it…"

"It looks like she's not here, Reid…"

"I'm going to check upstairs…" Reid said.

"Okay, I'm going to check the rest of the house here downstairs…"

Reid and Morgan looked for her at each corner of the house. The downstairs part of the house was completely destroyed, Morgan could not believe what he was seeing, everything was broken, the kitchen, the laundry room, the hallway, the living room and dining room. He could feel a bit of the despair and madness that Emily was feeling when she was doing that, and his heart weighed. Same time, upstairs, totally on the contrary, everything seemed flawless, untouched. It was as if she had not gone there since the day the tragedy happened. Everything was in its place, but he felt a strange chill through his body to enter the bedroom of Alyssa. Everything was in place, as if the girl would still be back there, someday. The white furniture, the pink bedspread, the princess frames on the walls, the dresser with handle of a bear. All linens and clothes were clean inside the wardrobe. He couldn't even stay for a long time in there. It was a very strange feeling, as if he could not breathe. He quickly got out of there, finding Morgan downstairs, sitting on the edge of the couch, just staring, dumbfounded. Reid joined him, sitting in the armchair. Before speaking with Morgan, Reid pressed his lips, swallowing hard, dry mouth. He told Morgan:

"How bad is the damage in the rest of the house?"

Looking down, to the debris on the floor, sadly, Morgan answered:

"Terrible…" He looked at Reid now. "She destroyed the house…"

Reid swallowed hard again. He said, more to himself than to Morgan:

"I'm really angry at myself right now…"

"Oh, Reid, hey, c'mon, this is not our fault…"

As if he was not listening to what Morgan was saying, he kept with his reasoning:

"Can you imagine her pain while she was doing this… destroying the house…Feeling all alone…"

"Reid, we tried… you remember… she did not want us here…"

"We should have forced her, Morgan, because we know when people refuse help is when they need it the most, and we just gave up on her…"

"Where do you think she is?"

"I have no idea…"

"You were the last person to be with her after that son of a bitch…"

Looking down, poking his nails, remembering the last meeting with her, remembering the kiss, he said:

"Yeah…"

Morgan was now in a kind of cognitive interview:

"What did you guys talk about?"

Reid remembered every single detail about that day, including the touch of their hands, the taste of her kiss, and the pain in her eyes. Morgan insisted:

"Reid?"

Pressing his dry lips again, Reid said:

"I made some regular visits to her and the last one was last Monday…"

"What did you guys talk about?"

"We talked about how difficult it was for us to talk by phone. Then we found out that Tucker had blocked all of our phone numbers on her cell phone, and I could see by her wounds how she is suffering by his beatings… And if he blocked all our calls it's because he wants to keep her hostage…"

"Reid, she wanted this…"

Reid had tears in eyes. He looked to Morgan again and said:

"I couldn't stop her… She asked me, she begged me and… I… couldn't make…"

"Stop what?"

Reid just looked at Morgan. He was not sure if he should tell him everything about Emily's life, about the kiss, and their feeling for each other, because he himself was very confused about this too. Morgan said, then:

"Reid, in order to be capable of helping Emily, you have to say the maximum of information that you have…"

Reid just spit the words out, without looking at Morgan, without even waiting for him to finish talking, just staring at his own hands:

"Stop the wedding…"

Morgan was really fucking surprised now:

"WHAT?"

"They got married in Vegas…"

Morgan now got up from the couch and passing both hands on his bald head, in a kind of despair.

"Reid, you're not going to tell me that she was forced to do this, right?!"

"Morgan, you don't understand! I was the one that could have stopped her from doing this, and I failed…"

"No, you didn't! Don't blame yourself! Look, I love Emily too, as a dear friend, a partner that I had for years! But, Reid, all of this was her choice! While she had all of us, she chose to run away and fall in his arms! She chose this destructive path for her! She chose this cruel fate that she is living now if I want to help her to get out of there? Yes, of course I do! But she being there now is not my fault, and it's not your fault either…"

"No, it isn't, because all that she wanted was to die and meet her family… She did not fall in his arms to escape from us. She fell in his arms to die, to be dead, and she failed to do this… but now, I know she wants help…she needs help…"

"Reid, if we put our heads together we can figure this out together, where Emily is. This fucker is so devious to block her cell phone calls from all of us. He is willing to do anything to keep her away from us. I have a sick feeling that he might be keeping her against her will. Let's work together to find her. I kind of feel guilty too because I failed with her family, not getting there in time to save her husband and her baby girl. I will not fail with her again. Let's do this, let's tell the team the first hour on Monday. I'm sure Hotch will let us work on this in parallel to the other cases…"

"Do you think she is hostage there?"

"I'm sure he is completely capable of this… Is there something else that you want to share?"

Reid looked at Morgan, and sighed. Morgan could see something more, beyond the friendship, but he felt Reid was not ready to tell anything. So he just, placed his hand on Reid's back, and said:

"C'mon, kid, let's go. We will find her…"

Closing the door, Morgan said:

"And the first thing we have to do to help her is sending a team of cleaners and repairmen to this house…"

Many hours later, around seven o'clock in the evening: Emily was exhausted. She had already cleaned the whole house, washed the bathroom, the kitchen, tidied the whole house. The whole house was locked and the keys were in Tucker's pocket, as always. She started to prepare dinner. She opened the silverware drawer to get a knife to cut the onions and garlic. She found a big knife in the bottom of the drawer. She had already seen that knife there, but it had never crossed her mind before. Well, she left the knife there, for now, and she took a smaller knife to cut the vegetables. Before starting to prepare dinner, she went to her bedroom to get something to hold her hair. She was coming back to the kitchen and she saw Tucker. He had his back turned to her, sitting in the same chair as ever, with his feet up, in front of the old TV. Something caught the attention of Emily: he was snoring, in other words: he was sleeping soundly.

The first thought that crossed her mind was trying to get the keys and run away, but that idea went away quickly because she knew he would wake up in the moment she touched him. She gave up trying to get the keys, and returned to the kitchen. Quickly, without thinking, she grabbed the big knife in her hands again. She thought if she killed him, it would be self-defense because she was being held prisoner against her will, in addition, she was being beaten and raped constantly.

She looked at the knife in her hand, and slowly walked to the TV room. She could still hear the noise of his snoring. She took a few steps closer to him. Tucker was practically lying in the chair, and his neck was slumped to the side, and his mouth was slightly opened, and he was still snoring. In front of him now, Emily just stared at him. It would be very easy for her now to stab the knife in his stomach, or fatally in the neck. But she couldn't, she just couldn't. Not because she was no longer the brave agent she used to be, but because of all the evil that he was inflicting to her. She could only remember the day he reached his hand for her, there in the bar, on the day they met. She still felt that it was like he was saving her from her old life, and she still felt grateful for this. She looked up, to prevent the tears from falling, and hurried back to the kitchen. Now, she felt that she did want to leave, but she did not want to hurt him. She thought that if someone had to be dead to get out of this situation, it had to be her. Not him. She made the dinner and called him to eat. After the dinner, she was washing the dishes and he said to her:

"Now, love, you go take a good shower and I meet you in the bed in about an hour…"

Just hearing this, Emily's eyes watered. Lucky for her, she had her back to Tucker. He went to the TV room, and she finished dealing with the dishes.

Emily was sitting on the bathroom floor, under de shower, hugging her own legs, resting her chin on her knees, just thinking, and her thought was Spencer Reid: the touch of their hands, the taste of the kiss, and 'what was that damned desire to be with him?' She wondered. But she was abruptly taken out of her thoughts, by Tucker, who opened the bathroom door violently, saying:

"You behaved almost perfectly today. I hope I don't have to rip you out off this shower by the hair! I'm waiting here in bed…"

She felt like a cow going to slaughter, with the advantage that the cow would die later, and she wouldn't. For Emily, for all the abuse she was suffering lately on the last few months, the worst was the rape. She preferred a thousand times to be beaten until she bled out, to have her soul raped by nasty words, and by having to feel him inside her, it was more than her body could handle. It felt like an invasion in her soul. He made her feel sick about herself. But, as he never cared about her, he raped her for the big part of the night, because he had slept a big part of the day.

Long time after, Tucker was now sleeping, and Emily was just thinking. She was too sick and tired to sleep. She was lying on her side in bed, her back to him, just listening to Tucker rumbling. Suddenly, she looked to the nightstand, and she saw the hair clip. It was by the moonlight coming through the crack in the window that made it catch her attention. She suddenly frowned, and had an idea. Then she got up very gently. She took the little hair clip in her hands, and was now just standing in her bedroom, just watching if Tucker would realize that she was no longer in bed. After about five minutes, Tucker was still snoring, so she left the bedroom and she went to the exit of the house to try to open the door, using the hair clip. The house was in completely silence, only the crickets chirping outside could be heard. Emily's lips trembled because of the nervousness. She was not able to open the door, but she was still trying quietly, when she heard:

"Where are you crawling to, my little mosquito? You will never fly away from me. I will step on you and squash you like the bug you are before I let that happen, you will never escape from me, Emily. You will always need me even though you might not think so. You were a lost bug in the grass and I picked you up from a lost forest and saved you. This is how you to thank me?"

* * *

hmmm... poor Emily... Leave a comment, pliss, plisss, plisss... Thank you!


	14. Chapter 14

**Well, hi, how are you guys? I want to thank everyone for continuing to read this story, despite the darkness. I know it's hard to see our beloved Emily suffering like this, that much, but from now on, she will start to come out of the darkness, and I promise very cute moments between her and Spencer. I hope you enjoy a bit of history from now on. Thank you all again for reading… Enjoy the trip.**

**I own nothing**

* * *

In the middle of the night, just by the sounds of the crickets, Emily was trying to escape, using a hair clip, when she heard:

"Where are you crawling to, my little mosquito? You will never fly away from me. I will step on you and squash you like the bug you are before I let that happen. You will never escape from me, Emily. You will always need me even though you might not think so. You were a lost bug in the grass and I picked you up from a lost forest and saved you. This is how you to thank me?"

She turned quickly to look at him, with her back against the door. She was very scared now. She said:

"Tucker, you need to let me go, please. All of this has been a big mistake on my part. Our wedding was a big mistake, our marriage is a sham. Please Tucker, you know you can't keep me hostage here for much longer. So we both can get out of this situation in one piece, just please let me go…"

He approached her. She could see the hate in his eyes.

"There is only one way you can get out of this situation: dead! And I will be pleased to do this with my own hands…"

He grabbed her by the hair and dragged her into the bedroom. For the first time, she tried to fight back, but it was worse for her because it only got him even more nervous and angry at her. When she was tired of fighting back, he threw her on the floor and started to kick her thin and wounded body. Emily cringed and curled up like a ball. He said:

"I'm tired of teaching you how to obey me, you stupid bitch. I'm done with you for today. We finish this tomorrow…"

He grabbed her from the floor, and put her inside the wardrobe.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"For now you stay here, and tomorrow we deal with this…"

"Tucker, no, please… You can't leave me here, please… I won't be able to breathe…"

While Emily was begging, he had already locked the wardrobe. She started to bang on the wardrobe from the inside, screaming:

"Tucker, please, open it! I can't breathe in here…"

Tucker opened the wardrobe door. He grabbed her chin by force, saying very close to her face:

"Shut up! I want to sleep! You want me to put the tape on your beautiful mouth too?"

She stayed quiet this time. Tucker went back to sleep. He knew if she would try to escape, he would wake by the noise she would cause.

* * *

Next day, Sunday, was a repetition of Saturday for Emily and Tucker. Reid was very agitated. He wanted that Monday to come soon for him to speak to Hotch and the rest of the team about Emily's situation.

* * *

Reid was pacing by his desk. About twenty minutes later, he heard the sound of the elevator stopping at his floor. He immediately looked to see who was coming. Of course it was Hotch.

Hotch looked at him and frowned. He was always the first one there. He asked himself what Reid was doing there so early, and in the first two minutes, he could "read" how Reid was agitated and restless. Hotch said to him:

"Is everything okay?"

Totally unable to control his nervousness and anxiety, Reid started talking nonstop:

"Actually, no... I spent the whole weekend thinking and I'm pretty sure something really bad is happening, or already happened, to Emily. I spent the entire weekend trying to talk to her and nothing. The last time we spoke, she was really hurt, wounded all over her body, and Tucker had blocked all our phone calls. I also found out that they got married, but when I talked in person to him last Saturday, he said she was gone, which to me seems like a big lie since they just got married…"

"Reid, Reid… Stop…stop… okay… Let's wait for the team and talk about all these facts with everybody…"

He started to hyperventilate:

"I… I… I'm sorry. I just need to be certain that you will help me on this…"

"Of course I'll help you, and also, Emily is still a dear friend to all of us. The moment I'm sure she really wants our help, we are going to help her…"

"Thank you…" Reid said.

Hotch went to his office, and Reid went to the meeting room to wait for the rest of the team.

Gradually everyone was arriving, and soon the whole team was assembled there. Before Hotch came to join them, Rossi said to Reid:

"Reid, what's going on? I know that look of yours. It's the same look like when you're going to give us a ten hours speech about statistic on a certain topic. Spit it out, Reid. You look like you have ants in your pants…"

Reid just swallowed and said nothing. Everyone realized now how tough the situation was. Soon, Hotch entered the room:

"Good morning everyone. Before Penelope present our next case, we'll try to help a friend. Reid, please, tell us what you know. Slowly, please…"

Reid glanced at his profiler friends there, and started to speak:

"Since some time ago I have been visiting Emily a little frequently, and talked on the phone with her, almost every day. Sometimes more than two or three times a day, but during the last week, I couldn't talk to her, not even once because she didn't answer my phone calls or my messages, etc. The last time I could see her was last Monday. I arrived at the BAU around two in the afternoon, as you guys remember, because I was there with her. I had to wait until Tucker left for work to be able to enter the house. I had tried to talk to her all week without success so I just had to go there. That day we found out that he had blocked our cell phone numbers so if one of us would try to talk to her, we would not be able to do so. I also knew that they got married in Las Vegas…"

There were expressions of surprise from all of them.

Realizing that Reid's voice was beginning to fail, perhaps by the lumps that were beginning to form in his throat, Morgan started speaking too:

"On Saturday, Reid called me and we went to Emily's place where she used to live with Mick and Alyssa. The house was destroyed inside, and we could not see any trail that she might have been there recently. It would be impossible for her to enter the house…"

"What do you mean by destroyed?" Hotch asked.

"Well, Hotch, in some kind of crisis, complete despair, she broke the entire house… At least the downstairs…"

Looking at his hands, Reid said:

"Upstairs everything was impeccably perfect…."

Embarrassed by what he would say now, Morgan said:

"And there were lots of alcohol bottles all over the floor, empty bottles…"

Garcia said: "What? Married? Emily who was always like a sister that I never had, just like JJ, and she never told me? I know I would not like the idea of her marrying this guy as I heard from Derek that he treats her badly, but I wanted to be there for her… Spencer I'm not a profiler, but I can see by your sweating palms that you are perspiring everywhere like a human shower faucet leaking all over your body… Tell us everything…"

JJ's beautiful eyes were watering now, she said:

"It's clear that it was not a consensual wedding, Pen…"

Reid was thoughtful. He shrugged his eyes and said:

"I spent too much time on Saturday watching the house and all the windows had iron bars, including the door. I just realized that the house looks like some kind of prison…"

"Do you think he prepared it for her?" Morgan asked.

"No, I don't think so, it looks old…" Reid said:

"Reid, you are the last person who talked to her. What else should we know to be able to try to figure out where she is…"

"We talked about a way to make her escape from him first and then enter the legal procedure, but I told her to wait for me. I didn't have time…"

"So what makes you think she's no longer in there?" Rossi asked.

"Because I went there the whole weekend and stayed there screaming her name, banging on the door, after Tucker went to work, and nothing… And last Saturday I talked to him. He said that she left a note and that she's gone…"

"Gone? That doesn't make any sense. They just got married…" Rossi pointed.

JJ was very emotional. Of course she was already shedding tears. She said:

"We were there! We were there right before she destroyed the house! Me and Penelope... She asked us to leave in order to put all this pain out, and then she just vanished. We should have never left her there all alone. She had just found Alyssa's favorite dress and it was the trigger for her to explode that way…"

JJ was kind of feeling guilty now.

"Don't do this to yourself, JJ... This is nobody's fault. Poor Emily never had a chance in her deep depression and guilt with Mick and Alyssa, feeling she failed with her family. This savage animal preyed upon her like a beast jumping on a little helpless being. She may have wanted to be in that dark hole of hell, but this Lucifer Satan only pushed her deeper in this hell hole…To her that time was an escape…"

"I think we have enough to start working. Let's just work on this today, to help a friend. It's not an official case so I ask some discretion. Garcia, please, I need everything about this man, a complete research… Morgan and Rossi, I want you two to come with me to his place now… JJ, I need you to see the more urgent cases so we can start on it at the end of the day…"

Reid got up and said:

"I want to go too…"

Hotch stopped him, saying:

"You are too involved…"

"And baby girl, find out everything you can, if he creates a new insurance policy that could be his motive all along for his interest in marrying Emily. We know that Emily is from a very wealthy family so maybe his plan all along is to marry her, kill her and make it look like an accident and then get all the money from her when she dies. An insurance policy could mean triple or quadruple the amount."

"I think it's more of an obsession case…" Rossi pointed.

Garcia went to her office. Hotch, Morgan and Rossi went to Tucker's house. Reid stood there in the meeting room. Before JJ left she approached him. They looked each other in the eye. Both's eyes was watering. She took his shaken hands in hers and said:

"It'll be okay. Emily is strong…She is a fighter…"

"She was when she had something to live for… She has nothing to live for now…" Reid said, looking down and picking on his nails.

JJ touched his hands again and said:

"She has! You!" He looked at her. "She has you, Spence. That's all she needs. You said she has nothing to live for, but you are wrong. She will do anything to get out of this and back to you…"

"You think?"

"I'm sure… Completely sure…" Reid smiled shyly. "Now, go help Garcia while I will select a case from the stack of cases on my desk…"

* * *

At Tucker's place: It was around ten am, and he was still sleeping so Emily was still locked inside the wardrobe, for the second night in a row. Tucker had woken up from the noise of someone knocking at the front door and ringing the bell. Fearing it was someone of her friends, he opened the door of the wardrobe. Emily could hardly breathe in there. She was completely pale and limp, yet he put tape on her mouth, and locked the wardrobe leaving her inside there and went to open the front door to see who it was.

Before Tucker opened the door, Hotch said to Morgan:

"Morgan, let me and Dave do the most of the talking. We know how very emotional you can be, and that this might get the better of you. We don't want him to file a complaint against you for harrassment, is that clear Morgan?"

Morgan didn't like it, but he agreed.

Tucker opened the door, only the part of the glass. Leaving the grid locked. When he saw the three men there, he already knew what it was about so he said:

"I've told that broomstick that she is gone. She's not here anymore…"

"Can we see the note she left?" Hotch asked.

"I threw it away." Tucker answered.

"Well, it's not like her to just vanish from this planet without a trace. My people are looking for her, and if she left any paper trail whatsoever, you need to tell us everything you know. We can talk at our office, or inside your house, and I'm sure you don't want anyone to hear what we have to discuss…"

Rossi was now whispering to Derek:

"Morgan, I see that look of yours. You want to just kick down the door, right now, like you usually do, but that is not the action and resource to take at this time, maybe next time. We have to think of our next move carefully or we might make things worse for Emily…"

"I know all my rights here, and plus you know I'm a police officer. If you don't have a warrant, go get one, and I don't need to go anywhere with you, unless you have an arrest warrant and any kind of evidence against me, so just leave. I don't care if you are federal agents or the President of the United States, you can't do a thing to me…"

"Why are you in such a defensive position? We just want your help to try to find her. According to our other agent, Dr. Reid, she's been missing for a week now… We just need your cooperation to try to figure out her last steps and try to have at least an idea of where she went…" Hotch said, in his usual cold, calm, and controlled position, 'reading' Tucker all the time. "Can you contribute to our investigation?"

"I have nothing to say. She just left a week ago, and if you excuse me, I have a job to do. I need to get ready…"

Tucker closed the door. Hotch said to him, a little louder now:

"We will come back…"

"Hotch, we can't just leave! Of course he is hiding something…"

Hotch whispered to Morgan:

"Morgan, we can't just break into his house. We have no specific reason to do this now. This is a delicate situation since Emily put herself in it by her own free will… If we break into the house and she's not there, the BAU will have to suffer the consequences…"

"But if she is we can save her!"

"Morgan, even if she is, we can't break into his house like that! There are rules and protocols and hierarchies that we have to follow…"

"So, what we are going to do now?"

"Let's investigate him… Let's profile him so we can have an exact idea of what he is capable of… Meanwhile, I'm going to talk to the police and report her disappearance, officially, so we can start doing something against him…"

* * *

They went back to the BAU. Tucker made sure the three had left before taking Emily from the inside of the wardrobe, saying to her:

"I will have to kill you, you bitch! I knew you were trouble since from beginning…"

Emily could barely stand. She said to him:

"Tucker, just let me go... You still have time… I wont tell anyone... Just let me go out that door and we are done… please… You know my team. They will find me and you will have to suffer the consequences…"

She was begging, but he was like hell. He was so angry.

"Shut up!" he said, slapping her on the face.

"No bitch has ever left me before, and it's not going to be you either… No one can leave me…"

He threw Emily's weak body, almost lifeless, on the ground and began kicking her, trying to get rid of all the hatred he was feeling now, until she began to vomit blood. When he realized she was vomiting blood, he lifted her by the hair and said:

"You disgusting pig! Clean it now!"

But Emily just had time to look at him, before collapsing. Before leaving for work, he handcuffed her in bed, as usual, and put the tape on her mouth, leaving her there, unconscious. Now he even preferred for her to die so he would not have to do the job effectively. It would be a favor to him if he got home at night and she was dead already.

* * *

Already in the BAU, the team was gathered waiting for Garcia. She entered the meeting room saying:

"Sir, the news is not pleasant: he is the youngest son of an unconventional family. His mother was a prostitute, and from this 'profession' she had seven children born of unknown fathers. At 35 old, she married Tucker's father who took care of all her kids that she already had before him. Tucker was born and then grew up watching his father beat his mother and telling her she was a prostitute, and that he 'saved' her, all the time. The woman died in mysterious circumstances, suffocated by a pantyhose. Tucker found the mother dead the next day, in the morning, and he called the police. He was twelve at that time. The death was investigated at the time and was given as suicide. Her body was near the tree in the back yard of the house, but there is controversy that may have been his father who killed his mother. Then his father disappeared and he was raised by his older brothers, but he always went to the streets.

"Tucker's mother death is the factor to why Tucker is doing this to his wives. It's what he was taught by his father or he was so traumatized he's not aware of his actions. His horrible past triggered the horrible present and future for him... The odds for him being a normal, decent human being was against him from the start with his horrific past. His mother was a prostitute and he thinks all his wives are prostitutes as well. He's beating them as a way to lash back at his own mother. Tucker has so many stressors from his past with both his father and mother…" Rossi pointed.

"His violence history, Garcia, please…" Hotch asked.

"Well, sir, now, the story gets really dark. His criminal record was sealed, and then off, but I managed to retrieve all the information: As a teenager, petty theft, then fights in schools, then there were complaints about violence against women, but they always withdrew the complaint. He was married twice before Emily, but the two wives also died under mysterious circumstances. The first was found shot in the head, but her body was bruised so they suspected that she was suffering from abuse at home. He was accused, but his alibi was strong: he was on duty that night, and his partner of that night confirmed it. The other wife took an overdose of drugs and died.

Reid was feeling as he was just watching a movie. He couldn't believe that they were talking about the man Emily was living with. He said:

"She was using… Hotch, we have to stop him before he…" He could not end the sentence.

"With both of his parents sinning in his eyes, Tucker was trying to hide the evil side he got from both of his parents. He wanted to be a police officer to hide and mask his evil to fool himself that he's good to hide his evil nature and evil actions. He was definitely hiding under his badge…"

Morgan, JJ, Reid and Garcia were too emotional and they were not thinking straight. Hotch said:

"Garcia, we need to know every single details of the deaths of all his wives. We can see a pattern and maybe find something to link these as murders to Tucker. Our most important mission is to not let Emily be the next murdered wife of his…"

Garcia went out, and the rest of the team got up. Morgan asked:

"What is the next step?"

"I am waiting for a meeting with the local police station, to talk about him and see if we can find something…"

"Hotch, please, no, look, we don't have time. While we are here just waiting and collecting information, she can be killed by him. We have to break into the house now, Hotch. I know she is in there, I can feel she is in there. She would never vanish like that, not now that we…" Reid stopped talking.

"Reid?" Hotch asked for him to continue speaking. "We need to know everything…" Hotch added.

"Not now when we are so close…" Reid said.

Reid's eyes widened now for Hotch, affirming:

"I know she is in there! We have to save her now…before it's too late… Emily and I… we have a connection. We both lost our soul mates and we turned to each other. She was in a very dark place like I was for awhile when I lost Maeve. Emily agreed to get into the light again and she would not want to kill herself anymore, like she wanted for a long time after her family was murdered in front of her own eyes. She wanted me to stop the wedding, but I was too late because Tucker blocked her calls from me and everyone here. Tucker is an evil and manipulative person that I'm sure has kidnapped and hidden her somewhere in that apartment… We have to find her now or I'm going to lose another person that I care about so much again in such short period. I can't take this, and I refuse to let this happen. We need to go to Tucker's house and break in now like Derek suggested…"

"And if she is not there? He won't cooperate…"

"He has no other properties…" Garcia spit out, as if saying: he has no other place to hide her.

"Okay, we will have to do this in a way of the law somehow because we have no proof yet. I know we'll get it with our great efforts together as always, but I'm going to call the precinct that he belongs to and ask him to meet us there. Let's go…"

They were putting their vests on, including Reid. Hotch said to Reid:

"I think it's better you stay here…"

Reid began to stammer nervously:

"NO! I'm not going to stay here, Hotch, please, I have to go…I have to be there for her, please, she has to know how much I care…I'm definitely going…"

"Reid, you are too involved. I've never seen you like this. You can't focus, you can't think…Just stay here and wait, we are going to bring her safe…"

"No, Hotch, I'm not going to stay here!"

Morgan approached Reid and said, gently, placing his hand on Reid's shoulders:

"Kid, we don't know what we're going to find inside the house, are you sure you want to go?"

"I'm sure!" Reid was plagued.

"So, let's go!" Hotch said.

And Morgan, Rossi, Reid and Hotch went to Tucker's house.

* * *

**I'm sorry, I'm sorry for stopping here, but I promise update very soon. Thank you for reading and please leave a comment!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I own nothing**

* * *

Morgan, Reid, Hotch, Rossi and JJ were outside Tucker's house waiting for the perfect opportunity to invade. It was night and the two SUVs were parked at the next street, as to not get his attention.

They stayed there for about two hours and nothing. Tucker did not appear and no noise or light were coming from inside the house. They were starting to doubt she was really inside there. Reid was shaking nervously which everyone noticed. Morgan said to him:

"Reid, you shouldn't be here…"

"I want to be here. I am pretty sure she is there inside… We should break into the house now…"

"Reid, listen to me... It's obvious Tucker isn't there right now, so she is safe. We have to catch him in flagrant, so we can arrest him immediately…"

"It's just… Every minute she is suffering a little more…"

Morgan placed his hand on Reid's shoulder and said:

"We're going to save her…"

Inside another SUV, Rossi and Hotch were talking:

"I hope she's inside the house… If we invade his home and she's not there, we might have to answer for this…"

"Well, Aaron, I'm pretty sure if we dig in his life we are going to find several big reasons to keep him in jail…" Rossi said.

On that exact moment, they saw a police car park in front of the house of Tucker. It was he who was coming to see if Emily was still alive inside the house. Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, Reid and JJ surrounded him in the garden of the house, pointing their guns. Hotch said:

"Put your hands in the air and don't move."

All of them pointed their guns at Tucker's head, and they approached Tucker. When Tucker had both hands in the air, Morgan approached him even more, put his gun away, and handcuffed him with his hands behind him. Morgan took the keys of the house and gave to Hotch for him to open the door. Morgan stayed in the garden with Tucker while the rest of the team entered the house. Reid went straight to the bedroom. He found Emily beaten, bloody and unconscious, on the floor, stuck by a pair of handcuffs. Reid quickly knelt on the floor beside her:

"Emily, hey... Emily ... It's me ..."

He touched her to see if her body was still luke warm. He could see that she still had a pulse. It was really weak, but her heart was still beating.

JJ had seen Emily on the floor and she had already called the ambulance.

The paramedics arrived quickly and took Emily away on a stretcher. They put her in the ambulance.

"Man, what is wrong with you? You worked all your life on the job putting away guys who abuse and torture people and you end up doing worse than the people you put away does…" Morgan said to Tucker.

They called the police to arrest him. Reid went with Emily in the ambulance to the hospital.

* * *

In the hospital:

The whole team was in the waiting room while she was being examined by the doctors. Reid walked around the room all the time. He was anxious and agitated. JJ got up to talk to him:

"Spence…"

He looked at her, and swallowed.

"Calm down… she will be okay…"

"They are taking too long…"

"They have to wait for the test results…"

After three hours, the doctor came to talk to them:

"She is completely dehydrated, and she has a high degree of anemia. We need to keep her here to stabilize it. About her body wounds, the most of them are superficial, but she has some broken ribs and we are examining if the blows she suffered compromised her internal organs like kidney, lung and liver. These tests take a few days to get ready. She's sedated now."

"Can I see her?"

"Like I said, she's sedated, but you can come with me, just to see her…"

Reid went to see Emily, following the doctor.

"I am worried about Reid…" Hotch said to Rossi.

"Why?"

"I think he is trying to substitute Maeve using Emily… He must have seen some kind of darkness in Emily and felt attracted to this and if I am right it won't be good for any of them…"

"I don't think like that, Aaron. I can see clearly like water that they can help each other. I still don't know what kind of relationship they have or will have, if it's like sister and brother, or woman and man, but they need each other right now…"

"I hope you're right…"

In Emily's hospital bedroom:

Emily was sleeping, and a serum was connected to her left hand. Reid approached her. He lowered his face close to hers to talk to her.

"Hey…" He swallowed. "I…I don't have much to say right now, but…I..." He swallowed again. "I… hmmm…. because when it's about feelings… I never know what to say… I am so happy you are safe now…and…and… I'll be right here waiting for you so… we can begin again… our… our lives…"

Then he just smiled at Emily, at the exact moment that a young female nurse entered the place. She had not heard anything he'd said to Emily, but she could see him smiling at Emily. The nurse said to him:

"So sweet, but she can't see your smile…"

"Actually she can't see, but she can feel. We can always feel the presence of people we love and care because in reality, the distance is like a convention of our personal interest, meaning almost nothing for those who we have a very strong spiritual connection. Indeed, our mind can trigger our thoughts for the person who we are in love with no matter where on the planet the person is, and we can feel it on our side, getting even smell or taste it. It's always inside our mind. Her unconsciousness will record what I said to her, and that I smiled at her, and when she wakes up, somehow, she will have access to that information..."

The young nurse was speechless. She said:

"Wow… She is so lucky to have you…"

Reid smiled shyly at the woman and looked at Emily with both hands in his pockets. The nurse then said:

"You have to leave now. We have some procedures to make on her…"

"What procedures?"

"It's up to the doctor to say…"

Reid talked to the doctor, and he said they were just normal procedures to check the functioning of her body. After the procedures, the doctor allowed Reid to spend the whole night in the hospital bedroom with her. The team had gone home. Reid was just staring at her, caressing her face for a long time. Then he fell asleep on the small sofa near her bed.

In the early dawn, Emily opened her eyes. She realized that she was in a hospital room, and looked to the side and saw Reid asleep on the small sofa. She stayed for a little while just staring at him, only watching as he slept peacefully, just observing how a brilliant and intelligent mind could seem so fragile emotional.

After a long time looking at him, he opened his eyes. He had to look twice at her to make sure she was really awake. So he smiled at her and she smiled back. He got up from the sofa and got closer to her.

"Hey…." he said.

Stroking her hair, he said very close to her face:

"How are you feeling?"

"I feel like my body is not in pain anymore, but…."

She looked away now. Then she looked at him again:

"I'm afraid of what I will have to face now… My reality…"

He held her hand and said:

"Your reality now is me, Emily. Look, I'm going to need you. I'm counting on you in my life. I know how we can help each other overcome our losses. I already have a place for you at my small apartment if you don't mind to share it with lots of books and TV boxes… Derek says you love Kurt Vonnegut… I even got some of those books in my book collection for you to read…"

"I'm serious, Spence…"

"I'm serious too, Emily! You are going home with me…Please…."

She thought for a little while.

"What about my house?" She said.

"I have already provided a makeover to your old house, and provided someone to fix all the broken things. We can rent the house to someone and you don't need to go back there for a long time if you don't want to. I can get the things you want, your clothes and shoes… I can do it for you…"

"Spence… you are so young… I… I don't want to be a burden to you…"

Holding her hand a little tighter now, he said:

"Love is never a burden Emily, and that is what I feel for you: a deep love, and it's not only friendship. Yes, we have always been great friends, but it's much deeper than that. Love is never having to say you are sorry and never ever a burden. The love we have does not burden each other as it helps us both to grow and shine from the darkness we both got buried deep within ourselves for a long time, but now we are both complete with each other…"

She was just absorbing every word he was saying, looking at him. He continued:

"Emily, look into my eyes... I am not a romantic guy and I don't believe in fairy tales, but I believe in the truth that can be seen through the eyes… Do you really believe I am doing it only because of you? I need you in my life because I can't be alone anymore and I can't be with anyone else but you… Please, give me a chance... Give us a chance…"

* * *

On that day, Spencer and Emily sealed their fate: together. From the hospital they went to Reid's apartment. He had asked Hotch a whole week off from BAU to be able to stay with her in these early days. He went to get her clothes and shoes in the old house she shared with Mick and Alyssa and life seemed almost perfect for them. Reid also brought her flowers for her when he came back from the street. She smiled shyly at him. He hugged her tightly, demonstrating how much they needed each other. They sat on the sofa, concentrating on the books they were reading. Their feet were meeting in the middle of the sofa, under the blanket. For hours they sat there, just staring up from time to time, sharing a smile, but their souls were in peace and, oddly enough, seemed now complete.

On Saturday night, Reid invited her to a movie theater. He did not like those ordinary films, the romantic drivel, but the film chosen was exactly a romantic comedy. He wanted to do it for her. Perhaps she could find it funny and laugh a little. So they went to the last screening and it worked. She liked the movie, she laughed and he was pleased with himself for it. At home, she hugged him and said:

"Thank you…"

"Oh, please, you don't need to thank me, Emily…"

"Yes, I need to… You… you are making all the difference to me right now in my life… I can see the light again… At least it's a start…"

"I'm seeing the same light too… So, thank you…"

His apartment had only one bedroom, so he had given up the bedroom for her, and he slept in the living room on the sofa. That night, she was in the bedroom, in her pajamas already. She went to the living room. Reid fixed the covers to be able to lie down on the sofa. She watched him from afar. When he noticed her presence, he smiled at her. She smiled back and said:

"Sleep in the bedroom tonight…"

"Oh, no, Emily, you can have the bedroom…" He said, without looking at her and fixing the pillows on the sofa. She added:

"I want your company…"

He looked at her as if he hadn't heard her correctly. He swallowed hard. He didn't expect it so soon, and he didn't have it clear in his brilliant 187 IQ mind, which meant that invitation. Sex was a department virtually nonexistent for him.

"Sure…" he said.

"Okay… I'll be waiting…"

She went back to the bedroom and he stayed there, paralyzed. His mind was now flying. He thought maybe he could make a quick phone call to Morgan, an expert on the subject, but that idea went away quickly. Somehow, he tried to block his thoughts, and went to the bedroom. He was also in his pajamas, long pants and sleeves.

Entering the bedroom, he saw that Emily lying in bed in her pajamas under the covers. The bedroom light was on. Reid smiled at her and she smiled back at him. He switched off the light and lay down beside her. They were lying facing each other.

He started to get closer to her, caressing her, taking away the hair that insisted on falling on her face. He was increasingly approaching her, and their faces were very close now. After looking at each other for a while, they finally kissed for the first time in those early days they were living together. It was a long kiss, devotion and surrender of both parties.

Well, Spencer Reid could be one of those rare people, very different from any other model of masculine behavior, but still, he was a man. So, very gently and slowly, while he was still kissing her on the mouth, his right hand started very slowly to try to get inside her pajamas, but, not too slowly like him, her hand stopped his at the same time that she broke the kiss, saying:

"I'm sorry… I can't…" She whispered to him, very gently.

"No, No, I...I...I'm sorry…" He said, very embarrassed.

Reid, instantaneously, got the message that she was not ready for sex yet. Not just because of her beatings and ordeal and rapes that she had with Tucker. She was not ready physically, but she was not ready emotionally and mentally either, for sex, also because Mick, her last real love. But what Reid had just experienced with her, gentle touch and kissing, it had meant too much to him, and it was just as beautiful and intimate as love making, and he was completely happy with this. Reid hugged her again, and they slept next to each other for the rest of the night.

* * *

The first month they lived together was like that. Emily was still recovering. The doctors had said she was still recovering from all her injuries, but sadly she still had a lot of emotional trauma to deal with. Sometimes Reid would catch her crying. She could not help but to cry sometimes still, missing Mick and Alyssa. Only now, she really started to face her lost, getting in touch with her reality. And, also, sometimes she had still very bad dreams about Tucker, jumping in the middle of the night just by the touch of Reid. And she was also doing therapy.

* * *

Reid came home that Wednesday night, after another case solved. It had taken two days to solve it. He kissed Emily on the lips. She finished preparing a meal for them. After kissing her lips, as he always did when arriving at home, he just stood there in the kitchen. He didn't go to the shower as he always did. Then she turned to him.

"What?" She could notice he was a little restless. Her profiler skills were still there.

"It … it's just… It has been thirty days now and in order to keep Tucker in prison, you have to give your statement…"

Well, that really stole all the peace she was feeling. She became agitated and nervous and it was very visible to him.

She leaned against the kitchen sink. She looked up, breathing hard.

"Will I have to see him?" She asked Reid.

"Well, I talked to the officer, probably not… And they already have your medical report from the day you were rescued… And also they have the drugs that were found in the house on that day. But they want your testimony to be able to keep him imprisoned and pay for the crimes he's committed to you, for example, referring to…. To the…" He began to stutter. "To the rapes, and other things… they need to hear from you…"

"When this hell is going to end?" She asked more to herself.

Reid approached her and hugged her tightly while stroking her back, saying:

"I will be with you… I will be with you all the way…"

* * *

**Thanks to everyone is reading this story. It will get better now for our Emily. What kind of things do you folks out there like to see happen next? Please don't be shy and let me know in comment so i can see if I can accomodate your wishes. I promise I will try my best because I want to know what you all think and what you all want.**


	16. Chapter 16

**I own nothing**

* * *

With Emily's testimony to the police chief, Tucker would get in prison for at least two years, for keeping her in captivity, and for the beatings.

* * *

She had been living with Reid for two months now. She was still in therapy, and all her internal and external wounds were getting a little better.

* * *

Whenever he had a night off, Reid took her to watch a musical or an interesting theater play that she would like. And tonight was one of those nights. They were at the theater watching some musical, opera type. An opera song called Con te partirò was playing. Suddenly, Reid turned his face to look at Emily. She felt his eyes on her so, after a little while, she turned her face to look at him too and it was as if they were the only two there. It was as if they had been transported to some other place out of the world; their gaze was so intense and said so much to each other, just by the looking. He took her hands, and hugged her as if they were one person. And that way they were really becoming a part of each other, but not just any part, but a very important part.

* * *

One month more had passed and they were even more a part of each other now. It could be said that they were already feeling happy. They had been living together for three months now. Reid had called her during the day, saying that he would come to have dinner with her because the case was already over, and he would be home in three days. It was a Wednesday. He came home about eight PM. She was working on dinner, hair in ponytail, without any makeup. She was also wearing a kitchen apron. He entered the apartment:

"Emily, hey, I'm home…"

"In the kitchen," She said.

"Come here, I have something for you…"

She came from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron.

"What is it?"

They approached each other. Reid kissed her, a small kiss on her lips, and gave the package for her to open. Considering the shape and size of the package she could see it was a book. Before she could open it, he held her hands and said:

"First, I want to say that you look gorgeous…"

"Oh, C'mon, Spence… I was just cooking… look at my hair… my bitten nails… and I'm pale like milk…"

Still holding her hands, he said:

"You are gorgeous to me, still… Even more, au natural because you are just perfect the way you are. You don't need makeup, or big nails, or some particular hairstyle… Your beauty comes from the inside, from the heart and the person you are is the person…" He began to stutter. "...the person I fell in love with…"

Emily's heart melted now, and her whole body went limp and warmed by his words. She smiled sweetly at him.

"C'mon, open it," he said.

She opened the package. It was a Kurt Vonnegut book. He had found it in a used bookstore, and she had commented that she had never read this one.

"Oh, Spence… Thank you!" she said happily.

She looked down at the book when she realized there was something in it. She quickly flipped through the book and something fell out of it on the floor. She bent to pick up. It was a ring with a note tied to it in a bow, saying: _Marry me?_

She was kind of in shock, mouth opened, trying to understand if she was seeing things clearly. And Reid started to speak.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Emily. Please, let's complete our love in the beautiful bliss of marriage. It will symbolize the commitment I have for our love, and you. Our love is like this book as it flows with words through all the pages and our story has just begun and will continue to flow with storylines that have yet to be discovered and adventures yet to be embarked, but I know it will lead to happily ever after, and even if it doesn't, because we both know how dark life can be, I know we still will have each other. Please, Emily, be my wife so we can continue to have each other's company. Do you see how lucky we both are? We both had soul mates that we lost and we thought that we could never find happiness again, but we beat the odds and we were able to find another person to love, making us two very rare lucky people. What do you say? Will you be my wife and make me the luckiest man in the universe?"

Reid was eager for her answer. He had been the one who had rescued her from the darkness. He had been the one who'd started to show her that life could still have a bright side, even though he also had just experienced all the darkness as well. He had been the one who'd slept with her, and just slept, embracing each other all night, and the love was so big and enough that there was no space for anything else, and the sex stayed only in the remote background for them. They just slept, and hugged each other.

"Emily?" Reid asked.

Emily was so touched and emotional with his proposal that she could barely speak. She was breaking with emotion. She was very emotional. Shaking yet, she said:

"Yes, Spencer… I want to marry you…"

* * *

A few weeks later, Reid had told the team, and they were very happy for them. Reid was looking for a small country house to rent for the wedding ceremony with Emily. He also had told his mother to come, as he had agreed to travel to Vegas to pick her up. Emily had also told her parents about the wedding.

* * *

It was a Saturday night and Emily had gone with JJ and Penelope to choose a white dress for her to get married, and also JJ and Penelope would buy new clothes and sandals for the occasion. After they bought everything, they had some coffee at a cozy cafeteria.

"Well, my raven hair beauty, tell us the full story with you and the boy genius. I would never have guessed that you two from the BAU would end up together because I always saw a lot of flirting with you and my Chocolate God, never with the boy genius. Did he woo you with his statistics? Those statistics that shows how best friends could lead to perfect soul mates? Please, my beauty, tell us all the juicy details, do not leave out a single part of your beautiful love story leading to this beautiful upcoming wedding…" Penelope said.

"So, Emily, I'll have to confess… I am really, really, very happy for you and Spence but this got me totally by surprise… I was thinking you were just at his place as good friends like you guys always were…" JJ said.

"Yeah, it took me by surprise too… I mean since the beginning when he started to see me at Tucker's house we had this connection… This mutual feeling of suffering and stuff and I think I could see the light in his darkness and he could see the light in my darkness. It's really weird saying this, but it's exactly like that, you know? It's like when you see someone so submerged in the darkness and loneliness, experiencing so much pain that you just feel that you have to be okay to help that person that you love and I think our love for each other just changed by the time we spend together…"

"So, Emily, how is Reid in the bedroom department? Does the Boy Genius need to take out his statistic manual to quote the best position to be in?"

At the same time, JJ was drinking her coffee, and she spit it out in shock, hearing what Garcia said. She wiped her mouth with her napkin and tried to drink her coffee again, antennas connected to Emily's response.

"Well, Pen… you'll have to wait to know that answer because we haven't achieved this level yet…"

JJ spit out the coffee again, in surprise, she said:

"Hey, can you two please make a pause in the talk so I don't take the risk of suffocate on my coffee…"

The three laughed.

"Wait, let me see if I understood… You two have been living together for three months I guess now, and you're getting married in less than a month and never… and you two have never exchanged bodily fluids?"

"Pen! Can you please not give me a mental picture right now that I think might make me lose my appetite forever?"

"I'm just trying to understand this new phenomenon that makes two people who love each other and live together have not yet experienced the taste of each other's body…" Garcia said.

"Pen, these are good valid questions but your choice of words does not do good for my appetite. You could use words like Emily… You and Reid have not consummated your love yet, that way my stomach could handle it… Do you see the difference with my wording Pen?"

"Consummate is such a big word for me. I'm not a genius like Reid and you…" Garcia said, jokingly.

The three drank the coffee. JJ and Penelope looked at Emily.

"What?" Emily asked.

"Well, we are waiting for the answer… How come you and Reid share a house and a love for each other and never…"

"Share a bed!" Emily pointed.

"Wow, share a bed and nothing! I can't believe it!" Garcia said.

"How so?" JJ asked in a different tone, like they were not joking anymore.

Emily took a deep breath and said:

"Our love is more than sex. It's a connection of hearts and there's no need for this act quite yet. It is very intimate with touching of hands, souls and hearts. Spencer is a total different person… He is so sweet and he cares so much. I have to confess that he tried the first week we were living together, the night we started to sleep in bed together, but I was not ready… y-You know Tucker…. He…"

Emily looked down and began to stammer. She was very embarrassed now. JJ said, holding her hands up:

"Emily, you don't have to…"

Emily bit her lip and said to JJ and Penelope:

"No, guys, I need to say it... I need to get it out of my chest… I can't talk to Spence about this, and you two are my best friends, more than sisters to me… I need to say it…"

JJ and Penelope were dismayed, waiting for Emily to speak.

"Tucker abused me in every imaginable way, every single day and night. He tied me and beat me, and he cursed me and humiliated me. He told me horrible things. He beat me with his leather belt, and sometimes with the truncheon. He used to leave me handcuffed all day. He used to throw all the food on the floor when he thought it wasn't good enough for him, and then he rubbed my face in the food on the floor. Sometimes he used to lock me inside the wardrobe during all night, but nothing hurt me more than when he used to rape me…"

At this point, JJ and Garcia had tears in their eyes and they were swallowing hard. Emily herself was fighting back tears. She continued:

"He used to rape me every single night, sometimes even during the day and it was a worse torture for me because it is just so disgusting. I preferred a zillion times him beating me to death than having him inside me… It was like he was stealing all my dignity, all the little hope that I could still feel in life… I used to feel so disgusted with myself that sometimes I spent the entire night under the shower, just letting the water flow and, still, I felt like the most disgusting person in the Universe…"

Very carefully, JJ asked her:

"Emily and how did… how didn't you end up pregnant?"

Emily was very embarrassed now. She looked at her friends and said:

"He… he raped me everywhere in my body, but he used to finish the dirty 'job' from behind…"

"Oh, God, I don't think I have stomach to hear anything else right now…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Pen…" Emily said.

"God, no, Emily! You should have called us, you should have screamed, you should have yelled for us to come…"

"She couldn't, Pen, she was captive…" JJ said.

"Where were we? How did we let all these bad things happen to you?"

"Oh, Pen, any of this isn't anyone's fault, but mine… I put myself in that deep darkness because at that time I needed to escape my own life and my pain and I have to confess that my initial intention was that he really killed me, because I was too much of a coward to do this to myself…"

"Yeah, we understand that and Emily, everything happens for a reason, we know that... It had to be Spencer to rescue you… It had to be him so you guys could be together…"

"Yeah, JJ, Thank you… I like to think that way too… Spencer has been so special to me in my life and all this intimacy we've been sharing these last couple of months that we've been living together, like just hugging each other tight… Falling asleep in each other's arms, without sex, will make our first time be a zillion times more special for the both of us…"

With tears in her eyes, Garcia smiled and said:

"And you will be the cutest bride in this dress…"

Emotionally smiling too, Emily said:

"Do you think he'll like it?"

"He will love it."

* * *

On Monday, at the BAU, Rossi and Morgan were talking around Morgan's desk, and the elevator door opened and Reid came out of it, with his usual bag on the shoulder and a coffee in his hand. His face seemed to be enlightened, he was radiating happiness. Morgan said, while Reid was making his way to his desk, next to Morgan's:

"Oh, Pretty Boy, what a happy face, lucky boy ended with the better piece of the cake… With all respect, Emily Prentiss is a no joke classy babe in all regards…"

Placing his stuff on his desk, Reid said without looking at Morgan:

"I will take this as a compliment…"

"Well, Reid, who would have thought this…. You and Emily! I did not see that coming, and you know me to be one of the top profilers in the world. I guess it has to be the first time that all my profiler's skills went out the window in this case, but I'm so happy for the both of you kid. You did well because I know you will make each other very happy… You two are the kindest souls I know…"

"Thanks, Rossi… Emily is someone really special to me…"

"What about to sleep and wake embraced, you know, the best part is staying awake in bed. How are you doing in the best department?"

"Well, I can say… pretty good… Since the best department to me is about love and affection and sharing everything in a way you can connect to the person's soul even without touching her… I'm not like one of those who only cares about sex…"

"Whoa, pretty boy… Calm down… I'm just saying…"

"I know you are just saying and I know you are talking about sex, but Emily just came out of months of abuse and rape as you know and I will wait for her to take her time, and even if it never happens I'm totally okay with this too…"

Reid in his usual spontaneous way, typical of him, realized he'd been a little too hard on Morgan. Before making his way to the stairs to Hotch's office, he turned to Morgan, raising his eyebrows and saying:

"Sorry…"

Reid went away and entered Hotch's office. Morgan was dumbfounded. He said:

"Reid is really someone out of this world. Rossi, man, how can someone share a bed with Emily Prentiss for months and stay in zero zero…"

"I'm not here…" Rossi said, not wanting to compromise himself.

Inside Hotch's office:

"Hotch, as you know… next Saturday is my wedding with Emily… As the whole team is invited and stuff…"

"Yeah… congratulations again, Reid… It's a very big and important step…"

"Yeah, hmm… Thank you…"

"What can I do for you?" Hotch asked.

"As you know my Mom is the only alive relative I have since I could never count on my father so I would like your permission to go to Vegas and get her on Thursday as she can't travel all alone…"

"Sure, Reid… whatever you need and since you will be on vacation already you just have to work until Wednesday…"

"Thanks, Hotch…"

Later, that night, Emily and Spence were at home, watching an old movie on his old TV:

"Spence… I was thinking today about our wedding…"

Reid looked at her. They were hugging each other under the duvet on the couch.

"I think you should invite your father…" she said.

He said, almost whispering:

"I don't have a father…"

"You have! You know you do, Spence… Life is so short... You and I know that in first hand so please don't waste life harboring bad feelings toward your father…you need to forgive him and move on, and be happy. He's your father and you need to make peace with him, or you will regret this for the rest of your life…"

"It was his choice to leave me… I never asked him to go…"

"I know, Spence. It was hard when he was a coward and left you and your Mom, when you were just a child, but I'm not asking you to go live with him, or bring him to live with us… It's your wedding! It's an important step... Unless you are thinking in get marry again another time after me…"

He smiled at her about her last tease, and said:

"No, of course not…"

"So, think… I was going to invite him as a surprise, but I would really like and I believe that this should come from you…"

Reid was still thinking, looking down. Emily continued saying:

"You know, I've barely seen my parents since I was a baby, and during all the events that I had at school, my parents were never there. My Mom used to send a maid or nanny to represent her, using her diplomacy with me! Her own daughter. My entire life was like that, but now I know it was the best that she could give me and it would not help me to stay brooding these things inside of me… I had to forgive and move on so try to do the same…"

"I'm going to think about it…"

"Okay…"

She kissed him on the cheek. He turned to look at her, and captured her mouth with his. He moved on the sofa, just a little to be able to kiss her deeply, holding her face. After the long passionate kiss, he said:

"I love you…"

She smiled at him and said:

"I love you, too Spence…"

* * *

Next day, at the BAU, on the phone:

"Hey, dad…."

"Spence!"

* * *

**What will Reid tell his father? Will he reject him and hang up on him? …or will he listen to his sweet loving fiancee Emily's words and give his father a chance and let him in. Please let me know what you think and please tell me what you would like to see so I can do my best as always thanks very much in advance… Next chapter, a lovely wedding. Please, leave a comment. Thanl you!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Well, this chapter is really huge, and it required a lot of dedication. I hope you enjoy it. I used a song at the end, and it would be nice if you heard this song while reading. This is a big hint!**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Next day, at the BAU, on the phone:

"Hey, dad…."

"Spence!"

"Yeah, Dad…"

"How are you Spence? I have been trying to speak to you...

"Yeah... I have been kind of busy lately..."

"I know how hard you work…"

"Dad, I cannot take too long, but there is something I want to tell you…"

"It must be very important if you have to make a point to call me…I am all ears, Spence…"

Reid pressed his lips, he took off the hawk that had formed in his throat with a short cough, and said:

"I'm going to get married…"

Reid's father was dumbfounded now. He was happy because Reid had called him, but also in shock. He never expected that Reid was going to get married anytime soon. Reid noticed his father was out, and said:

"Dad?"

"I…I…I'm here… wow… Spence… this is great!... I don't know what to say though…. Congratulations!"

"Hey Dad... I am calling because I was wondering if you would like to come…"

"Oh, Spence… wow… this makes me very happy….We have never talked in such a long time and I really miss that connection… I never told you enough how very proud I am of you, and how very sorry I am for not being there for you all your life. I just hope you can forgive me and….. you calling me….. is a very good start and I hope can be a new beginning for the two of us….."

"Well, Dad, it is not that simple, there a lot of bridges to build between us before we can find our way together again, but this is a very important step so I had to tell you, and I will like you to be there for this very important occasion and event in my life…"

"Sure Spence... Of course I will be there for sure... just please give me the address…"

"It's on Saturday. It's a very small ceremony… just a few people…I am texting you the address now…"

"Okay, thank you… Spence… I am very happy for you and because you invited me…"

"Okay, Dad, bye…"

"Hey, wait, Spence?"

"I'm still here, Dad…"

"Do you want me to take your Mom?"

"Oh… Hmmm… no, thanks. Since she does not know yet about the wedding, I prefer to take her in person myself...…"

"Okay…"

Reid hung up the phone, and he was experiencing a sensation of peace within himself. He was feeling good, full and happy. He always said to himself that Emily helped him more than he helped her.

As Reid was speaking this last sentence, Hotch was passing by his backs, and listened, after Reid hung up the phone, Hotch said:

"Are you going to Vegas to pick up your Mom?"

"Yes, like I said before, that's why I need…"

"Reid, you can go now…then we can splice with your vacations…"

"Are you sure, Hotch…"

"I'm sure Reid, I mean: you are a paramount part of our team, but it is your life and you deserve to take care of it… And considering that it is still morning, if you were lucky with the flight, you might be in Vegas tonight...…."

"Thank you, Hotch…"

* * *

Very grateful, Reid went to his home, to meet Emily and they got a small bag for them, and they researched schedule flights to Vegas and found one for seven o'clock.

In the late afternoon, they went to the airport by taxi, and they took the flight to Vegas, the flight would make a scale in Chicago, for about one hour.

During the time scale, they got off the plane and went to the bookstore inside the airport. While Emily was looking at the book shelves, Reid was sitting comfortably reading one of the books that were there for the public to read, it was really interesting to him. He read the book very quickly, as always. Then, after he finished reading the book, he stayed in a sitting position in the comfortable chair just looking at Emily. He saw her from afar. She was standing, looking at the blurb on the back of any book in front of the shelves. She was wearing a dark jeans and a red sweater with a scarf wrapped around her neck, he was just looking at how beautiful she was, he let himself had the luxury of just looking at her, in a kind of idolizing that figure of woman, which for many years, he avoided looking so intensively, repairing on her so fully and openly. He swallowed just imagining his first time with her. And you could tell he was already so much yearning for that.

Well, Reid had no e-mail, he did not know who Lady Gaga was, and his ears only allowed him to hear Beethoven and Bach, but the bookstore was playing an ambient song, and there was no way he did not hear it, and not cross that song with that woman who suddenly turned to him and smiled at him, by far, as if she had felt his eyes on her. He recorded every word of that song in his head, very easy task for Spencer Reid. He would use that song. After a little while, he approached her and said:

"Hey, I think it's better we go back…"

"Hmmm, okay…"

"Do you want to buy the book?"

"Oh, no… I cannot go to a fantasy world right now… I want to face my life fully until I can jump in a fairy tale…"

They went to the airplane to complete the trip.

* * *

They arrived in Vegas it was about midnight, because of the time zone. It was too late night for them to go to the clinic where Reid's mother was living. They went to a Hotel near there, then.

In the hotel bedroom:

"Do you want to take a shower first…"

"If you don't mind, Spence… I am really tired…"

"Oh… okay…Do you want to eat something… I can order…"

"Oh, no… thank you…"

She went to the shower, and Reid was fighting back really hard his desires now, and against parts of his body that he was in a limit of not controlling it anymore.

Emily was in the shower now, taking a bath. She got out of the shower and began to dry herself quickly, wearing a bathrobe, as she looked over the bathroom sink. There was a vase of flowers with daisies, just like the one that there was in a bathroom when she made one of the thousands trips with Mick. She remembered him taking a daisy and placing it in her ear, in the midst of her hair and kissing her on the mouth. She missed him, but in a different way now. She thought about him fondly, and not ashamed of herself, like when she was with Tucker. She looked in the bathroom mirror, but instead of seeing her image reflected there, she saw the image of Mick, smiling sweetly at her. She smiled back at him, turning to see her own image in the mirror. Yeah, you could tell that she was taking the first step towards to maybe feeling that thing she thought was no longer possible for her again: happiness.

Emily was already in bed now, and Spencer getting out of the bathroom after the shower. He was only in his underwear. Emily thought it was strange because he always used to sleep with his pajamas. She said:

"You forgot your pajamas?"

"Oh… I…It's kind hot here… Do you mind if I sleep that way?"

"OH, no, Spence… of course not…"

He joined her in bed. He slowly approached her, caressing her on the hair, he said:

"You are so beautiful, Emily… All these years I really never stopped to really see you… you are so perfect and I know that all this beauty come from inside but you are just so perfect to me… your eyes… your nose…"

"…my nose is big…" She said, smiling at him.

"…well… it is the only gorgeous big nose in the entire world… because you are so perfect… and your body… your mouth…" He was speaking and getting even more close to her.

When he said '…your mouth…', their mouths were already very close, then he kissed her. It was very nice to kiss her, and it was very nice to kiss Spencer Reid in his fleshy mouth as well. They kissed passionately, slow and tasty kiss, while his hand was holding her backs, he could notice that she was braless, and he was so horny that it was hurting. From her backs, his hand was sliding a little down as he was kissing her deliciously on the mouth, tasting each others tongues, reaching the elastic of her pajama pants, in the backs. As she was warmly returning the kiss, he dared to enter with his hand slightly within the elastic pajamas. But there was still a barrier there, the snug panties she was wearing. The kiss was really good for both parties, so he saw no problems in trying to bump his fingers in the elastic of her panties too, while he made some effort to not to touch the underside of his body on hers, because she could be a little scared, thinking that perhaps he had brought a shotgun under the sheet. When his cheeky finger tried an access to the elastic of her panties, she broke the kiss, opening her eyes and whispering to him:

"Don't…"

Reid looked like he was swallowing an elephant now. He began to think fast to himself: 'Okay, Spencer Reid, think of something else, okay, how about what you always have in your mind… think about formulas and statistics… I don't fucking want to think about statistics and formula right now… I just want to think in how I am going to touch her and make love to her and how long I will draw out my pleasure… Okay, how about deep breaths, and thinking of nothing but white empty spaces…'

Noticing his huge disappointment, she said:

"I'm sorry…"

He swallowed another elephant right now, trying to recover himself and get back on planet Earth again, and he said to her:

"That's okay…"

He was lying on his back now, completely away from her, without touching her, he was really trying to recover himself.

"Spence… look at me…"

He did. She said:

"…It is not you at all, it is me. I am still living in a nightmare living hell because of that awful man. I am getting close to fully heal physically because of his beatings but the emotional and mental scars are taking longer to heal. I do want you badly as much as you want me. I love you so much but I need more time, can you understand?"

'Say this to my body…' he thought to himself, but he actually said:

"Emily… your beauty captures me totally that I cannot help in not wanting to touch you and to show you how I feel about you and make love to you... but I want you to know I will wait for you forever if you need… if you are not ready, this is more than fine with me, we can just hold each other or whatever you need me to do for you… my body never reacted that way before, it was like I felt it was uncontrollable. I am so sorry too...… "

She smiled tenderly at him and said:

"…Just hug me…"

"Yes… I can do that… but… first… I really need to go to the bathroom…"

* * *

The next day, Wednesday, they had breakfast at the hotel and went to the clinic to give the news of the wedding, and seek Reid's mother for the event.

At the clinic: it was a very beautiful sunny day, and she was at the garden of the clinic, painting on a canvas.

They approached her, she saw him:

"Spence… …Another case around here?"

In the beginning she did not care too much about their presence there, because deep down, she always got a little sad because he only used to visit her when he was working on a case near there, but, of course she used to understand his always rush lifestyle, because of BAU's schedules.

"Mom… do you remember Emily, right?!"

Only now, she stopped painting to look at them:

"Of course I remember her…"

"Hi, Mrs. Reid…" Emily said kissing the woman on the cheek.

"Diana, please…" She said.

Diana was sitting on a garden bench, Reid sat right beside her, and Emily sat near him. Reid said:

"How are you doing, Mom?"

"Well I feel like the medications are doing their job keeping me sane… But then, I remember you and all the darkness that you live everyday with because of your job and I had no reason to complain since I only see this beautiful garden and the sights that I can create on this canvas…"

They were looking at the canvas now. She was painting a beautiful lake and trees. Reid said:

"This one is pretty beautiful, Mom…"

Still thinking they were there, in Vegas, because of a case, she asked, even without looking at Reid:

"So, how bad is the case this time?

"Actually, Mom, we are not here because of a case…"

Diana looked at his son now.

"Mom… I have some news for you… some pretty good news, so to speak…"

Reid was speaking and Diana paying attention to him now. She said:

"I can see something different in your eyes Spence…and I am already happy because I can see you are really happy…"

Reid smiled to his Mom and also Emily smiled. It was impressive how Reid could smile through the eyes as he spoke. The more he talked the more his eyes glistened. Diana said:

"It is true what they say that the eyes are the windows to our hearts and souls…I always see very sadness in your eyes… but right now your eyes are literally and figuratively smiling right back at me…"

"I… I'm really very happy, Mom… and it's because of this person here…"

He took Emily's hands on his, interlacing their fingers, in a way that only people that are in love do. Emily could feel her cheeks blush a bit now.

"You know, Mom that I never believe in marriage because to me people can deal all alone with their lives…and I always believe in that Orson Welles' quote that says: We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone… Well, I don't believe it is only illusion anymore… (he looked at Emily now)… because what we are living now is much, much more than real… and I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman here… (he looked at Diana again)… so, that is why we are getting married, Mom…"

Diana felt tears of happiness forming in her eyes. It was no secret that she had a concern about the future of her son, he being that way, so different. She said:

"Oh, my God… my boy… my little boy…" She said placing both hands on her mouth.

It was a very emotional moment for them. She got up pulling Reid's hand so he got up too and she gently hugged him. Emily also stood up, putting both hands in the back pockets of her jeans, a bit apprehensive, after all, she had not yet received the full approval of her mother-in-law. After hugging Reid for a long time, she finally hugged Emily, who felt a happiness and a relief. Diana said to her:

"Emily, I am so happy for Spencer and you. What he had told me about you is that you and him were not only close colleagues, but very dear friends, but I never imagined that... I can see the glow and happiness in his face and eyes. Thank you so much for doing this for him... I always wanted a daughter and now I will have one in you…" She said it holding both Emily's hands.

"It is Spencer I have to thank and be very lucky and grateful for having him in my life... He pulled me out of very dark places and dark times…. I thought like I had nothing to live for anymore… after all that happened to me…, but your son pulled me out of this. You should be proud of the man he is, and he told me how much you love him and took care of him and you are the main reason he is the wonderful man he is today… Spencer has the gift to pour out his heart and love to make us all stronger and that is what he did for me. We love each other so much and we make each other stronger and happier together…"

"So Mom, we're here to pick you up for our wedding which is on Saturday…" Reid said.

* * *

Well, they wanted to take the direct flight to DC still on Wednesday. So Reid signed the disclaimer to take his Mother out of the clinic for a few days, they got a small bag for her, and all that she needed like prescription drugs. They took up flying around two o'clock, and at ten o'clock at night they were already back to Reid's apartment. The apartment was very small. There was only one bedroom, one bathroom, a small kitchen and living room, as well as many books and encyclopedias. Reid did not need anything before, but now he realized that perhaps it was lacking more space. He said to his mother.

"Mom, I'll put your things in the bedroom… Until the wedding, you can have the bedroom…"

"I can stay here in the living room, Spence. I will not get you out of your bedroom…"

"We make it a point that you stay in the bedroom, Diana…" Emily said.

"You two are already living together?"

There was not a tone of reproach at all. She was just kind of surprised. Reid quickly rushed to respond:

"I could not stand one more day away from Emily, Mom. So, we are already living together…"

"It is this modernity that ended with all the romanticism…"

But she could not even dream that they had not taken any step, and their first time of them would still be very special. Well, but no one needed to know that.

Reid made a point to make sure that his Mother had taken all the medicine she needed. He stayed with her in the bedroom, waiting for her to sleep, and they talked a bit before she slept.

Emily and Reid spread some comforters on the floor of the living room. Reid closed the brown velvet curtain to muffle a little glare from city lights that were coming through the window, and lay down hugging Emily, together with comforters, whispering to her:

"I'm so happy…"

She smiled sweetly at him, making the dimples. He kissed the tip of her nose.

"I love you in a way I never thought I could love again…" She said.

"I feel exactly the same…I really loved Maeve, somehow I will always love her, like I know you will always love Mick, but I feel like just when I was feeling the love for the first time, someone took her from me, making me crazily sad, but now I know… and I am pretty sure of it… she was taken from me because there was a really special person that already were in my destiny…you…" He smiled at her.

"I love your smile…" She said.

"I want to see your smile…" She then started to tickle him on his belly, for him to smile and laugh more and more.

"Oh… Em… stop… Em…" He was asking as he was smiling and trying to stop her. After a while, he managed to hold her by the arms, and in a way he was practically lying over her, their eyes met, and mouths ... it was like a magnet, they kissed passionately.

After the long kiss, Reid snuggled Emily in his long arms. Suddenly he asked:

"…Any word from your Mom?"

"Well… I left many messages telling about the wedding… she is in Russia now and doubt that she makes it on time… She did not even call me back…"

"Maybe you could try again tomorrow…"

"I already gave up… I did my part in leave the messages for her. I told to her staff that I am her daughter… they do not quite believe in me…she is worst than a celebrity. I cannot get through to her, my own mother! Her staff just does not connect me to her, they must think I am a psychopath, or someone who wants to harm or jeopardize the government lying saying that I am her daughter…"

"I'm so sorry…" Reid said.

"Hmm, that is okay, I just need you… she, I already never had... so that does not make a difference to me.…"

"You already have me…"

* * *

Saturday, day of the wedding:

JJ and Penelope made a point of staying with Emily all the time during that day. Although they know it was supposed to be a happy day, both of them knew that Emily could have seizures remembering when she was getting married to Mick, and when Alyssa was born; or even remember about marrying Tucker, and all the sad farce that they had lived together. She could have a very strong crisis. But she had two awesome and true friends that would never let that happen. They sought Emily home in the morning, and they went to a beauty salon to get hair and nails done, the three of them.

Leaving the salon, they went straight for the country house that Reid had rent to celebrate the ceremony. They would finish getting ready there, on the inside of the place because the ceremony would be outdoors. It was a nice sunny day. There were some people finishing the place to get it ready for the wedding.

The three women were inside the place finishing getting ready. Outside, everything was ready for the ceremony.

It would be a beautiful outdoor wedding. The décor was rustic and simple, very delicate. There were a few round tables with white tablecloths and five white wooden chairs, around each table, and a beautiful vase of wildflowers gracing every table, in addition to the plates, cutlery and glasses. There were only few tables. Hotch was sharing a table with Beth, and Jack and Rossi. Will was in another table with Henry, and Derek, and Kevin, and Anderson. At another table, there were Blake and her family. At another table, there were Reid's parents, and who saw from afar, could said they made a great couple. There were some other people there, BAU colleagues. But there were just a few people there. The tables were on a lawn, there was a short passage decorated with white voile and wildflowers, for Emily to pass. There was a wooden table in the corner with some cupcakes arranged. Finally, there was a small wooden altar, where the judge would perform the ceremony. Some waiters would serve the guests. There was a sound environment with classical music, of course, typical Reid.

All of them were already there, talking, Reid had talked a lot with them all, and as Emily was taking a while longer to come, he went inside the place to try to see what was happening.

There was an in and out to the door of the place where the women were getting ready. It was a large room with multiple mirrors. Reid came stealthily, just trying to peer inside. Penelope saw him from inside. She runs to the door, saying to him:

"I will do anything to protect the tradition… it is bad luck and you do not want to tempt fate… I will kick you where it will hurt you, Boy Genius, if I have to, to stop you… she is almost ready… now, go to your correct place and wait for her…"

JJ also came to the door, saying:

"Shame you on, Spence…"

"Actually, despite this being one of the oldest rituals of weddings, this tradition comes from the time that marriages were agreed by the families and the man could not see his future wife to prevent him to repent at the last minute. But there is no scientific basis that proves that the success of the union between a couple who are in love has some connection with the groom seeing the bride dressed right before the wedding, this is just a superstition…."

"Shut up, Spence! The more time that you take here talking, the more time she will take ...Go outside...JJ said..

"You know my Chocolate God taught me and JJ some karate and self defense lessons and we will use it on you Reid if you do not listen to us…tell me what is the statistics show how many grooms get beat up by the bride mates before, closing the door in his face…." Penelope closed the door on his face.

Reid went outside and took his place on the altar, not before checking the sound because he would make a sweet surprise for Emily when she was coming to the altar, no one knew anything about that, and he saw the Ambassador coming:

Ambassador was coming with Emily's father. She did not seem happy. The high heels she was wearing were sinking in the grass, she complained:

"That is far from what I dreamed for Emily! Is it not enough that British guy and that lightning marriage out of a sudden without any pomp... Then, that drunk that I did not even consider anything but a complete insanity on her part, and now this! Look in what situation that this girl put me through!" She was complaining about everything without stopping.

Derek was passing, he heard what she was saying, he said:

"How dare you? You are suppose to be her mother, and be her number one support system… not the opposite…"

"How dare you to speak to me! I am not talking to you!"

"You want to promote a social politic event on her wedding in benefit of whom?" Derek kept saying.

"You better not say this again that Emily can hear….. This is supposed to be the happiest day of our life, not the saddest. You know your daughter deserve nothing but happiness after what she endured, so be our guest and please, pretend you are happy for her at least once in your life…" Reid said and he went to his place on the altar to wait for her.

After the Ambassador and her husband went to go sit at a table, Derek whispered to Reid's ears:

"Way to go, Pretty Boy, not only you are a genius, but a very tough and macho genius to boot, so feisty. I never seen that side to you before, but I love it! I am sure Emily rubbed off on you, she is the toughest and feistiest person I know…"

Reid then checked the sound and everything was prepared as he had agreed with the DJ. He was just a little agitated. His father tried to approach him, under the eyes of everyone, saying:

"How are you feeling, Spence, since you are getting into the team of responsible married men…"

"Oh, Dad… I've always been responsible… During all my life I always had a lot of responsibilities…so, that is not too much different to me… I will take care of my family and I always will take care of my mother. Nothing means more to me like family. Everyone should feel this same way and have this same priority but unfortunately that is not how it plays out in reality only in many people dreams…."

"I know, Spence, I know…I just like to say that I regret all my life for have left you and your Mom…"

Reid cut him off, saying:

"Dad, please, I don't think it is the right moment for this conversation now, even because there are some things that we just cannot get back and time is definitely one of them…"

"You are right, Spence… it is not the right moment..."

Reid was really agitated and a bit nervous, he was getting married, after all, after all these sad events, and he missed someone older as a reference in his life, like his father, but he could not just break all dozens of locks and padlocks that had been created between himself and his father. There were many barriers to be broken and maybe it would take a whole life. He just did not feel comfortable with his own father, who had become a complete stranger to him.

Experienced, super, best profiler of the world saw all the situation and Reid's father slowly moving away crestfallen, so he went to talk to Reid. Of course, I am talking about Hotch. He approached Reid, but before Hotch could say something, Reid said to him:

"I never understood why woman take so much time to get ready…"

"…Just think each minute she takes there… more beautiful she will be… for you…"

"That is something impossible since Emily is the most perfect woman in the entire Universe…"

Hotch smiles forming dimples, and said:

"You are really in love…"

Reid just smiled as an answer. Hotch said:

"In the beginning I was really worried because you and Emily were moving too fast, and I thought it was not good because both you and her could be just sugar-coating it, and still not facing your own realities, but now I can see you two are really in love, it's pretty clear…"

"You know, Hotch, it is not the time that we spend together as a couple which determines how much you love the person. I know Emily for a long time… I know everything about her, from the best qualities to the worst defects… from the long time that we worked together at BAU, and now through the pain she was feeling, I could see the light again, and people might think that I did something for her but it was she who filled my huge void, not only when Maeve left, but the huge void that I always felt… so, I am pretty sure about what I am doing…"

"I am so proud of you Reid. You have always been more than an employee to me, a friend and family member. Emily is dear friend too, so I am so happy for the both of you and I know you will make each other very happy and you both helped each other much from both equally difficult times and circumstances that others would have not recovered but you two did so beautifully…"

Emily was ready now, and also JJ and Penelope too. Henry was there with them because he would bring the wedding rings. She was wearing a dress down to the knees, satin champagne color, emphasizing the curves of her body and the dress also had some side folds, she was also wearing a wreath that was all made of wild flowers, as well as small bouquet she was carrying in the hands. Before she could leave the room, Penelope and JJ said to Emily:

Penelope: "Emily you make the most stunning and gorgeous bride ever, sorry JJ, no offense, you were too, but in Emily I see that inner glow in you that cannot be mistaken that is clearly present. I know you definitely deserve this moment, you and Reid, because you both been through so much. I want you to just look forward and ahead, do not look behind you anymore because what is ahead for you is only but happiness and brightness in your present and future with Reid…"

JJ: "Pen, no offense taken, Emily is the most beautiful bride I ever saw, and present company included. Garcia took most of the words I was going to say to you Emily, but I want to add these words and wishes. You have been my best friend during all these years that I know you, Emily. You were there holding my hand when I went to the hospital to give birth, and you were the one who saved Will's life in that train station. I have no words to express how much you mean to me, and I am so glad I can share this happy day with you because Spence is equally a dear friend to me too, that I am so happy for the both of you and I know you both will be very happy. All the best to the two of you as I know you both will be very happy…"

"Thank you"… Emily said to them.

The two women gave Emily a big hug as all the three women were now crying happy tears now. They walked into the large glass door leading to the ceremony place outside. JJ opened the sliding door, everyone looked at them, Emily was behind them. Henry would go first, then behind him, the brides maid, JJ and Penelope. When JJ opened the large door leading straight to the little altar, Reid quickly motioned to the DJ, and took the microphone on his hands. He waited for Henry to walk slowly through the path formed with white voile and wildflowers, then he waited for the bride maids, JJ and Penelope to walk up and join him. He was very nervous now. Emily stood in the doorway, standing, holding a small bouquet, before she could take the first step toward him, only twenty steps separated them now, Reid took the microphone and said:

"I just wanted to say a few words ..."

This caught everyone by surprise, including Emily. He continued talking:

"I never cared too much for modernity, computers, emails, patterns built, or popular songs, and I always felt like I was totally out of this world, like I did not fit in it… But….. lately, I've found that we can be touched by simple things of life….or even touch someone's heart at the same time….. I am experiencing this for the first time in my life…. that my high IQ would not let me before…. So, while my beautiful fiancé walks down that flowery path, I want to sing a song for her…."

Emily smiled at him from afar. The DJ let the music play, and Reid pretended then that only he and Emily were there. As she slowly walked up to him, he sang to her, along with the original song on the background:

I can see that you've been crying

You can't hide it with a lie

What's the use in you denying

That what you have is wrong

I heard him promise you forever

But forever's come and gone

Baby, he would say whatever

It takes to keep you blind

To the truth between the lines, oh...

I will love you more than that

I won't say the words

Then take them back

Don't give loneliness a chance

Baby listen to me when I say

I will love you more than that.

Baby, you deserve much better

What's the use in holding on

Don't you see it's now or never

'Cause I just can't be friends

Baby knowing in the end ... that ...

I will love you more than that

I won't say the words

Then take them back

Don't give loneliness a chance

Baby listen to me when I say

I will love you more than that.

There's not a day that passes by

I don't wonder why we haven't tried

It's not too late to change your mind

So take my hand, don't say goodbye!

I will love you more than that

I won't say the words

Then take them back

While he was singing, she was walking to meet him. She seemed to be floating. She was walking very slowly but even so, she got to the altar before he could finish singing. Reid, then, took her hand, and he kept singing the song to the end, looking at her eyes, it was really as if there are only the two of them there.

She could imagine the enormous effort he was making now. That was not like him at all. But for her, he was doing this, and she could see that. She was smiling sweetly at him, smiling through the bright eyes too, just like his eyes. As soon as the song was over, Emily whispered at him:

"Spence…"

He hugged her.

* * *

**Well, as you all saw, the music that I used was MORE THAN THAT, Backstreet Boys, because I thought it would fit perfectly for this moment. Please let me know what you're thinking. I'm sorry to stop the story in the middle of the wedding ceremony, but it was already really big. Please, please comment.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I own nothing**

* * *

While Spence was singing, Emily was walking to meet him at the altar. She seemed to be floating. She was walking very slowly but even so, she got to the altar before he could finish singing. He, then, took her hand, and he kept singing the whole song to the end, looking at her eyes, it was really as if there are only the two of them there.

She could imagine the enormous effort he was making now. That was not like him at all. But he was doing this for her, and she could see that. She was smiling sweetly at him, smiling through the bright eyes too, just like his eyes. As soon as the song was over, Emily whispered at him:

"Spence…"

He hugged her.

He handed the microphone to the DJ, and he kissed her on the cheek, near her lips, and both turned to the person who would perform the ceremony. The judge said:

"Dear newlyweds, having someone is a choice, staying together is a decision that requires commitment, total delivery, honesty and dedication. According to the holy book, happiness is when the husband has a virtuous and honest woman and happiness is when the wife who also has a virtuous and honest husband. Love is a very pure and divine essence, and never dies. But what is love? Pretty face ages, makeup leaves with water, beautiful skin wrinkles, gorgeous hair gets white, defined body falls, but the character remains, and if the love is still there it is because it is true. This is what one expects from the other here, in this marriage, and it is what we all want for you two.

"Spencer, do you accept Emily as your wife, promising to love her and respect her every day of your life?"

Holding both Emily's hands and looking deep in her eyes, he said:

"Yes…"

Emily do you accept Spencer as your husband, promising to love him and respect him every day of your life?"

She smiled just a little to him and:

"Yes…"

They exchanged the rings brought by Henry. Reid hugged her, kissed her on the forehead, then on the lips.

They signed books. All guests came to greet the bride and groom, and they danced and they were having a very good time at their wedding party.

Emily was talking to JJ and Penelope about women things while Reid was casually chatting with the men.

"I always knew you liked boy bands…" Hotch teased.

"Actually ..."

Morgan cut Reid off, saying:

"Oh Pretty Boy, C'mon I do not want statistics from you today, save your energy for later!" Morgan said placing his hands on Reid's shoulders.

Emily and Spencer were dancing to a romantic music now, just hugging each other.

Rossi was standing next to the table of Emily's mother. He was hearing the Ambassador mumbling to herself and her husband, complaining about every little thing about Emily life, saying how much she always mess up with her life and how she rushed into another marriage and how this one will be another mistake and disaster. How all this will ruin her political reputation. Emily's father said to her:

"Well, I don't agree with you, I think she will be happy this time, just like she was in her first marriage. And… you know what? I cannot stand you complaining anymore! I'm going to have a dance with my daughter! You excuse me Mrs. Peeve!"

Emily's father always used to do all Ambassador's wishes, she was the alpha of the relationship, always! But this time he dared to respond her. He went to take Emily to dance and left her speaking to herself. Rossi took that she was alone now, and approached the woman and said:

"Ambassador, excuse me, with all the respect, I cannot help hear you mumble and bitching to yourself about your daughter. I love her very much like my own daughter and I wish you would too, because from what I heard, she is only a tool to help you with your political career and reputation. She needed a mother and you were not there for her. She would have come to you but she knew you were always too busy for her so she never even bothered trying. When she lost her husband and baby girl, where were you? She needed her mother but you could never bother. Did you ever try to reach out to her? No your political career and ambitions always took precedent over her, your own flesh and blood. The pain was so severe she had to go to the darkness and she did not want to live so she turned to things that would harm herself, and to a very abusive man that beat her up so much that almost killed her. We found her handcuffed in a bed, almost lifeless, and you do not even try to know the medical report…. you would be horrified! She is still recovering emotionally and physically. You can at least be there for her now when you were not there when she needed you the most and you saying all these things about her will not help her. You need to change your attitude fast if you want to help her. Give her the love of a mother that she needs and deserve…. Go talk to her and help her heal totally emotionally, I know you love and care about her even though it does not look like it…"

Rossi pulled away, the woman did not dare to say a single word.

Emily's father approached the couple, who were dancing and said:

"I'm sorry, sir, but can I have a dance with my daughter?"

"Well, since I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her, yes, I can now allow this exception...…"

Emily smiled and she was dancing with her father.

During the dance:

"Emily, dear, I'm sorry for….. during your entire life, I have always supported your mother… and totally forgetting about you and your life…. Always going with her to all the places and countries, and worried about my own position as well… Always absent…"

"Oh, Dad, I know, you don't have to…"

"No, I want to Emily… I need to say how much I feel sorry about it… please… It is just you always demonstrate being so strong and independent that I just assumed you were totally independent and don't need us for anything… I am so sorry for not being there when you needed me the most… There is not a moment I never think of you and worry about you… I always have been busy being your mother political support and with my own position, even I am retired right now…when I should be supporting the most important person to me and that is you. I am so sorry, Emily, I want to always be there for you from now. Can you forgive me?... And know that I always loved and love you very much…"

"I love you too, Dad…"

"… you know…once, when you were only four years old, a team responsible for some scouts group came to fetch you at home, and we were puzzled because we had not authorized anything, and we went to check it out, you yourself had clipped an ad from the newspaper, you made your own inscription to them, and paid, and they came to fetch you but of course you could not go because you were still too young, and they thought you were older because you have done all of it all alone, do you remember that?"

Emily smiled and said:

"More or less…"

"…You were always so intelligent and independent…"

While Emily was dancing with her father, Spence was having a moment with his own parents who were sitting at a table with them. His father said to him:

"Spence, I am so happy for you…I am so happy because you invited me for your wedding. I wish someday you can forgive for having abandoned you…"

"Dad, it is not the time for this now…"

"I know, Spencer, but I don't know if I'm going to have another opportunity like this. Your Mom is here too, and I have to apologize to her too, I know that I left you two in the moment that you guys needed me the most... I have this load on my backs and I'll always have… but now I know that maybe things can get better between us and maybe we can get back the way we were before…"

"Look, Dad, we can have a start over… but we can never be like how we were before because there are some bonds that once they are broken, they can never be reconstructed again… But… of course… in the important moments like this… I will always remember you..."

"I want to be there for both of you, you and your mother, from now on. I missed so much the time we spend together I really want to try and make it up. I will be with you both more often now…"

Well, it was a nice talk. Ambassador was observing Emily during all the time, just waiting for an opportunity to talk to her, and she found a very appropriate time when Emily entered the house to go to the bathroom. Elisabeth Prentiss entered the house too, and she waited in the living room for Emily to get out of the bathroom. Ambassador was leaning on an old furniture. Emily appeared in the living room and saw her mother there, leaning on that furniture.

"Mother, is everything okay?"

Ambassador crossed her arms and:

"Well, Em, I'm the one that should be asking this you you: is everything okay?"

Despite having been, and still be, an excellent profiler, Emily could never 'read' her mother properly. She did not know about what the woman was referring to. She thought about it for a couple of seconds before replying:

"Hmmmm, yeah… everything… seems okay…"

"Emily I don't want to bring sad things to you in this special moment for you… but… I need to say some words to you…"

Emily was apprehensive, her lips dried up, and she began to swallow. There really are subjects that she really did not want to talk about now.

"Emily, I always had been an absent mother for you, I know this and you might think I don't regret this but I do. I really do. I know mothers are supposed to support their children for life, but as you know, I am only child too, and I was raised to be totally independent and strong, and I raised you the very same way… because it was all the I got in life…you know… people only give what they have… I've always been treated like a kind of machine and I just did the same thing to you… and I just want to say I'm sorry… I know… that... there is no way we can get back in time and that I can enter in your bedroom in the middle of the night and wipe away your tears because you were scared about some kind of monster being under your bed… but… I'd like you to know that from now on… I want to be more present in your life… and start to show all the love I really feel for you… if you give me the chance…"

Emily had tears in her eyes now, her mother kept saying:

"You have so many great friends at the BAU, and I can see that they have been like family to you. I am glad they were there for you when I could not, but you were in good hands with all of them… And I wish you be very happy in this marriage along with Spencer whom seems a very special person… And I hope this marriage be the last one!" She said trying to break the ice and make Emily at least smile a little.

Emily smiled a bit, but she could not hide the tears that were forming, and nor prevent them from falling at the same time when Spencer was coming to look for her:

"Emily, are you crying… are you okay?"

It broke his heart. He hated to see her cry. She wiped her eyes with her hands, and said to him:

"Yes, Spence, I am okay. I am just talking to my Mom…"

Reid gave a suspicious look to Emily's mother. Emily, very gently, said to him:

"Could you please just let us finish here… just a minute okay…"

"Okay... but... I am right there..."

"Mom, I cannot just pretend we are going to be best friends from now on, because so many things had happened to me that you could not even imagined, how dark my life became and I really don't want talk about this now, not today… But I know how much effort you had to do to come down off your pedestal and say all those things to me… But what I can say for now it is that I believe in you… I know that, in your own, and very particular way, you love me... and... I just can say that I love you, too…"

* * *

All of them went out of that wedding party with their souls a little lighter and full of hope, because for all that that two people had been through and they were managing to move on with their lives, it was a big example for everyone in there trying to deal with their own losses too: Rossi, with his first and lovely wife, along with his son; Hotch and everything that he had to face, the whole thing with Foyet and Haley; Garcia losing both mother and father at a age she needed them most; Derek seeing his own father being killed, and then the abuses; JJ and her suicidal dear sister. Finally, all of them had their own internal struggles and internal demons to fight and deal with, and Emily and Spencer just filled everyone's heart with hope and love giving them this big example of overcoming.

* * *

After the wedding ceremony, Spencer, Emily, Diana and Reid's father went home, to Spencer's apartment.

"So, is this where you live, Spence?!"

"Yeah …"

Only seeing books and more books and no radio or television, Reid's father said:

"I could not imagine something any different from this…"

"Well, William, I think you should go now, so that this beautiful couple can go too…"

"Go where, Mom?"

"Didn't you book a hotel or place for your wedding night?"

Reid was really disconcerted now, very embarrassed. He never even dreamed of discussing his honeymoon with his parents in front of his wife. Emily, of course, noticed the size of his embarrassment, and said:

"No, Diana, we'll stay here this night... We'll go to Vegas tomorrow, to take you, and then we have our trip to Europe… Then, we have our honeymoon…"

"I'm flying back to Vegas tomorrow... I can take Diana..."

"NO! … Dad, no… I want to take my Mom back, don't worry…"

"Don't talk about me as I could not take care about myself…"

"It is not that, Mom, it is my pleasure to take you back…and then me and Emily will travel… I have one month vacation now…"

"Well I better be going then..." William Reid said.

They said good bye and he went away.

* * *

"Spence… at least, take the bedroom… I can sleep on the living room tonight…"

"No, Mom…we are going to stay here…you can have the bedroom…"

"Please, Spence…"

"No, Diana, it is nothing that we are not … I mean… there is nothing new for both of us…"

Emily was trying to say that there was nothing new since they were already living together, implying that they have been sleeping together for months now, and that they had already had their first time a long time ago, then they could wait a few more days for their honeymoon. In fact, Emily was still trying to stall, she still did not know if she was ready to have her first time with Reid, after all the nightmare with Tucker. Reid was reading implied in her words: okay, Diana, we're not going to make love tonight. Yeah, he was a little disappointed.

Diana, then, said Good Night to them and went to the bedroom. Emily was still in the dress that she got married in, of course. Reid was still in his suit. He took off his jacket, the tie was already a bit loose, and he took off the tie too. It was just the two of them now. After taking the tie off and throwing his jacket on the couch, he pulled her into a big hug. He hugged her waist, saying:

"I'm so happy…"

"Me too…" She whispered.

They looked each other in the eyes.

Reid kissed her passionately. She broke the kiss in the moment that things became hotter. They stared at each other, and Reid knew at the moment that it would never going to happen, at least, not now. She excused herself:

"It… it's your Mom…she can…come…" She said, lying to him and knowing that he knew that she was lying. Yeah, it was an embarrassing and awkward situation.

"That's okay, Emily…and also… we are tired because of the party and stuff…"

He sat on the couch and he was taking off his shoes now, and different socks. She sat on a chair, and she was just watching him taking off his clothes and wearing the pajamas. After that, he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and etc.

Emily just stood there, thinking, maybe they should wait a little bit. Maybe it had been too fast. But, one thing she was sure: she did want to spend the rest of her life with him. She got up and started to undress herself to put on her pajamas. She was wearing very sexy underwear, white lace, paired with the beautiful bra. She took off the dress, the pantyhose, the heels, and she was only in her sexy panties and bra now, and trying hard to take off her pearl necklace, trying to unbutton on the nape, but it was really difficult. At that moment, Reid came into the living room, he was paralyzed seeing such a beautiful vision. He started swallowing hard. He just could not take his eyes off her. She smiled at him as if she was giving some kind of permission for him to continue looking at her almost naked body. As if the torture was not big enough, she said:

"Spence... I cannot get this necklace off, could you help me here please?"

Uh, God help me. I'll lean on her almost naked body... this is too much for me… even the most complicated formulas of kinematics, dynamics, statistics, hydrostatic or gravitation cannot help me now. He thought. And said:

"Uh, sure…"

He approached her from behind. She pulled her lightly curled hair to aside, leaving her nape and neck free to him. He could feel the smell of her perfume mixed with her own skin, and it was delicious. He could also feel the strong impact that that was having on his own body, and he prayed mentally. A little trembling, he managed to take off the necklace, but she stayed right there, and he stayed right there behind her. He gave the necklace to her over her shoulder, she took it, and she stepped just a very little back, in a kind of permission to him, and he immediately hugged her from behind, kissing her on the neck, as if he was very hungry. She bowed her head to give him more space. While kissing her on the neck, he was hugging her from behind, remembering she was only in her panties and bra. His hands was running trough her body now, belly, etc. He was caressing her belly very carefully and slowly his hands had been up to her breasts, even above the lace bra, it was a delightful feeling to him.

* * *

**Ops, not wanting to interrupt this wonderful moment, but already interrupting: more on the next chapter. And: please… take a few seconds to comment, and let me know what you are thinking. **

**Thank you!**


	19. Chapter 19

**I own nothing! Sadly! Hehe… Have fun… This chapter is special…**

* * *

Reid returned from the bathroom after brushing his teeth, dressed in his striped, long-sleeved pajamas, and was met by a vision that left him paralyzed and with dry mouth. Emily Prentiss standing only in her white lace panties, a bra and a pearl necklace that she was struggling to take off.

"Spence... I can't get this necklace off. Could you help me, please?"

Uh, God help me. I'll lean on her almost naked body... this is too much for me… even the most complicated formulas of kinematics, dynamics, statistics, hydrostatic or gravitation can't help me now, he thought.

"Uh, sure…" he said.

He approached her from behind. She pulled her lightly curled hair to the side, leaving the nape of her neck free to him. He could feel the smell of her perfume mixed with her own skin, and it was delicious. He could also feel the strong impact that it had on his body, and he prayed to himself. With trembling and sweaty hands he managed to take off the necklace. Reid expected her to move, but she stood still, and the fact that she had been standing there for more than two seconds was a big invitation for him. He gave the necklace to her over her shoulder. She took it, and he immediately hugged her from behind, kissing her on the neck, as if he was very hungry. She bowed her head to give him more space. While kissing her on the neck and hugging her from behind, he remembered that she was only in her panties and bra. His hands ran over her body. He caressed her belly and his hands went up to her breasts, even above the lace bra. It was a delightful feeling.

Holding her almost naked body, Reid turned her to face him, and captured her lips with a desperate hunger, hugging her tightly by her waist.

And Emily returned the kiss. She really wanted to get carried away with their love, without fear of Tucker's ghost haunting her. She wanted to do this for Reid and for her too, but when she felt his body against hers, and she felt that he was more than horny, more, much more, she didn't know if she would make it, so she started to feel the need to break the kiss. Reid realized immediately and he turned away from her, going to the other side of the living room, very far away from her.

"Emily, if nothing's gonna happen you'd better dress in something that covers your body. If I could, I would sleep this night in China because it's been totally unsustainable for me to be by your side, especially when your body is the most perfect of all that I've seen… I haven't seen that many women in panties and bra before, but I've seen many in bikinis and your body is perfectly proportioned to the extent of the arms, legs... Only a few husbands don't make love to their wife during the wedding night…"

"Spence, I'm so sorry... I want you as much as you want me. I never intended for this to happen. I thought I was over this ghost of that awful man, but he's still haunting my spirit and soul. I just need a little more time as I'm very close to get over this. I'm really sorry, you don't deserve this and I definitely don't deserve a sweet, loving and patient husband like you, but thank you so much for being with me when I most needed you, Spence. I love you so much. Please don't forget this even though my rejection might seem the opposite for you, you will always be my number one…"

"This doesn't make me feel better…" He said, looking down, almost whispering.

"The only thing I can do right now is to say I'm sorry, I really am. I'm trying my best, and for tonight the furthest away from each other we can stay is if I'm sleeping on the duvet on the floor and you on the couch…" Emily said.

She got dressed in her pajamas and arranged the duvets on the floor so she could lie down. She put one of the duvets on the couch for him and a pillow too. Reid was just watching, kinda of bland. She lay on the duvet and covered herself, saying to him:

"Good night, Spence…"

Reid, however, turned off the lights, leaving only the light of the moon through the window. He grabbed his pillow and placed it on the floor beside her, and lay down. She turned to face him, and he got under the covers with her. Both were fully dressed in their pajamas. He hugged her under the duvet and said:

"I totally understand and I will wait a lifetime for you because our love is not about sex… even though my body parts are bothered... almost in pain and it's all your fault because you are so gorgeous and beautiful... Our love is about our heart and souls connecting. You are so wrong saying that you don't deserve me, when in reality we both deserve to be happy after what we've both been through. So, don't worry Emily, I'm very happy right now even though I wish we could express our love with lovemaking, but this will make our first time even more special no matter how long before that time comes…"

She smiled and whispered to him:

"I love you…"

He kissed the tip of her nose and they slept embraced.

* * *

At the clinic in Vegas:

"Spence, Emily, you two didn't have to bring me here, but I really appreciate you doing it. It's so nice to feel loved and know that the most wonderful and brilliant person is my son…Thank you so much, Spencer…"

* * *

From Vegas, they flew straight to Europe, more precisely to Portugal because they would make a tour passing by Portugal, Spain, France and Italy. Reid had scheduled a few museums and historical places for them to visit.

* * *

They slept on the flight to Portugal, because they would arrive in the morning. Reid hadn't booked a hotel because they would spend three or four days in each country, in the cities where the places they wanted to visit were.

* * *

In Portugal, they found a cozy hotel in the city of Porto. They left the luggage at the hotel and went out to visit the places. During the three days they stayed there, they visited the main tourist things. They were very happy and had a great time together. They walked around and visited places, hugging each other all the time.

* * *

From Portugal, they went to Spain to visit the tourist places of that country. They also found a cozy hotel there. They went out at night for dinner, walking hand in hands, or sometimes hugging each other.

* * *

The hotel that they stayed at in Spain was simple. It was a very old and rustic building. There was a small balcony in their room, which was decorated with flowers, and the silk curtains moved, because of the mild evening breeze. Emily stood on the balcony looking at the beautiful landscape, while Reid finished taking a bath before they had to sleep. It was late. They had walked the whole day so they were really tired, and the following day, they would leave for France.

* * *

Emily wasn't wearing her flannel pajamas with long sleeves. She was wearing a black satin sweater, very short and a matching robe over. She was in black panties, but no bra. Reid came out of the bathroom. He was in his pajamas because he would not take the risk of wanting to make love to her as she wasn't ready yet. He saw that she was on the balcony, and walked over there, hugging her from behind, while kissing her on the cheek. She said:

"Spence, I could never ever dream of such beautiful honeymoon and beautiful places you are taking me to…"

"I'm enjoying all of this too. You know, I always wanted to know Europe… I mean… I've been here before as I know you have too. I know you lived here in different countries, but I also know this is a different view. You know... Europe continent is a million years old, and is considered the cradle of occidental culture. It's pure history. I feel like I'm diving into the books of ancient history…"

"I lived here, like you said, but I never went to visit any interesting places like this…"

"You know… people tend to visit the main tourist spots as the EiffelTower, Big Bang, Colosseum, Leaning Tower of Pisa, which is cool too, but sometimes this doesn't add too much for our existence as to visit the museums…"

She turned to face him, still hugging. She smiled and said:

"You are so right, Spence... You are totally right… You are something out of this world… I'm really lucky to have you…"

He looked at her. His hair was still wet because of the shower, and his skin was still smelling of the bath. While putting some of her hair behind her ear, he said:

"I'm the lucky one, Emily…"

They started kissing. It was a passionate kiss, their tongues dancing in the same rhythm, intertwining each other, sending pleasurable sensations for both bodies. Slowly, without breaking the kiss, they got back into the room and walked slowly until the back part of Emily's knees leaned against the edge of the bed. Without breaking the kiss, she pulled him down on the bed, over her. They were still kissing and Emily took off the top of his pajamas. He just broke the kiss to make it easier to get it off. Before kissing her again, he gave her a look as if he wanted to know if this was what he was thinking it was. She only opened her mouth and it was a yes for him. He kissed her again, and Emily held him by his hair and naked backs. Reid then started kissing and licking her neck, and mouth again as his hands roamed over her body. He pulled himself back, just a little, only to be able to get rid of the three ropes that bind the black satin sweater she was wearing. The sweater opened, and he saw the most wonderful thing in the world, a pair of wonderful and juicy breasts. He could never have imagined that one day that would be his. He felt like a child dipping inside a pool with melted chocolate. Those breasts with those lit nipples, ready for his mouth.

"You are so beautiful!" He whispered to her. It was much more than the international declaration of human rights. "You are fucking perfect…" He corrected.

Emily pulled his head against her body again because he was almost drooling over her. They were kissing on the mouth now, and slowly he was licking and kissing her from the mouth to the curve of her neck, and Emily guided him with her hands, through his silky hair. His hands were now playing gently with her nipples, causing them to stay even more lit as he was savoring every inch of her soft skin.

Emily was only in her sexy panties now and Reid only in his pajama pants and underwear. They were totally wrapped in their desires and lusts now, and in the delicious sensations that one was causing to the other. While using his skillful magic fingers to play with one of her nipples, his soft and fleshy mouth gently grabbed the other nipple in his mouth, causing Emily let out a short moan. Reid worked gently but effectively on her nipples, moving his tongue and sucking. Emily closed her eyes, and gave herself completely to the pleasure he was giving her. He didn't know much about sex, but now he was just letting his body be guided by all the emotions he was feeling, as if the desire had its own life.

Reid sucked on her nipples, taking turns going back and forth, giving both nipples equal sucking. He wanted to enjoy both of those perfect mountains. He was sucking on her nipples, just tasting the delicious taste. Then he moved his tongue over her breasts and he was slowly kissing the top of her body everywhere.

His hand moved down across her, skimming over to her thigh. Slowly he pulled her legs apart and ran his hand over her soft skin inside her panties. He felt her body retract under his touch. Her fingers pulled at his hair, giving him permission to continue. The soft touch of his hand between her legs sent a surge of desire through her body. She moaned, whispering his name. Emily felt the tip of his finger at her opening. Her body stilled in anticipation and then she felt him slide his finger inside her slightly. He watched her reaction to his touch. Emily's eyes were closed and she was in her own little world. He pushed his finger in deeper and then deeper again. He could feel that she was already wet.

Emily's moans grew heavy and long. Reid laid himself between her legs and kissed her softly, at the same time as he got rid of his pajama pants and underwear. Emily wrapped her arms around him, pushing her hips up towards his body. His hard cock rested on her between both of their bodies. He slowly began to move up and down against her, while he was working on taking off her panties so they both were totally naked.

He kissed her hard. He pulled his hips back and positioned himself at her opening. He pushed the tip of himself inside her. His hands tightened around her shoulders. Emily gasped with pleasure. He stopped and gazed at her, waiting until she looked back at him. Emily locked eyes with him and saw something she had longed to see forever. Reid was about to get deep inside her for the first time after months of painful waiting, but unfortunately Emily opened her eyes, staring at the white ceiling, and then at the walls, apprehension and fear gripping her. It was uncontrollable, but now it was Reid who was locked in his own little world, wrapped in emotions too strong to realize something. She began to see hundreds of cockroaches climbing the walls and she felt as if Tucker was raping her again. The feeling was so strong that she could even feel the smell of the alcohol. She started breathing fast, and moaning, but it was not a moan of pleasure, but of pain. She began to push on Reid's shoulders to get him off. She was crying now, and it was like a demonic sensation trampling her so violently that she was seeing Tucker instead of Spencer, and she began to cry.

"Stop, stop, get off me, stop…" She yelled out loud.

Reid was so frightened that he quickly got off her, putting his underpants on, and half not knowing what to do. The fright of it all had made him lose his erection at the same time. At that point, it was good. He sat on the bed next to her again.

"Emily, it's me, Spence. What happened?"

"Leave me alone, get away! DO NOT TOUCH ME!" She yelled.

She wrapped herself in a sheet, ran to the bathroom and locked herself inside. She turned on the shower, and sat under it, letting the water fall, just as she always did after getting raped by Tucker. And she wept a lot, cursing Tucker and herself for having to put herself in that situation, and fearing never to be able to get out of it. Reid knew that she needed this moment alone, and he left her that way.

After nearly an hour in the shower, Emily grabbed a towel. She dried herself and put on the bathrobe. She looked in the mirror and saw her image, eyes red and swollen, and her heart ached for Spencer. This made her cry again, but for a different reason. She opened the bathroom door. Reid was sitting on a chair, staring into the ground, apprehensive, worried about her, shaking one leg, in a kind of nervous tic. As she opened the door, he stood up. She looked at him. He walked up to her.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" she said.

For now, he just pulled her into a big hug. She cried in his chest and moved his hands over her back to try to calm her down. After a little while, he said:

"Emily, he can't hurt you anymore. He's only in your mind and head right now. Just get it out of your thoughts. Just focus on my voice and see only me, Emily… I love you and he can't hurt you ever again because he's locked away, rotting in jail right now…"

Reid stayed there, saying beautiful things to her and kissing her on the forehead, hugging her so tight while she continued to cry and he calmed her as the cries slowly subsided.

Emily was calmer now, and they got into bed, totally dressed this time.

"Spence… I'm so sorry again… I really want to make love to you... I really felt that I was ready and I love you so very much… However I don't know when those demons will haunt me…I don't know if one day I'll be able to get rid of those demons completely... I am very sorry, Spence…"

"Emily, you're the most precious thing that has happened in my life. I don't want to lose you and I enjoy being with you and just hugging you to sleep. I just want to be a part of you when I'm working on a case. Of course I want to make love to you, but sex is a very small part of the love I feel for you…"

He kissed her on the forehead and they slept.

* * *

The next day, they went to France, where they visited the Louvre, among many other interesting attractions.

They checked into a small hotel in Paris, and Emily was looking for one of the earrings that she had left on the dresser. She yelled to Spencer that was still in the bathroom. They were getting ready for another walk:

"Spence… did you see my other earring?"

He came from the bathroom, and showed her the earring inside one of his hands.

"Is it this one?"

"Yeah…"

When she was about to pick up the earring from his hand, he closed it and said to her:

"Come get it…" And he walked away from her, in a kind of catch-up game.

"C'mon, Spence, give me back my earring…"

"Then come get it…"

"Don't make me…" She started to run after him around the bedroom.

Of course he let her take his tightly closed hand. She held his hand in hers.

"Open your hand Spence…" she said.

"Do you want me to open my hand?"

"Yes…" She said smiling.

He opened his hand but instead of an earring, there was a small red heart shaped figure with the text "I love you" on it.

She gave him a big smile and her eyes were shining.

"How did you do this… I saw the earring!"

She was amazed. He smiled at her.

"Well, a magician never tells his secrets…" he said.

"I love you too, Spence…"

They kissed passionately.

* * *

Later they found themselves walking through the streets of Paris, sometimes holding hands, sometimes embraced, and through more magic tricks she always got surprised by Reid.

They were now in a coffee shop to get some cappuccino. They sat at a small round table, facing each other. The place was very cute and cozy. Reid asked the waiter for two cappuccinos, and the waiter placed a two large cups in front of them and left. Reid stirred the liquid a little with the spoon in his cup, while Emily tasted a bit of hers.

"Emily, I think yours is mine…and mine is yours…" he said.

"Spence, the two cups are the same content…"

"No, they're not…"

"Didn't you order two cappuccinos?"

"Yeah, but I am sure this one is yours…"

"Whatever!"

Reid then passed his cup to her, and she passed her cup to him.

Emily was curious to taste the other capuccino to know if there really was any difference between the two, but before she could prove it, she looked into the cup, and something was written with whipped cream. It had a heart drawn with whipped cream and inside the heart was her name. She smiled widely at him.

"Spence…"

"This is my heart and what I have inside…" He smiled at her too.

Her smile reached both her mouth and eyes.

"I love seeing you smiling…" Reid said.

"And I love you…" She said, in happiness.

And Reid was all the way making little romantic magic tricks and surprises for her.

* * *

A few days later, they moved on to Italy, more precisely in Venice. They had gone on the gondola, and visited interesting places as well. From there, they went to Rome. At night they went out on foot to find a good pizza place for them to dine. They were sitting at a table, looking at the menu, and Reid said:

"Wait a minute... I'm going out there… It's pretty fast…"

She frowned and said:

"Okay…"

Reid was outside the restaurant. In fact, he had spotted a florist passing away and he wanted to buy her flowers.

Emily suddenly felt a hand on her right shoulder. She turned to see who it was.

"John?"

* * *

**Well that person coming from her past, a part of her life that she did not share with her husband or many others. Will Emily tell Reid everything about John, and what happened? If she does, will this bring them even closer, or it will this pull them further apart? Please stay tuned to find out and please continue to give me your thought, suggestions and comments like you are all beautifully always doing so. Thanks very much for reading and all your thoughts.**


	20. Chapter 20

**I own nothing**

* * *

A few days later, they went to Italy, more precisely to Venice. They had gone on the gondola, and visited interesting places as well. From there, they went to Rome. At night they went out on foot to find a good restaurant for them to dine. They sat by a table, looking at the menu, and Reid said:

"Wait a minute... I'm going out there… I'll be right back…"

She frowned and said:

"Okay…"

Reid went outside the restaurant. In fact, he had spotted a florist passing them and he wanted to buy her flowers.

Emily suddenly felt a hand on her right shoulder. She turned to see who it was.

"John?"

Emily stood up to greet her old friend. She was not embarrassed. She was just a little surprised and he was very happy to see her.

"Whoa! Emily! You're here! So… Here to stay? I hope…" He said, hopefully.

"No…" she said in a moan. "I'm just visiting…"

Spencer Reid went back into the restaurant, awkwardly, holding the small bouquet of flowers behind his back. Of course he remembered the man who was talking to his wife. He had an eidetic memory after all, but he didn't know the story behind the man.

Spencer approached them and John quickly stopped smiling.

Emily said to her husband:

"Hey, Spence, you remember, John, right?"

"Sure…"

Spencer reached out politely to greet the man. John returned the favor and tried to imagine what they were doing there together in Italy. Perhaps they had been sent to some secret investigation, but soon he found out. Spencer turned to his wife.

"This is for you!" He said and handed her a small bouquet.

"Thank you, Spence! They are beautiful. You are so lovely…." She hugged him with both hands around his neck, and he hugged her around the waist.

John didn't know what to do during the couple's intimate moment.

"Well, Emily, it was very nice to see you… I'm going… Call me sometime…" he said.

"Okay…" She said to him, and the man walked away. Suddenly that restaurant had become too small for him.

It was a typical Italian restaurant, with many glass windows. It was dim and cozy. Spencer and Emily was at a table next to the windows. Emily sat at a table near the window with Spencer at her side. The seat was like a velvet sofa with two seats. They sat side by side. They ordered pasta with lots of red sauce, and cheese. During the meal, Spencer said to her:

"So it seems that your friend didn't like me…"

"It's impossible not to like you, Spencer…"

"Huh, then why did he make that disappointing face when I showed up?"

Without much ado, she said to him:

"We had a thing in the past…"

He looked at her. Just curious, he asked:

"…A thing?"

"Yeah… nothing serious, but somehow he left me two big scars…"

"If you want to share, I'm here," He offered.

"Do you want to know?" She asked.

"Only if you want to tell me…" He said.

"I don't want to unearth bad feelings right now since we're having so much fun and I'm so happy by your side, Spence. So, here's a resume: we met when we were young. I was fourteen and he and Mathew, that guy from the case, were sixteen. I had just moved with my family to Italy and people at school started to make fun of me so they kind of became my two protectors and after about a year, we got involved. It was a teenager thing, but I really enjoyed his company… I thought that it was a relationship until I saw myself pregnant and I told him and he just said that he couldn't do anything… He said that his parents would be really angry and he didn't want that…

Yeah… he kinda broke my heart and that unborn baby will always be a hole in my soul… I know that I will carry this forever… this… guilt..."

Of course she didn't have to say that she had had an abortion. Reid could read it perfectly, and he didn't want to bring it up, not now.

"Do you want some more wine?" He asked, already holding the bottle.

"Sure…" She smiled sweetly at him.

Spencer knew that Emily was a mysterious and reserved woman, but an abortion was something he hadn't expected, but hey, she had only been fifteen and she had a robot instead of a mother.

They finished eating. Reid wiped his mouth with a napkin, and placed it on the table beside his empty plate. Then he turned to his wife, who also had finished eating. Her mouth was open an inch. He said:

"You have red sauce on the lips…"

Quickly she tried to catch her napkin that was still on her lap, but he stopped her, holding her hand gently. She looked at him. He looked all over her face and said:

"Let me clean it…"

He approached her, so that their lips were very close. Then he gently licked the red sauce that was on her lips. He gave two or three licks, and it sent a feeling of pleasure through her body. It was quick and easy for them to deepen the kiss. It was a delicious kiss, even with the taste of sauce, but mostly the taste of tongues dancing together in a tasty rhythm. Until she broke the kiss and whispered to him:

"Hey… Spence, we're in the restaurant!"

"I know that…." He said trying to continue kissing her.

"Spence! Naughty boy… I didn't know this side of you…" she said, smiling at him.

"…Neither did I…" He said, smiling at her, too. "You're making me find out things about myself that I didn't even know about me, Emily…"

They wanted to kiss again, but instead of kissing, they paid the bill and went out.

Spencer and Emily were walking hand in hand, through the beautiful streets of the old center of Rome. They were now on the bridge of Sant Angelo Castle. Emily stood on the edge of it, and Spencer hugged her from behind, resting his chin on her left shoulder so they were cheek to cheek, looking at the beautiful river under the bridge, to the reflections of the full moon and starry sky on the water. It was a beautiful night and they were very happy. After some time in complete silence, embracing each other, Spencer said to her:

"You know, Emily, a star is a massive, luminous sphere of plasma held together by its own gravity. Our nearest star is the Sun, which is the source of most of the energy on Earth. Some other stars are visible from Earth during the night when they are not obscured by clouds or other atmospheric phenomena, appearing as a multitude of fixed luminous points due to their immense distance. Historically, the most prominent stars were grouped into constellations and asterisms, and the brightest stars gained proper names. Extensive catalogues of stars have been assembled by astronomers, which provide standardized star designations. Most stars are between 1 billion and 10 billion years old. Some stars may even be close to 13.8 billion years old—the observed age of the universe. The oldest star yet discovered, HE 1523-0901, is an estimated 13.2 billion years old. The more massive the star, the shorter its lifespan, primarily because massive stars have greater pressure on their cores, causing them to burn hydrogen more rapidly. The most massive stars last an average of a few million years, while stars of minimum mass, red dwarfs, burn their fuel very slowly and last tens to hundreds of billions of years…"

Emily listened to everything he was said, but she had not filtered anything. When Reid was about to start to talk again, she turned to face him.

"Shut up, Spencer…" She said, smiling seductively.

He was a little surprised.

"What?" He asked, frowning.

"I'm absolutely sure you know very well how to use your mouth for something else, besides talking…"

Well, that was an invitation. He pulled her body even more near to him, tightening the hug and said:

"Are you?"

"Yes…" She whispered to him, thirsty, waiting for the kiss.

"Hmm, and…. What is that?"

"Your lips… You are very good with talking, but you're light years better on other thing…"

Their mouths were very close. He whispered before finally kissing her:

"I'm dying to show you everything I can do with my mouth…"

And Emily mentally cursed the fact that she had to end up getting her period exactly that day.

* * *

That same night, at the hotel, they got into bed, ready to sleep. Despite the wonderful moment that they had together, Spencer badly wanted to try to make love to his wife again, but he was afraid of her reaction. He was waiting for her to take the initiative. They hugged each other under the covers and Emily lied on his chest. She said to him:

"…Spence?"

"…Hmm?"

"I think I'm almost ready…"

Spencer got a smile on his face when hearing that, and kissed her on the head.

* * *

A few days later, they got back to Quantico. It was a Monday morning when they arrived to the small apartment of Reid, and that he shared with his wife now. Emily was in their room, unpacking. Reid was talking to JJ on the phone:

"I just got here and I'm going to the BAU…"

"But Spencer, your vacation ends at the end of the week…"

"I can come back before... I've been out for a long time… Hotch might need me..."

"You're always indispensable Spence, but we have to consider the paperwork issues... Hotch will not want you here if you're actually still on vacation on paper… Trust me…"

"Hey, Spence, let me talk to her…." Emily asked.

"Hmm, okay, JJ, wait a minute, Emily wants to talk to you…"

"Hey, JJ!"

"Hey, Emily! We have to make a girl's night out for like tomorrow! I want to know everything about your trip! And I bet Pen wants it too!"

"It's exactly what I was about to say… I brought gifts for everyone… We can arrange a meeting…. I mean with everyone on the team…"

"Yeah, we can do that… It could be at my place since I don't think you have space in that small apartment…"

"I will take this offer, JJ… Let's settle a date…"

"Yeah, but then a girl's night's out with only you, me and Pen… like old times…"

"Yeah… You beat me…"

* * *

The elevator doors opened, and Reid came out of it. Through the glass doors at the BAU, he saw David Rossi sitting on the edge of Derek Morgan's desk. Somehow, he missed it, but he knew he would have to face the taunts of his player friend. Reid had expected to be teased by his BAU family, especially Derek because Morgan was always so experienced with pleasing women sexually, and he would surely be teasing Reid about his honeymoon, Derek then said to Reid:

"Ooohhh, Pretty Boy, what is shaking? I heard there was a lot of Earthquakes in all the European cities you and Emily honeymooned in. The whole grounds were shaking like crazy, am I right? I can see now that you are floating on air, care to share with us, Reid?"

JJ and Garcia came to join them as well. JJ and Garcia then both smacked Derek on the head at the same time.

David Rossi was just observing. He didn't dare to say anything.

"Hello to you too, Morgan…"

Reid passed him and walked over to his own desk. He left his bag there, and came back to talk to Rossi and Morgan.

"So, any good statistics about your honeymoon that you can share with us…" Derek asked.

"I'm sure that they had a great time, Derek. I can see our Boy Genius is actually blushing for the first time. His face is red as an apple. Maybe we should cut him some slack and not ask for details…" Rossi said.

Of course Reid was not going to mention the sad thing that until now, nothing had happened. Rossi was kind, imagining that there was something wrong just because of the way Reid had gone directly to his desk after a long honeymoon in Europe with the woman he was in love with. He was supposed to be happy and share his happiness, but he didn't say anything to give Morgan the chance to embarrass the young doctor.

"Well, everyone, the honeymoon was great, and statistics show that the majority of people don't share the intimate details of a honeymoon even with their best friends like you because it's a very private matter between the said couple and I would like it to stay that, but all I can tell you is that Emily and I had a great time and we are very happy. That is all you need to know and this is mostly for you Derek since you are the one asking…"

Thus, Reid was back to work, while Emily went back to therapy, and taking care of the apartment, giving a feminine touch to the place.

* * *

Ten days had already passed since they came back from Europe. It was a Wednesday and they were having dinner, after another day of work and another case solved for Reid. The day was pretty normal for them. After dinner, Reid said to her:

"Emily, I brought an original version of the film The Mirror, original in Russian... Do you want to watch it with me?"

She had no idea what movie it was, but she loved his company, especially now that he had returned to work, and sometimes he used to spend days out.

"Sure, I'll just wash the dishes, and make some popcorn for us…" she replied.

"Oh well, meanwhile I'll take a bath and put the duvets on the floor…"

When he went out of the small kitchen she said:

"I love the idea of duvets on the floor…"

He could still hear her, and smiled to himself.

Who knew that one day he would no longer be ashamed for having such a small and uncomfortable sofa. Yeah! It looked like he had found the right person. He couldn't feel happier so now he had a small smile on his lips all the time.

Emily left the popcorn popping in the microwave and came into the living room. He was still arranging the duvets on the floor.

"So I'll take a quick shower, while you finish arranging the duvets…" she said.

He smiled to her and said:

"Okay…"

Reid was wearing his long sleeved, blue pajamas. He placed three duvets on the floor for them to lie on, and he got two pillows, leaning against the small sofa for them to support their backs. He also saved a duvet for them to cover themselves with. Emily came out from the bathroom, also with an unsexy flannel pajamas, but they were happy. Lying on top and under the many duvets, they could not feel happier, with only the light from the old television illuminating the place. They had their backs against the pillows with a bucket of popcorn between them.

The movie they were watching was called The Mirror. It depicts the thoughts, emotions and memories of Alexei, or Alyosha (Ignat Daniltsev), and the world around him as a child, adolescent, and 40 year old. The adult Alexei is only briefly glimpsed, but is present as a voice over in some scenes including substantial dialogues. The structure of the film is discontinuous and non-chronological, without a conventional plot, and combines incidents, dreams and memories along with some newsreel footage. The film switches among three different time frames: prewar (1935), wartime (1940s), and postwar (1960s or '70s).

It was a very interesting movie and they were really enjoying it. During the movie, their bodies were getting closer and closer, and since it was a long movie and, as the time was passing, they snuggled into each other's arms, until they were lying amid the duvets on the mounds of pillows and the popcorn bucket was far away. They lied on their sides. Spencer hugged her from behind with both arms around her waist, and she was holding his hands all the time. This was the scene during the end of the film. Just before the end credits, Emily grabbed Spencer's hand, and began to bring it closer to her breasts. As soon as his fingers touched the bottom of her breasts, he realized that she was braless, and he swallowed hard. 'No, not again', he thought, but he just let himself be guided by her hand. Emily then continued to guide his hand over her breasts, nipples and everywhere, so that it now looked like his hand had already its own life. He was groping her breasts as he kissed her neck and shoulder to where her pajamas allowed. Emily, meanwhile, was feeling the bulge inside of his pants on her back and ass. After a while, she turned to face him, she was now lying on her back, looking at him who was leaning over her. He was very careful not to take any chances since it might fail again. She whispered to him:

"I want you Spencer…"

Of course he would not let her wait a moment longer. He kissed her on the mouth, a wet, slow, passionate, hungry kiss. During the kiss, Emily shoved her fingers through his hair, and Spencer was working on unbuttoning her pajamas. He broke the kiss because he wanted to see her beautiful breasts, and sat for a little while just looking at them. He took off his own pajamas, leaving him in only his underwear. They were kissing each other and he quickly took off her pajamas pants too, so she also was only in her panties.

Of course Spencer Reid had had his own experience in sex, but sex was an easy thing to do and get. He knew that this time it was something much bigger. It was much more than sex only by instincts: it was making love, and this required some knowledge, skills and attitude. To fuck someone was an easy thing to do, but to really notice the person in front of you was a much deeper thing and Reid could read Emily perfectly. Not only because it was what he did for a living, but because he knew her deepest feelings and weaknesses, the kind of things that only your soulmate has the privilege to know.

After a long time just kissing each other passionately, and hands everywhere, as if he would open a gift, he slowly took off her panties. The TV was already off by itself because the movie had ended, so only the light of the moon was invading the place and it was good to see each other's naked bodies just under the moon. Spencer got rid of his underwear too, and got under the covers, fitting his body perfectly between her legs, while his tongue played with one of her nipples, and his hand giving equal attention to the other. Emily arched to him, holding his head by his hair as he was suckling delightfully interspersed between the two nipples. Both of them had fucking delicious sensations, but there was no way that he didn't fear the next step, as he was already at a point of pain. He needed her, and he needed her now.

Emily had feelings of pleasure while Reid was licking and sucking her breasts, and when she felt his erection touching her entrance, she arched to him again, closing her eyes and biting her lip. She knew she was ready, but she also feared the ghost of the past haunting her. Reid hovered over her, but before he made the move to get inside her, he stopped and whispered to her:

"Open your eyes…"

Completely taken by pleasure, she was breathing hard and her mouth was dry. She opened her eyes for him, her mouth slightly open and long breaths. He whispered again:

"Look at me all the way…"

Their eyes locked on each other now, and Emily breathed more through her mouth than through the nose, making her mouth even drier. Reid was about to enter the wonderful world of Emily Prentiss, for the first time, but first he only used his right hand to check if she was really ready for him. As his fingers touched her silky wet folds, she opened up her mouth a little more, and he looked into her eyes. Then, he made the first move to get into her, Emily moaned, and he pushed his erection slowly, watching for her reactions. Emily arched her back, and closed her eyes again.

"Open your eyes, Emily…". He whispered and she did. "Just look into my eyes…"

He really wanted Emily to focus on him all the time, fearing that if she closed her eyes, Tucker could invade her thoughts.

And slowly he started to move inside her. She was moaning and breathing hard now.

Who would have known that Spencer Reid was a very talented kid on that too. Emily was in a world of pleasure, but she had mentally reserved the question for later. Where the fuck did he learn these things? In books? Well, she left that for later, because she was enjoying every second and every trip he was doing inside her body. She felt satisfied, and full, physically okay. She could feel his erection in and out, in and out, of her, but it was occupying every bit of her being. It was as if he had flooded her inside, flooding with Love.

As Spencer gradually accelerated the pace, he could notice the changes in her body. She now had a flushed face, a pounding heartbeat, her breathing increasing faster and faster, and those moans of pleasure. Her fingers pressed his back against her body, as if wanting to help with his movements, and her moans were increasing fast, and when he realized that she was about to come, he asked again:

"Open your eyes to me...". She did. "Yes…that way…" He whispered, having a hard time to talk too, because he also was breathing fast, working on his own orgasm.

She moaned and opened her mouth, and moaned again, but she tried to keep looking into his eyes. And the moans were getting louder and louder and faster and faster.

"Yes, Emily, my love, come for me… come for me, baby…" He whispered as he thrust into her faster and faster.

"Spence…" She said before the final and big moan.

And she came. She was still moaning for a while, as Reid was thrusting a few more times to make his own orgasm, and he could still feel the strong and rhythmic involuntary contractions of her vagina after the orgasm she'd just had. And he came too, throwing his hot liquid into her, dropping the weight of his body on hers. Both's breathing accelerated, and they could feel the other's heart pounding strongly, almost loud.

After a little while, Reid took his body off of hers, and they hugged under the covers. He kissed her on the forehead and said:

"I love you…"

"I love you too, Spence…"

* * *

**Well folks, that's it! They finally managed to overcome the trauma with the help of each other, showing that with love and patience and kindness and dedication, everything in a relationship can be fine. Love is to be patient, and Spencer knew how to wait, but mostly he knew how to love! Will they still overcome the things that will still lie ahead? Stay tuned and find out! And please, take a minute to leave a comment and make me happy.**

**THANK YOU!**

**(For this chapter I had a help of wikipedia on the part of the stars, and about the Russian movie)**


	21. Chapter 21

**I own nothing**

* * *

After making love for the first time after months together, Spencer and Emily were even more in love with each other, and they were very happy.

After almost a month since they had returned from Europe, Emily accepted JJ's offer to do a nice meeting with the entire team at her home so they could show the pictures from the trip and give the gifts that they had bought for them. It was a Saturday and they were all eating and drinking and having fun. It was a nice barbecue, and they were in the backyard. Will was taking care of the grill and Rossi was helping him, being the master barbecue chef. Emily gave everyone their gifts. The first one was for Penelope.

"This one is for my funny gal… A person I love so much, and I should live a thousand lives to be able to thank God for meeting her…"

She handed Penelope the gift, who got up and took the present, saying:

"I can already see that it's not a hot Italian in this little package…."

On that moment, they heard Rossi yelling from the barbecue grill:

"Someone called me?"

Everybody laughed and Penelope yelled back to him:

"Rossi, dear, I can't handle two men from the BAU, and not to mention Kevin…"

"These are Swiss chocolate since you always keep mentioning chocolate and I bet they are even more delicious than Derek…"

"Hey, hey, princess, how can you say that? You've never even tasted me…" Derek said, smiling.

"It's because when you taste the better ones you don't want to taste anything else…" She kissed Reid on the lips.

"Well, my raven haired beauty, thank you so much and I'm going to taste him and then tell you okay?"

"Aw but there is more…" Emily then took another package and handled to Penelope. "...these are masks from Venice…."

"Ohhhh, so sweet of you… Thank you, Em…"

"And these are for my dear friend JJ, my angel on Earth…"

It was a nice perfume that Emily knew JJ liked and also some Swiss chocolate.

"Thank you so much, Emily, and I'm so happy for you and Reid being so happy together…"

JJ gave her a big hug. Emily looked at Reid and said:

"The boys now, your turn…"

"You can do this, Emily…."

"Oh, please, Spencer… I need to eat something…"

Spencer finished delivering the gifts to everyone. They had bought ties for Hotch and liquor for Rossi, and some toys for the children, and also souvenirs for Will. All of them had a wonderful time together, the kids playing around all the time, Reid doing his typical magic tricks for the kids, and the adults talking and laughing and eating and drinking.

* * *

**Three months later:**

Life was wonderfully normal to Spencer and Emily now. He worked at the BAU, and sometimes spent days out on a case somewhere far from Quantico, but always called Emily to check on her, but Emily was getting better every day. It had been nearly one year since the tragedy. She had already changed the therapy sessions for painting classes at an art school, and she had fallen in love with painting canvases and decorative objects.

Reid came home on a Wednesday around eight o'clock; he had been out since last Monday. Emily went to the door to welcome her husband with a very tight hug.

"I missed you." he said.

"Me too…"

Still embraced, they kissed.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"Starving!"

"I'll prepare something very fast..."

"Okay, meanwhile I'll take a shower…"

During dinner, they were talking. Reid told her about the case and she told him about her days and about the new things she had learned to do and how she didn't miss the weapon and gun times:

"Emily… there's something we need to discuss…"

Chewing the food, she looked at him and said:

"What?"

He opened and closed his mouth, looking for the right words, but in this case it had no right words. He had to be straight forward, but he didn't know how she would react, and that was enough for her to start getting a little nervous.

"What is it Spence?"

"It's about the house…"

She just looked at him, so he added:

"…your old house…"

She kept looking at him, trying hard to control herself, thinking that this was a common theme, as well as any other, and that she would not be shaken.

"The broker called me to say that the contract ended, and the family that lived there didn't renew it because they're moving out of town so I need to know what you want me to do, since the house is yours and I can't decide, much less to sign anything…" he explained.

"Spence… I keep putting this off... I miss them so much still and the pain will always be there, but it's getting better because of you Spence…" She took his hands. "…I want to go there to put everything to rest because I think this will prove to you and me that I'm getting fully healed… Take me there… I need this test…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…"

"I'm going to call the broker and settle a date…"

"Okay… do that…"

* * *

They agreed with the broker to be there in the house, at 3pm on Saturday, and Reid would come with her as support even if the team had a case. He had already talked to Hotch, saying that the priority of his life had always been work, but now it was Emily. The work was in the background now. But lucky for Hotch and the team, they were off on Saturday. Emily wanted to go right after lunch in order to arrive hours before the broker so she could have her moment at the house.

Reid parked the car in front and turned off the car. Emily looked at the house, it was white, and the garden was immaculate, very well maintained. She took a deep breath, and looked at Spencer. He looked at her.

"Let's do it." she said.

They got out of the car.

They came to the gate. Reid took the bunch of keys and opened the lock, and pulled the chain out. He looked at Emily again. She was wearing sunglasses because of the bright sun, her purse on the shoulder, and both hands tucked in her jeans pocket. Spencer knew that hands in the pocket was a typical sign of lack of enthusiasm, motivation, insecurity or even fear. So he reached for her.

"Take my hand, Emily... I will be by your side all the way. You're taking a very important step. We're gonna take one step at a time, little by little, and this house represents another little step…"

Emily held his hands and they took a few slow steps to reach the front door, and he unlocked and opened the door. She looked at him, and took a deep breath. She took the first step to enter the house. The main furniture was covered with white sheets. There was no piece of decoration in the house, or paintings or anything. Spencer, in the past, had sent all of them to a deposit, everything he knew that could bring any kind of painful memories to Emily; clothes, photos, and all furnishings. The house had been rented only with the main furniture inside, like sofas, beds, wardrobes and the big table. Emily took a good look at the interior of the living room, but she was still very close to the door. She put her sunglasses on the head.

She took a few steps inside the house, looking at everything and getting carried away by the emotions she had now. They went to the dining room and then the kitchen. She looked at the stove, and found herself remembering her preparing a bottle with milk for her daughter. That was when the lump began to form in her throat.

Reid was right behind her, and he was sensible enough to realize this delicate moment. He rubbed his hand on her back, as if to say, hey, I'm here all the time, and he moved his hand to her shoulder, squeezing it. She turned to hug him. They didn't need to say a single word because they understood each other perfectly. Resting her head on his chest, she said:

"Thanks for being here with me…"

"I wouldn't be anywhere else…"

He kissed her on the head. Realizing that she was already fighting back tears, he said, still holding her in his arms:

"Emily, if you don't want to go upstairs…"

"I want to…" She looked at him. "…I need to do this, Spence…"

They went up the stairs, and walked to the master bedroom, the room she used to share with Mick. Before opening the door, she said to Spencer:

"Can you wait here?"

"Sure…"

She entered the bedroom and closed the door. There was only a bed and a large dresser inside, covered with sheets. She looked at the bed and Mick came to her mind. She took two deep breaths before walking to the bed and sitting down, passing her hand on the bed, and saying:

"Mick… I'm sorry again for everything… I'm sorry for choosing to stay with the BAU after our wedding while I could've just chosen to take care of you and our baby… I'm sorry because all this tragedy happened because of me. Sure it's indirectly, but I brought that bastard to our home because he came for me… I can imagine that you're taking care of our baby wherever you two are in this Universe… or in another I have no idea, Mick… but you two will always be here inside me, inside my heart… and I will always love you… and our baby…"

Emily then stood up, wiped her eyes with her hands, and left the bedroom. Spencer was leaning against the hallway wall. He looked at her and she looked at him. They continued to Alyssa's bedroom. They entered and saw that there was nothing there, it was completely empty. She asked Spencer:

"Where is her crib?"

"It was donated to an orphanage, as well as all the clothes and toys… I hope you ..."

"No, that's okay… You did the right thing ..."

Emily looked at the walls and ceiling, and said, in a trembling voice:

"I can still hear her laughing and I can still feel her presence…"

Reid approached her, lifting her chin to look at him, and said:

"You will always feel her presence, Emily. And it's not a bad thing at all… There will always be a love for your family here…"

He put his hand over her heart. She said, in tears now:

"But it still hurts a lot…"

Reid pulled her into a hug, saying:

"I know, Emily, and it's pretty normal. Remember, one step at a time... This is just another step for you to heal. It's a long way and the thing is as time goes by, you're getting used to the idea of what happened and your believes are going to show you that your family is okay now, and everything had to be exactly the way they happened. I'm going to be with you in every step and this is a promise… I'm pretty sure they are proud of you now, seeing that you are here and that you're completely able to move on with your life and still have the life you lived with them inside you… You don't have to throw them out because they will always help you in every step of the way to heal and for the rest of your life, they'll be with you… here inside…" He placed his hand on her heart. "…and I'll be with you here on the outside…."

"…And here inside too, Spence, because I love you…"

"I love you too, Emily…"

He kissed her on the head.

They went downstairs to wait for the broker. Right underneath the stairs there was a door that lead to the TV room, the place that the tragedy had happened. Emily and Spencer looked at each other, but she wouldn't go in there, and it was no problem. Soon there was a knock on the door indicating that the broker was there.

They talked and it was very quick, Emily decided that she wanted to continue renting the house, she did not want to live there in that big house, especially knowing that Spencer used to spend days out working, and the house was a complete mix of happiness and sorrow. She had lived very good times in there, but it was where she witnessed the biggest tragedy of her life, and where she began to take the first steps into the abyss. It was not good to be reminded. Also she could use the money to pay for her art course and other things and help Spencer with the bills.

* * *

**Six months later:**

Life was great for Spencer and Emily. He was working as usual, and Emily had discovered a new passion in decorating. She worked with decorations of interiors, focusing on romantic and rustic decor. She loved it and it kept her busy.

It was an ordinary day, at night, when Spencer come home from work, and Emily was in the kitchen warming the dinner for them. He went to the kitchen to see her:

"Hey…"

"Hmm" Emily murmured and gave him a tight hug.

She then took a very deep sigh, and said:

"Is it too wrong that I feel really happy right now?"

"Of course not, Emily, how do you think your family wanted to see you? They must be really glad you're happy now... and so am I…"

Still hugged, she said:

"I'll always love my family Spence, but now…" She looked at him. "…You are my family and I hope that you're very happy with me too because our family is going to increase now..."

* * *

**It looks like Emily and Reid are going to have an addition to this wonderful new family. How will Reid react to this? Will this happiness last for the both of them as they really both deserve this together? Please read on to find out and please let me know what you think with your always great ideas, suggestion and comments.**

**Thank you very much to all of you for reading.**


	22. Chapter 22

**I own nothing**

* * *

"Hey…"

"Hmm" Emily murmured and gave him a tight hug.

She then took a very deep sigh, and said:

"Is it too wrong that I'm feeling really happy right now?"

"Of course not, Emily, how do you think your family wanted to see you? They must be really glad you're happy now... and so am I…"

Still hugged, she said:

"I'll always love my family Spence, but now…" She looked at him. "…You are my family and I hope that you're very happy with me too because our family is going to increase now..."

Reid broke the hug, and walked to the other side of the living room, scratching his forehead, digesting the information he had just received, leaving Emily insecure for a few moments. He said after swallowing hard:

"Well, Emily, there are many ways to increase a family…. you can adopt a pet….. a dog or a cat or a bird…. or bring a loved one to live with the family, or adopt a child from an orphanage .. . (he was talking and walking from one side to the other) ... but when two people love each other and live together, and are faithful to each other, and they are like complicit, there is a more traditional way to increase a family…. that is a natural conception in which results in a pregnancy, when a baby grows inside a belly and it is a phenomenon that transcends any human explanation ... so ... (he stopped walking and looked at her) ... is this ?... you have a baby in there?"

Emily smiled excitedly and said:

"Your Baby!"

Reid started hyperventilating. He approached her and said:

"Emily, I never believed that people can actually crying with happiness because I always believed that the tears come from negative feelings, but I… I'm so happy, I'll be a father?"

"Yes! You are a father!" She took his hands and placed on her belly, saying:

"Our baby is already here…you cannot feel it yet but soon you will…"

He smiled at her. He was totally amazed with the news. He was feeling that he would explode with happiness now. He hugged her very tight, saying:

"Emily, wow… God! I'm so happy right now…Thank you!"

"Spencer, I'm pregnant when I thought that I could not be a mother again, because of my age, but God is giving me this opportunity to be the mother of your baby. It is as if God had me restoring what I lost giving another perfect husband for me and another baby, but I do not feel like replacing them... You Spencer and this new baby here came to add up for my life and I can feel happy now again because of you and this new baby that will rescue all the happiness I had before...So thank you too..."

* * *

Next day at BAU, everyone was already in the meeting room, just waiting for Reid to start the day presenting one more case. Reid and his typical bag on his shoulder entered the room and he had a very big smile on his face that he could not hide, it was stamped on his face. Everyone noticed. Rossi commented:

"Looks like marriage is doing really good for someone here…which was not my case…"

"Hmm, if I was married to Prentiss, the Mrs. gorgeous, I would have that big smile on my face too, every day!" Derek said, smiling and blinking to Reid.

"You, please stop chasing the mother of my baby...Reid said.

Penelope started screaming for joy jumping up and down startling the whole team. JJ got up to greet Reid, hugging him, saying:

"Spence, wow… I am so happy for you and Emily! Congratulations and you will have the most wonderful experience of life which is seeing a piece of you walking around and learning how to speak and everything…Really!"

"Thanks, JJ…"

"It's my turn, it's my turn…Spencer, this baby is going to be so cute because you and Emily are so gorgeous that the combination has to be out of this world and my raven hair beauty may not be a genius like you but she is so sharp like a cookie and I bet your baby will inherit both of your intelligence that your child will grow up to be a brainy, gorgeous, feisty and tough person just like both of his or her parents combined… Congratulations!" Penelope hugged him.

"Thanks, Garcia…"

Everyone was getting up to greet Reid:

"Congratulations, Reid, you and Emily means so much to me. I feel that you two are my children and I will be the Grandfather of this baby and he or she will be really very welcomed to our family...…"

"Thanks, Rossi, this means a lot to me… I did not even say to my Mom yet, considering that you all mean so much like a family to me and Emily…"

"I know kiddo…" Rossi said.

"Well, Reid being a father is the most rewarding thing in the whole world as I am talking from my own experience with Jack. It is the main reason why I do this job to make sure my son is protected from evil by making sure the world is safe for him. He is the main reason I live for… I am pleased that you will know this in the first hand now …. Experiencing this love with your own child like I have with Jack. Congratulations to you and Emily. Please tell her for me but I will hope to congratulate her first hand soon as well…"

"Thanks, Hotch…"

"Wow… that took me by surprise but congratulations, Pretty Boy, no wonder your smile is brighter than any clear sky and a million watt smile that would light up all dark cities that have power outage. You are going to have fun for sure and I bet this child of yours will need encyclopedia instead of toys just like his or her papa…"

"Thanks, Derek…"

Everyone at BAU was super happy for him and Emily. But now Hotch ordered Garcia to present the case.

* * *

Emily was feeling very happy, with the new baby, with Spencer, and with the art classes. Now she was already thinking about the decor of the place for the baby even if the baby would have to share a bedroom with them, because Spencer's apartment had only one bedroom. It was a Saturday afternoon, and Emily and Spencer were home. He was helping with the dishes from lunch:

"Have you told your mother?" She asked him.

"Not yet, I'm waiting to tell her personally...It looks like we'll have a case there...in the coming days…"

"Hmm…"

The doorbell rang and Reid asked Emily to open the door because he knew who it was. When she opened the door, JJ and Garcia had made a surprise for her, as soon as Emily opened the door they shouted:

"Surprise!"

And both of them were rattling teddy bears at the height of their face, and smiling. Emily smiled too and both Garcia and JJ hugged her at the same time. Garcia and JJ came inside and they had brought some gifts for the new baby, such as baby clothes and toys. JJ said:

"Emily, I am going to do you a huge favor and steal Pen's credit cards and all her cash because she is going to buy everything from all the stores in the world the gifts for your baby…"

"You darn right my blonde angel I am going to buy everything from all the stores combined and even if you steal all my money and credit cards, I am going to steal everything for my new honey pie baby…"

They were talking happily and Reid appeared in the living room saying:

"Well...girls...Emily...I'm going to the grocery store now with the list that you made for me...…I will take that you are in good company now so you guys can talk and stuff… and I promise to bring a cake…"

"Okay, Spence…"

Spencer kissed her on the lips and left. Both Garcia and JJ were amazed to see how he was a devoted husband and how happy they were. They had a great time that afternoon.

* * *

Few days later, Spence and Emily were now on the sofa,it was night and she was about three months pregnant now, the next day they would find out the sex of the baby.

"I already told Hotch that I will be a little late for work tomorrow…"

"Spence...I know how the BAU needs you...…"

"Emily, please, do not even start this… I make a point of being with you at all of your medical appointments ...I want to be with you in every step of the way… we made this together…" He placed his hand on her belly, caressing it.

"What do you prefer?" Emily asked while Reid was caressing her belly.

"What?"

"A girl or a boy…"

"Honestly, I don't have any preferences, Emily…"

"Me neither…"

"Do you think we need a bigger apartment?"

"Hmm, I like your apartment, Spence…"

"OUR apartment…" He correct her,

"I like here…"

"Me too… I like here too…"

"So, we are going to stay here a while still… until our baby needs his or her own room…"

"It will be like 18…"

"Maybe…"

"And… Emily… see if you agree with me… I don't want to raise our baby with values of the society where the 'to have' is more important than 'to be'. I want this baby learn form us the real value of the humanity and love for history and art and culture… and keep her or him the maximum we can from 'money is everything' and all technologies that misrepresent the human mind and I want take her or him to travel a lot and meet all cool places in the world…"

"Wow, Spencer…I totally agree... This is so perfect… You will be a great father! I love you so much Spencer…"

"I love you too, Emily… and you too, baby…" He kissed her belly, and then her lips, her mouth, etc, etc, etc, etc.

* * *

Next day, in the morning.

Emily was lying on the stretcher with the gel in the stomach, Reid was at her side, holding her hand all the time, he was trying to control himself at the maximum point, it was all new to him, and incredibly wonderful. He was very happy. While the doctor was going through the device in the gel on her belly, all they were seeing the baby on the small screen of the ultrasound. The doctor said, smiling:

"Well… mammy and daddy, it looks like we have a … you guys really want to know…"

They said together:

"Yes!"

"So… it looks like we have a big beautiful baby boy in here…"

Reid's and Emily eyes watered at the same time, they looked at each other, and the doctor was left there, it was like he was not there. And also there was not even one word in the whole world that could replace the intensity of that look that they were giving each other now, the looks said it all!

* * *

Finally, when Emily was four months pregnant, the team had a case nearby Vegas and Reid went to see his Mom at the clinic:

"Mom, how do you feel like if I want to transfer you to a clinic in DC?"

"Oh, Spence… I'm fine here, babe…You don't have to worry…"

"Hmm… I'm not really worried… it is just I might need you…"

"Aw, for what: Are you having nightmares again? Headaches?"

"No… it is not that… It is that I really wanted to transfer you…a little more close… that I don't have to travel so far to see you…"

"What is this about, Spence? I know you…"

"Hmm… I was thinking that maybe you would want to see your grandchild growing up…"

Diana frowned as if she was not listening straight. Reid looked at her and smiled and that smile and all the happiness that he was demonstrating confirmed what she was thinking. She said:

"Spencer… Did I hear you right? Please repeat to make sure I heard you right and pinch me to make sure that I am not dreaming…I'm so happy, Spencer!"

"I'm going to be father, Mom, I'm actually really feeling already like a father…"

Diana got up from to couch to hug her son.

Mother and son were very happy now and Reid did not have much trouble now in convincing her to move to a clinic near DC.

* * *

**One month later:**

Emily went to visit her parents in their mansion to tell that she was pregnant, because they were finally in the country again. Her Mother said:

"You are getting a little fat, Emily! You've never been so careless with your body shape and weight…I hope you are not depressed again…"

"No, Mother… it is because I'm carrying your grandchild…"

Elizabeth made a face of surprised, as Emily's father quickly hugged her daughter, saying:

"Emily… I'm so happy for you and Spencer… wow… I will have another grandchild, congratulations, Emily, wow… this is really big and very pleasant surprise… do you already know what it is?"

"It's a boy, Dad…"

"Oh, congratulations, Emily…"

"Thank you, Dad… I'm five months now… and I did not tell you before because I wanted to tell in person and your guys are always traveling a lot…"

"Oh, that's okay, dear…"

Elizabeth came to hug Emily too, saying:

"Congratulations… I know how hard times you had and you totally deserve it… I'm so happy that you are finally getting over everything although we know Alyssa will be always alive in our memories and heart…"

Emily's father told his wife off:

"Elizabeth… it is not time for this…"

"That's totally okay, Dad, I do not want to forget Alyssa, I want her present in every step of the way, and I do not want to pretend that she never existed. I am learning how to live without her now… and accepting things the way they are… and I want her to be mentioned and etc… and this new baby will know about his older sister since the beginning… she is part of me and she will always be…"

Elizabeth caressed Emily's backs, saying:

"I am very proud of you, Em…"

Emily hugged her mother and said, smiling:

"What have you done with my Mother? This is not you as I have a feeling you have been possessed…"

"I'll take that as a compliment…"

They laughed together as a family as they did not do since long time.

* * *

Emily and Spencer were in bed now, preparing to sleep. He said:

"Emily… I cannot believe that in about three months we will be carrying our baby… I mean… another person that we made! This is so big… I don't know if I am prepared…"

"You will do just fine, Spence… trust me… you will be the best father…"

Reid: "How are we going to call him?"

Emily: "Hmm… what do you think?"

Reid: "We have to think about a name…"

Emily: "What names do you like?"

Reid: "Hmm, I never stopped to think about names… what names do you like, Emily… say some and I can think about it…"

"I like Eric, Steve, Edward, Richard, Brayden…and lots of other ones… did you like any of these?"

Reid hugged her in the bed, saying:

"You choose…"

"Hmmmm" She was thinking.

"Steve… I mean… Steve looks pretty like Spencer… and I love your name like I love you… so Steve Reid is perfect for me… what do you think?

"Hmm, if it is perfect for you… then it is perfect for me too…"

She smiled and he kissed her on the belly, and on the mouth.

* * *

Next day in the morning, Spencer was leaving for work, he went down on one knee and said to her belly:

"Hey, you, little Steve, take care of mommy while I'm at work, okay… I promise to come back as soon as I can… and you are the man of the house while I'm out, okay… I love you…" He kissed her six months pregnant belly, and standing now to kiss her, saying:

"I love you…"

"I love you, too, Spence…and take care… be home safe… we need you…"

"I will…"

And he left.

* * *

Emily left home later on the morning and went to the art school. She spent almost the whole day there. She was working on some frames that she was painting in white and blue to put on the wall, next to the baby's crib. She was thrilled with it. Around five in the afternoon, she received a call from the manager of building where she and Spencer lived. The guy from the store was there to deliver the crib. Emily was rushing to the house. The guy from store delivered and set up the crib for her. It was a small crib for a newborn baby because they do not have much space in the bedroom. But Emily was very happy. She accompanied the store people to the door and locked the door and returned bedroom to tidy the crib.

It was about almost seven in the night and she heard the door slammed, she yelled from the bedroom:

"Spencer… you are not going to believe! The crib we bought fitted just perfectly in the space we had in the corner of the bedroom… you have to see it…"

Silence.

Emily kept talking out loud:

"Spence… come here to see it… I'm just finishing tidying it…it's so cutie, Spence… and the blanket that your mother gave us fitted just perfectly too…"

Silence.

"Spence?"

Silence.

She was getting worried:

"Spence?"

She heard some heavy steps approaching the bedroom and her heart started to race fast. She still gave a last try:

"Spence… is that you?" She was panicking already.

She was staring at the bedroom door, her mouth was open and completely dry now, her heart was pounding, and she was frowning, just waiting, and still trying to fool herself that this feeling was not that something really bad was about to happen. It was when he appeared at the door, and Emily would rather be having a pure vision of hell instead. She almost fell from her legs, and all the air was stolen from her at that moment.

* * *

**Well, who could this stranger frightening poor Emily? Will she and the baby be okay? Will Reid and the team find her in time before anything bad can happen? Please stayed tuned here to find out more and please tell me what you think and please to give me your suggestions and ideas as always. Thank you all so much again for reading and for everything.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hi guys. This chapter will probably have a lot of grammatical errors because one of my betas is traveling and the other is sick. So, my apologies in advance.**

**I own nothing**

* * *

It was about almost seven in the night when Emily was at her bedroom, tidying the crib when she heard the front door of her and Spencer's apartment slamming, she yelled from the bedroom:

"Spencer… you are not going to believe it! The crib that we bought fitted just perfectly in the space we had in the corner of the bedroom… you have to see it…"

Silence.

Emily kept talking out loud from the bedroom:

"Spence… come here to see it! I'm just finishing tidying it…it's so cute, Spence… and the blanket that your mother gave to us fitted just perfectly as well…"

Silence.

"Spence?"

Silence.

She was getting worried:

"Spence?" She asked frowning.

She heard some heavy steps approaching the bedroom and her heart started to beat fast. She still gave a last try:

"Spence… is that you?" She was panicking already.

She was staring at the bedroom door, just waiting for someone to appear there, her mouth was open and completely dry now, she was still trying to fool herself that this thing that she was feeling did not mean that something really bad was about to happen. It was when he appeared at the door, and Emily would rather be having a pure vision of hell instead. She almost fell from her legs, and all the air was stolen from her at that moment.

Emily tried to take two steps back and only then she realized that she was already totally with her backs against the wall.

In complete despair and having some difficulty to breathe, she tried, surreptitiously, to reach out the cell phone which was on her bed. She managed to pick up the phone and quickly tried to hide it behind her legs, but he reached out and took the phone from her, trapping her in the corner of the bedroom, so she could not pass by him. He threw the phone on the floor and stepped over it until it breaks, holding her firmly by her arm already. Finally he said:

"What a beautiful belly! We are going for a walk…"

"No, please, please, no…"

He grabbed her by the hair, holding steady almost spitting in her face, he said:

"You ruined my life, my career, as I was just helping you, you bitch! Now you and your little bastard you are carrying are going to pay dearly for it…"

"Please, don't hurt my baby…I'm begging you, you can go and I will never say anything about you being here, please…"

"HA-HA, that is not about to happen…WHERE IS YOUR CAR KEY?"

"Please, just leave me alone! Look: you will have to be in prison again… Just think! I'll let you go and I promise no one will ever know you had been here, please, just go…." She was in complete despair.

"That is not an option! WHERE IS YOUR DAMN CAR KEY AND I WON'T ASK AGAIN! …OR I CAN KILL YOU RIGHT HERE WITH MY OWN HANDS SO YOUR WEIRD BOY WILL FIND YOU AND THIS BASTARD YOU ARE CARRYING DEAD… it would be a cool scene for him to see… what do you think?"

"Okay… okay… that's okay… I will take the keys…" She was trying to stall him.

In a split second she passed by him, and run to the kitchen to try to get a knife, but he went behind her, and even before she could step in in the kitchen, he grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the ground and began kicking her, and after kick her so many times, he said:

"This is just a small sample that I'm not playing games with you… Did you really think that you could start a fight with me, bitch!"

Emily could get up and running, but instead, she chose to hug her sixth months of pregnancy belly to try to protect her child from the kicks.

When he threw her with force on floor, she had hit her face on the coffee table, so that she hurt her face and nose and ir started bleeding. When he stopped kicking her, she was getting up from the floor, but he did not allow her to get up. He went down and started to strangle her, pressing her throat with both of his hands and all his body weight, he said:

"You have ten seconds to get me the fucking car keys, or I'm going to kill you right now…"

And she could see the hate and a lot of anger in his eyes.

"Okay, okay… I'll give you…"

He did not need to use force to lift her from the floor, he did it with ease. Emily walked over to the bookcase there are only a few steps away from there, and she took the car keys, handing it to him. He said:

"Let's go for a little drive…"

Already crying she begged:

"Please… you can't the car, leave me here…"

Pulling her hair, he said:

"You really think I'm here for a car? You don't know me at all! This is about you!"

He said while handcuffed her hands behind.

She was trying to keep calm. Taking a deep breath, and whispering softly all the way to the car which was in the parking basement of the building.

"It's going to be okay, baby, mommy is here… it is going to be okay…"

He put her in the passenger seat, despite she being handcuffed with her hands behind her, he still put tape tightly around her heels, and said:

"You try something, you die!"

He drove off at high speed barely stopping at a red light. After an hour of driving, they were already on some highway. Emily was trying to memorize every step of the way, the place where they were going and stuff. Well, at least until a certain point, because he parked her car in a sort of precipice, he got out of the car, he pulled her out of the car by the arm, and put her in the back of a van, a completely closed van. He used chains and handcuffs to trap her inside the van, and he also put tape on her mouth so she could not scream for help. After seeing that he had reduced her to that, he smiled, slapping her slightly on the face, saying:

"You are mine now again…. You know what… you've always been my favorite toy…your stubborn ways make me really horny…"

He hit the back door of the van. Emily was still trying to stay calm, because the baby she was carrying, but it had no way that Spencer does not pop up in her mind. Then she shed a few tears. She was thinking as if show was talking to the baby:

"I cannot promise Dad will find us, baby, but I promise doing anything I can to save us, to save you… I promise you baby…"

He drove most of the night now.

* * *

Far from there, in some police station of the USA, part of the team was gathered to discuss the current case. It was about eleven o'clock at night. Everybody could not help, but noticing how Reid had a stranger behavior in the past few hours. Morgan finally asked him:

"Hey, pretty boy, what's wrong?"

Still looking at his cell phone, he said:

"Can't find Emily…"

"What do you mean: can't find?"

"I've been trying talking to her for the last hours like always I do when I'm out for the night… to make sure she is okay and stuff… but now she does not respond the cell phone or home…it's weird because she always responds…"

"Hey, Reid… she is okay. Maybe she is sleeping…Pregnant women have much more sleepiness, you must know that… I'm sure you have some statistics for this too, right…" Morgan said smiling.

But this did not help in anything Reid. He was really worried.

* * *

After hours and hours and hours, Emily could not know what time of the night it was, they got there in a completely abandoned deposit in the middle of nowhere. She could not see who that it was in the middle of nowhere because she was blindfolded the time he took her from the van and threw her at one of the warehouses of the deposit. It was very cold, and through the little vitro, she could see that a new day was about to be born. He threw her inside saying:

"Stay there while I think about how I'm going to have fun with you…"

And he closed the huge iron door. Her face hit the floor which was really dirty, and she noticed some nasty little critters running from her: they were rats.

* * *

Reid had already used his brain to help the team, so they all had gone to rescue the victim and arrest the suspect during the night, and he was at the police station now. Once the team had returned, they took the plane back to Quantico. Reid was on the brink of despair now, itching to get home. Still on the plane, and had been woken for almost 48 hours now, he was about to collapse anytime, as the rest of the team were sleeping. The five seconds that he managed to fall sleep, he had a dream/nightmare: Maeve was staring at him from the middle of beautiful flowers and saying:

"Spencer, I promise taking care of your baby if something bad happens, but if you can, hurry up, because Emily and the baby is in a great danger right now…"

Reid opened his eyes suddenly, completely frightened, he swallowed hard.

* * *

Although a new day job was already starting, Hotch had authorized the team to go home to get some rest and come back later. Reid threw the reports paper on his desk, and ran toward the elevator, to take his car and go home.

He barely parked the car in front of the building, on the street (he did not even used the garage) and ran up the stairs, he did not want to waste time waiting for the elevator. Early on, he knew something was wrong because the front door of the apartment was not locked. He opened it and began calling for her, he was sure that he would find her there, perhaps she unconscious.

"Emily?"

The living room was a complete mess, and there was blood on the carpet. At that moment he was despaired, thinking that she could have lost the baby and that she was so depressed that she would not answer the phone, or maybe she was in some hospital, everything was crossing his mind now. For him, it was still the best way to think, although it was not much blood on the floor. Then he ran to his bedroom, thinking she might be there, crying, depressed. But what he found made him be sure that the nightmare that he'd had on the plane, with Maeve, was something more real than a mix of horrific cases that he used face on a daily basis. Emily's cell phone was totally broken, crushed on the floor, as if it had been trampled very hard.

His first reaction was to call Hotch. He was walking from a side to another:

"Hotch, Emily is gone. I got home and there is blood on the carpet, and there are some objects on the floor, like if it there was a fight, and her cell phone is totally broken on the floor. I am totally sorry from calling you but I need help. Can't find her…"

"Of course, Reid, anything…. I will call the others…We meet you there… Stay there in case she comes back or someone makes a call…"

"Okay, thank you…"

"Call the cabs, Reid…"

"Okay, I will…"

When the team arrived there, the police was there already taking pictures of the clues, the blood on the carpet and the broken cell phone. The team was there, Hotch got a call. It was Garcia on the other side of the line. Hotch listened carefully to her and said:

"Thanks, Garcia."

Hotch hung up the phone and said to Reid:

"Tucker was released from prison a month ago."

"Son of a bitch has her!" Morgan said.

Derek was fuming now, he wanted to break something, Hotch was saying to him:

"Calm down, Morgan, we need cooler heads right now. Emily needs us like that so we can find her, we have to try to remain calm."

"How do we find her, Hotch?" Reid asked, he was despaired and he had tears in his eyes already.

"…our baby…we have to save them, Hotch…" He was begging now.

"We are going to find them as we find any other victims…"

"Sometimes we don't find on time…I cannot stand losing Emily… losing my love again… and my baby… please… Hotch…"

Reid was begging for help now, for saving Emily's life from the hands of Tucker. They had collected all the clues and warned the police teams from all the neighboring towns, informing the car plate of Emily. They all went back to the BAU to profile Tucker, and draw a plan to search her. Other police teams were sent to the former home of Tucker, but it was very obvious that he would not be there, and had left no clue there. Garcia also had found out that she was not at any hospitals of the city.

* * *

Hours later, it was about three in the afternoon and Emily had not eaten anything since the day before, at lunch. Not that she was hungry but she was worried because of her baby. She needed to eat. And there were only rats there, and of course she would not eat them.

Suddenly, she heard him opening the door. She was sitting on the floor, all chained and handcuffed. He approached her and took the tape off her mouth. Before he could say anything, she said:

"Tucker, I need to eat… please… I need to eat something for my baby…"

He sat in an old and torn armchair, and smiling sarcastically, he said to her:

"…You want to eat? Hmm, I can definitely give you something to eat. But it will have a price…"

She looked at him scared and swallowed. She did not know what to say, only thinking that what the fuck he must want from her now, for the food. He said:

"I tell the rules here, I always want you to follow my orders but you were never good at that when we were married. You never listened to a word I told you to do but now you are going to listen to me, you Bitch, if you and your baby want to survive. I am not sure what I am going to do yet. I want to kill you and your baby both, but if you be a good girl and listened to me once in your life, I might let you both live but that is a big 'if' and it is up to you…"

She was scared now.

"Come here…" He said.

"I have my arms and hands chained! How am I supposed to go there?"

"Crawling like a snake you are, bitch! You know the chain is big enough…"

She did not move. He said:

"Your life and your bastard's life are in your hands, and I am warning you: my patience is very, very short…"

She did not move again, so he got up and approached her, and grabbed her by her hair and dragged her bringing her close to the armchair, you are really a bitch that does not listen do me. I will have to kill you but first I'm going to use you like a whore you are…That was how we met and it will be how we're going to say good-bye…"

He pulled his pants and underwear to his knees, and sat in the chair, and brought her head, by the hair, holding tight for her to perform oral sex on him, saying:

"Do it good, like you always did!"

"NO! Tucker… don't, please… I… I can't do that… please…"

When she opened her mouth to speak, he grabbed her by the head and hair and made she suck him, all his length, so he was fucking with her mouth, strong and deeply, thrusting into her mouth. Emily was having nauseas now, but she was praying not to vomit. Her hands were still handcuffed behind. The last thing she wanted now was a beating with a baby in her belly. He was thrusting very fast now and faster and faster until he came inside her mouth, gushing all his sperm on her throat. Then he said:

"Well, you wanted something to eat…I hope you are satisfied now…" he said, buttoning his pants, smiling demonically.

Emily, on the floor, only gave one, two, three impulses before vomit all the content of her stomach cleaning her throat from his taste. He left the place, laughing.

* * *

After not much time, she heard the sound of the van igniting and getting away. So she started to scream for help, next to the small vitro. But the place was really in the middle of nowhere. The road was very far from there, so no one could ever hear her, but she tried and tried, screaming a lot for help. Then, she started to pull the chain to see if it broke somehow and she could escape, but nothing worked and less then an hour later she heard the van parking outside again.

Right before he could enter the place again, she sat on the floor, and stayed quiet. He opened the iron door and he was bringing a small bag that he had gone to fetch for her. He had gotten a hot dog from one of those hot dog venders he saw when he was driving to fill the car, and a bottle of water. He went down the floor next to her to open the handcuffs so she could eat, leaving her only in chains and some padlocks on her neck and legs. He threw the package to her and said:

"I'll be back…"

The chain was fastened to the floor, so she could not stand up, only sitting or lying on the floor. She crept up a bit to get the package and the bottle of water. She drank half a bottle and ate the hot dog, very slowly. The rats were already getting used to her presence there, so they approached her when she began to eat. Emily then threw some pieces of bread for them to go eat at another corner, away from her. She did not expect to have to split the hot dog with the mice, not that it was not something healthy, not even a little, but at least it was something solid.

* * *

The evening of that day, Emily was already missing for almost 24 hours now. They were in the BAU, researching the life of Tucker, including the possibility that he had murdered his two former wives, a fact that could keep him behind bars for the rest of his life. All of them realized that Reid was not there on that moment. Morgan went to check the bathroom. He was sitting there, crying a lot, eyes red and swollen. That scene broke Morgan's heart.

"Hey, Reid… We are going to find her, kid ..."

"You do not understand, Morgan. I need to find her now! I need to find her know right now and be sure she is okay, and if my baby is okay… we know Tucker and we know everything he did to her, in details! And we know what he did to his ex wives and it's almost 24 hours now, without any news…I can't….. I can not breathe anymore… you don't understand!"

Morgan now had also some tears in his eyes and nothing to say, that was when Hotch opened the bathroom door and said:

"Reid, her car was found… we are on our way there…"

"Oh! I want to go too…"

They went out of the bathroom and when they are preparing to leave, Garcia entered the place and said:

"I have the test results for the blood found at the apartment…"

Hotch tried to talk to Garcia by himself but Reid did not allow:

"Hotch, I want to know…"

Hotch nodded to Garcia, whom said:

"It's Emily's…" She said, in a sad way.

Reid rubbed his own face that was already transfigured. Rossi said:

"Reid, she's alive!"

"…But under what conditions? If he ever hurt her at home who knows what he must have done in these 24 hours!"

"She's alive!" Rossi repeated.

* * *

Inside the warehouse, dividing a huge and dirty room with rats, Emily was sitting with her backs against the wall, legs straight, with both hands on the pregnant belly. She said:

"Baby, I know you can hear me, so I want to apologize for putting in such dangerous situation as I know this is all my fault, because I had chosen him in a way to kill myself when I had no reason to live anymore, but now I don't want to die anymore, because I have you and your Daddy to live for… I promise I'll do my best to keep you safe okay… We are going to fight for our lives and I'm pretty sure: Daddy and our friends are on their way… we just have to be patients…I'll do everything it takes to keep you safe…"

She was talking to her baby when Tucker entered the room again. She looked at him and she said:

"What do you want from me? I'll do whatever it takes, but please don't hurt my baby…"

He seemed different from before. He was more euphoric, he seemed to be very anxious, aggressive, physically and mentally excited and strangely he seemed to be in some kind of delirious, talking incoherently to her all the time, and yelling incoherently. He sure was under the effect of some strong and powerful drug. Emily was just watching him talk about all those meaningless things, trying to understand at least a sentence. He was trembling, his pupil was dilated, and many other symptoms looking totally like someone that was much out of itself. She was very scared now. Emily was not fearful person at all, but the events of the past two years had stolen much of the person that she was before. And just when Reid was starting to bring that Emily back, and she was regaining her self-confidence, Tucker had reappeared.

Suddenly, he started yelling at her, but he seemed to be mixing things from his past, things that happened with other women with whom he had lived before her, she was much more afraid now, but she did not dare to open her mouth do say anything, he seemed totally out of his mind, that just for saying: even in normal mode, her was not normal. He was yelling and walking to and fro. As he was walking around without stopping while yelling at her, a mouse ran over his foot, and that was like a fuse, her started smash the disgusting creatures with his boots, and he managed to smash six rats, because he rest of them had entered the sewers. The cry of mice echoed in a deafening volume in her head, driving her crazy.

* * *

The team arrived at the point of the road where Emily's car had been found. They looked inside the car and nothing, no Emily, no clues. They still had to look inside the truck of the car, she could be there, alive or died, and it causes a little panic in them before opening. Hotch said:

"Reid, step back… we can do this… you don't have to look at it…"

"Hotch, if Emily and my baby are dead, my life is already over too. So, there is nothing I cannot see…" Reid said, firmly.

But Emily was not there and no clues again.

* * *

He was still very angry and having smashed six rats with his own feet had not been enough for him to relieve the demonic fury that was inside him now. He took the big wooden armchair from the floor and threw it at the wall near where Emily was. She then started to cry now and she curled her body as if she was trying to get inside the wall, she knew it was impossible, she was praying now:

"Oh God, please, save me, don't let him kill my baby, please…"

Although she was only whispering to herself, he could hear her murmurs. It was another trigger, and now, she was the main focus. He took the belt of his pant and started to beat her no stop cursing her all the time. Emily curled up on the floor like a snail, hugging her belly, trying to protect her belly to the fullest she could. She did not dare to open her mouth to say anything she knew it not worth now. The belt fell from his hand so he started to kick her with his boots, wherever he could, on her legs, backs, face, head, like she was a soccer ball. After long time, because of the effect of the drugs, he started to get a little dizzy and to see things blurry, and started to miss some kicks, as if he was kicking the air, so finally he left the room, as if staggered.

Emily, on the floor, she could barely move her body, she stood there, paralyzed, all her body was in pain now, after trying to catch the breath for three times, she started to cry in despair now, because of all her physical and mental pain, because she Tucker would probably kill her and her baby, in a matter of days, maybe hours, and she knew it, and by all the anguish and terror she was living, she felt a strong pain in her stomach as a kind of colic, she said:

"No, baby, please… I know this is hard, but stay, please… stay… Daddy is coming….." She said to the baby, but she barely could believe in her own words, as the pain was becoming like a knife stuck in her belly.

"Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" She was screaming now in pain.

After almost an hour there on the floor without moving, suffering from horrible cramps, she was finally able to be on the sitting position. She needed to think of some way to get out of that place, and from the fury of that man. It was when she realized that he had left fall a bunch of keys on the floor, and he also had left the iron door opened. He was so out of his mind and mentally disturbed when he left the room that he was not even thinking anymore. But the place was huge, he could be anywhere else nearby, in another room or on the hallways, that old warehouse had many rooms and the place looked like a maze, she was not sure she would find a way to get out of there, and she also did not know if the main exit door would also be opened. Furthermore, it would be a death sentence if Tucker surprised her trying to escape from there and from him. She was weighing all the chances. If the team did not find her, she would die anyway, if it was only for her, she could wait for the team and see if they would be there in time, but she needed to try save her baby, she had to do something for her baby, since that with Alyssa, she had been unable to do anything, having to watch her die. She then picked up the keys and tried desperately to open the padlocks that were attached to her body. Finally, she was able to get rid of the chains. Walking very slowly and lightly steps, she walked toward the door.

* * *

**So, will Emily manage to get out of there safe, or will Tucker stop her? Stay tuned. Thanks for R&R.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey, guys, hope you all ar okay. I'm so sorry I don't have a beta for this story, so it may have lots of errors, but I hope you can understand the meaning, at least. If you want PM me about something, fell free, okay?! This story is about to end because I have some other things in mind now. Thanks again. Love you all.**

**I own nothing**

* * *

Tucker was totally out of control when he had exploded with a crisis of hatred and gave her a beating, kicking her hitting her with the belt. She curled like a ball on the floor, trying to protect the baby, hugging his own stomach. When he was about to lose the control of the situation, such drugged and drunk he was, he came out of there leaving Emily without handcuffs and leaving of keys where she could reach them, beyond the door fully open. She knew this was just one of the hundred rooms there in that building. But when she saw the situation favors for her, she could not miss this opportunity. She was able to get rid of the chains. Walking very slowly and lightly steps, she walked toward the door.

She began to walk the halls of that place very slowly. Her heart was pounding as she knew that at any moment she might come across to him. The place looked like an abandoned hospital many centuries ago.

When she was approaching a wooden door, she heard a roar, a loud roar, and as she approached even more, the sound of snoring was getting louder, indicating that it could only be him who was there in that room. She looked only to make sure that it was really him. She was just looking from the door. He was lay down on a mattress on the floor, she was just spying for a long time, and he seemed be sleeping deeply. Observing him, she saw his cell phone right next to him, on the floor. Very slowly and with the courage of the world, a courage from her best days of Emily Prentiss the Profiler, she start to step in the place, and he was still without move and snoring, sound asleep. Breathing deeply to try to stay calm, she bent to pick up his cell phone from de floor, and she just vanished from there, getting inside another room, very distant from where he was, as she could not find the exit door, the place looked like a maze. Safe for now, inside this another room, she called BAU, Garcia's branch line:

"Hey, Pen, it's me, Emily…" She was whispering.

"Oh, GOD! Emily! Where are you? We are so worried!"

"Pen, listen to me… I need you to track this phone call and try to find where I am and send to the team… please, Pen, I don't have much time… he is sleeping now…."

"Okay! Okay!" Garcia said, while she was typing like crazy to find the perimeter and address where Emily was.

"…. I have no idea where I am… and he is totally out of control, he can kill me anytime… Please, tell the team I'm trying to escape but I keep in touch….Pen, listen carefully: in case I don't get in touch again, it's because I am still stuck in here, okay…"

"Okay! Okay! I got it! Please, Em, keep you and the baby safe… I'm sending the address to the team…"

"… And Pen, the most important thing: tell Hotch to not let Spence get inside the building, Tucker won't hesitate in killing him…Please…. This is really important…"

"Okay, Em, I will!"

"Thanks, Pen… I have to go now…."

As soon as she hung up, she began to hear his screams echoing through the place:

"Where are you, you bitch!"

"I'm going to find you!"

"You will regret this!"

"I should have already killed you!"

"Wait until I put my hands on you…"

She knew that if he saw his cell phone with her, he would know the she had called for help. So before he could guess which room she was, she just threw the cell phone by the vitro, she seemed to be on the third floor of the build. The place seemed to be a asylum, because all the windows and vitro had grids.

By the proximity of the sound of his voice, she knew he was close to find her, she began to shake with fear now, she knew she might not survive to his fury this time. She looked around to see if there was something she could use to defend herself, but she knew she was not in the same position as him, she could never fight equally with him; she would have to use her mind to try to delay his attack until the arrival of the team.

"I'm dying to put my hand on you, bitch!"

* * *

The team had got back to BAU, because nothing was found at Emily's car that could help them. Garcia went to talk to them:

"She made a call!"

"What?" Reid said, almost without air.

"I have the address, it's here…"

"It's quite distant. We better go by plane…" Hotch said as he looked at the paper.

"Garcia, is she okay?" Reid asked, apprehensive.

"Coconut sugar, she seemed okay, she and the baby… but I have to say, she is in great dangerous now, she had taken his cell phone to make this call..."

Hotch cut her off:

"Garcia, I need you to send all the details by phone for all of us, each minute wasted now is pretty important…" Hotch said as he team made their way to the plane on the top of the building.

Garcia then sent every single word that Emily had said to her, and also she sent the address again, to all of them. They were already on the plane on their ways to rescue Emily. And her final message was:

"Hotch, the most important thing was that she asked to not let Spencer get inside the build because the demon will not hesitate in killing him! That was her words."

Everyone on the team had received this message too, including Reid, who said:

"There is no way I'm going to wait outside…"

"Reid, we know how dangerous he is, this is Emily's will and what she thinks is the best for you and her, and the baby…"

Reid remained in silent, but no one knew what was crossing his mind.

* * *

Tucker entered the room where Emily was, she Said:

"Tucker, look, I was just looking for a bathroom… I'm right here… please… I'm right here… I'm not going anywhere…" She begged as he was approaching her.

He grabbed her by the hair, and started to drag her across the floor to the initial room where she was in the first place. Remember she was already really hurt by all the beating she had recently received.

"Tucker, please, you don't have to hurt me, or my baby, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, I promise…"

"Cry, you bitch! Cry! It's a pleasure to my ears listening to you crying… Cry for me! Remember how you used to cry loud while I was fucking you in the ass! Those were the best orgasms I've ever had! But now… you have to get this belly! You ruined everything… But listen… I can still listen to your cries… And I'm going to do this with a big pleasure…"

They were already on the room she was before again. He took the chain and put on the vitro and stuck her with handcuffs in a ways her arms had to be up all the time, so she could not protect her baby anymore. And this took her to the complete despair. But there was not much that she could do. She started to try to kick him when he was working in take off all her clothes.

"You bitch! You really want to make things worst for you, huh!"

He took the tape and place around her feet. In a minute after, she was only on her underwear. She was crying totally humiliated now. He approached her and he started to play with one of her nipples with his hands.

"Look what you have done to your body… this stupid belly…"

She knew it was not time for provocations now. But she was feeling devastated now, she only did not wish to die soon because of the baby and Spencer.

"You know, bitch! This belly can save you now… I'm going to hit you until you lose this baby…"

"No! Tucker, please, do whatever you want to me…you can do everything you did before, you can use me, you can fuck me wherever you want but don't hurt my baby! Please…"

"Cry, bitch!" He said smiling pleased.

"I love to see you begging and crying…"

"…As I as saying…. (He said while he took his belt from the floor)…. if you lose that baby, I'll let you live so we can start over…But if you don't I'm going to have to kill you two… because I'm getting a little tired of this game…"

"No! Please… nooooooo!"

She was begging and crying and, as much as she was begging, and as louder as she crying, he was beating her even more and more, and this was giving him a huge pleasure, he was beating hitting her with his belt the most on the belly now, as her hands were tied up to up, and she could not protect the baby. As she knew that what he wants was to watch her suffering and she might not survive to this last beating, she stopped crying now, but she could not fight back her tears, as they were flowing no stop now. And she started to curse him:

"Your evil son of a bitch! You might kill me and my baby, but you will fever in hell! Your body will be dipped in a cauldron of larvae of fire, and you will feel each inch of your body burning and frying, and then, do you know what will happen when you have no body anymore? You will gain a new body just to happen the same thing again and again until your evil soul disappears by complete…"

She was cursing him all the time and the times he was a little near her, she tried to spit at him from afar and he laugh out loud when she did not hit him.

After about two hours he was there, torturing her mentally and beating and kicking her, they heard the sound of the buzzer from the police, it looked like zillions of them. Emily was almost unconscious now. But when he heard the sound of the police, he grabber her by the hair making she raise her head to look at him and said:

"You called the cabs, you bitch!"

She was putting blood through the mouth, she was seeing everything blurry, and she did not know where she was anymore.

* * *

Outside the building:

Hotch, Morgan, JJ, Rossi and Reid were wearing a bulletproof vest, and also it had a several teams of other police. Hotch told Reid:

"Reid, I need you to stay here, observes all the moves ..."

Reid cut him off:

"It's my family that's in there!" He was nervous, anxious to find Emily.

"Reid is very important that you stay here, you heard the message from Emily, if she said it, it is because he probably should have said that to her ..."

"The only thing I know, Hotch, is that my family is in risk now, there is no reason for me to not to risk too! If anything happens to them, I'd rather die too, and if Tucker wants me in her place, I will!"

"Reid, you have to understand that your presence there could endanger the entire operation! This is about trust! Or you trust our team or not! If he wants exchange her by you, I'll tell you. I've been in your same shoes, Reid! I know what you're feeling!"

"And you went and you faced him!" (They were talking about Foyet now)

"Yes, I did! And she ended up dead! I'm sure you don't want this same end to Emily…"

Well, after that, Reid decided to give a chance to the team and remained out there, apprehensive, nervous, sweating profusely.

* * *

Inside the building:

"Ha-ha-ha, now, the real fun will start! I might die, but I'm going to kill you in front of that broomstick thinking… What a show!"

He had a gun pointed to Emily's head. She was practically unconscious, hanging by chains. Remember she was practically naked too, only in her panties, but she had the most part of her body covered by blood.

* * *

After about five minutes, the team found out the room they were in and invaded:

"FBI!"

Hotch, Morgan, Rossi and JJ pointing their guns to Tucker. But Tucker had a gun pointed to Emily's head. So, he won't give up easily. JJ had tears in eyes seeing Emily's situation, seeing that she had blood and cuts for all over her body including on her six months pregnant belly. All of them wanted to cry, but they need to keep the focus. Hotch said:

"Tucker, drop the gun, you won't survive this if anything happens to her, you know that…"

"I don't want survive!" Tucker said, as he tightened his arms around Emily's neck, and holding the gun with the other hand.

"If you don't want to survive you don't have to drag an innocent baby with you… you have to give him a chance to be born…"

"This is her fault! The baby dies is her fault! I won't negotiate with you! I want the father of the baby here! And you have five minutes to bring him here! FIVE MINUTES!" Tucker yelled.

Morgan and Rossi were studying the place with their eyes to see if there was any possibility of someone reaching Tucker from behind, a window or something, but there was no way: if they shot him, he would shoot Emily on the head.

Hotch, the best profiler in the world, knew that was too risky to bring Reid there. He could see the badness in the eyes of that man, and her plan was to kill Emily in front of Reid. That was his main goal now. So bring Reid there was the last of the last options. Rossi, Hotch, Morgan was trying to negotiate with him all the time, and JJ could not speak, she was too much in shock as a mother seeing Emily in that situation, but Tucker just kept saying he wanted Reid there, and that he was running out of patience now.

* * *

Outside the place:

It was half an hour the team had raided the place, but to Reid it seemed days. He was really impatient now and nervous and his brain genius and his eidetic memory were picturing every single detail of his wedding with Emily and all the moments of their honeymoon, and the moment they finally had made love for the first time, how special and unique it was, even they were on the floor, surrounded by duvets, because the most important they had that was the love for each other, and by that love they had conceived a miracle that they had the opportunity to see growing inside Emily's belly through all the ultrasound sessions. The baby boy they would name Steve; and he was remembering how happy Emily was now, finally, after so much suffering losing her entire family and knowing that maybe it was about to happen again, and that he himself had to watch what he thought it was the love of his life to die tragically in Maeve. He was also thinking in what conditions Emily would be now, after all this time with in the hands of that evil man; and that she might was not going to see him anymore, and that she was not seeing him there, even he knew it was her choice he not to enter there, but he had to be there for her, he was think. Well, his brain, thinking and picturing every single detail, was about to blow now, and that way, without thinking, he made his way running fast to inside the building, he had only one think in mind: find Emily, and try to save her. If he could not, he would die with her.

* * *

**Will they survive? Or Reid and Emily will die to meet Maeve and Mick and Alyssa in heaven? What do you all want? Let me know and I do!**

**Thank you for reading!**

**Please: R&R**


	25. Chapter 25

**I own nothing**

* * *

The team was trying to convince Tucker to let Emily go while he was holding a gun pointed to her head. She was almost unconscious, as Tucker was holding her with his arm around her neck. Hotch, Morgan and Rossi were pointing their guns at Tucker, JJ had gone out of the place because she was crying seeing Emily in that situation: pregnant, almost naked, blood everywhere, and nobody knew if the baby had survived to all this. Hotch was trying to talk Tucker down but every little thing Hotch was saying only served to got him even more angry and violent.

Outside the place:

It was half an hour the team had raided the place, but to Reid it seemed days. He was really impatient now and nervous and his brain genius and his eidetic memory were picturing every single detail of his wedding with Emily and all the moments of their honeymoon, and the moment they finally had made love for the first time, how special and unique it was even though they were on the floor surrounded by duvets, because the most important thing they had was the love they had for each other, and by that love they had conceived a miracle that they had the opportunity to see growing inside Emily's belly through all the ultrasound sessions. The baby boy they would name Steve; and he was remembering how happy Emily was now, finally, after so much suffering losing her entire family and knowing that maybe it was about to happen again, and that he himself had to watch what he thought it was the love of his life to die tragically in Maeve. He was also thinking in what conditions Emily would be now, after all this time with in the hands of that evil man; and that she might not be able to see him anymore, and that she was not seeing him there, even if he knew it that it was her choice for him not to enter there, he had to be there for her, he was thinking this. Well, his brain, thinking and picturing every single detail, was about to blow now, and that way, without thinking, he made his way running fast to inside the building, he had only one thing in mind: find Emily inside that building and try to save her, because if he could not, he would rather die with her.

Reid was walking so fast that he was almost going over the other police teams that were assembled on site. That's when he approached the room where they were, he passed by JJ who was outside the door, she only said:

"Reid?" She was worried for him. He could not get in there and see Emily like that.

But even before she called him by name, he had entered the room, he passed by Hotch, Rossi and Morgan, causing a huge concern to everyone by his actions. Emily also could see that he was there because Reid approached a lot of them, leaving the other profilers back and letting Tucker out of the firing line for them. Reid then put his gun on the ground, and took off his bulletproof vest. Before he could even say anything, Tucker said:

"Yes! The party can start now! Look who came for the show! Welcome weird one…" He said laughing sarcastically.

Emily started hyperventilating, so worried about Reid and what might happen to him. But she said nothing. She knew that anything she said could anticipate the tragedy. Reid was trying to not to look at Emily because it would break his heart so bad and he was afraid that he could not help but hug her. Then, he said:

"Tucker you do not want to do this. I know you felt love for Emily or you would not have been drawn to her immediately… You say it is hate you feel for her now but love and hate is so close together as you know, the total flip side of each other. You do not want to harm Emily and this baby deep down. Think about how your mother loved you and would do anything to protect you… this is the same love Emily feels. I know there is good inside of you, I know the job and the evils you saw change your heart to be hardened, bitter and make you do evil things even though you are not evil. Didn't you want to be a policeman to protect people and give justice to those who could not… You can get help please do not harm Emily and the baby. I know you want help and stop doing these horrible things you have been doing for long time now…Terrible things happen to good people that change them forever. I know this is what happened to you Tucker….Let the good inside of you I know is still inside and exist come out now, please do not harm her and the baby… it's all in your hands… you have all the control here… (Reid raised both hands up)… They cannot shoot you without hitting me first…It's all your choice… our lives is now in your hands… But I know you do not want to do that!"

Tucker angrily pointed the gun to Reid now, while he was holding Emily by her neck, with his arm, yelling:

"You don't know anything!"

"Yes. I do! I do because I know that when your dad invaded your home… the home you shared with your mommy, and kill her so much beating her… in front of you and your siblings… I know that you wanted someone to stop him too… As I am trying to stop you now… Just think, Tucker… if someone had stopped your father from doing that…How many lives it would be spared… It is in your hands…I'm begging you… It's your choice to do the right thing… but I'm begging you…Let her go…."

"You don't know anything about me!"

"You might be right… but I know one day you were an innocent child who had a dream to be a policeman to save people… but unfortunately you had to meet the dark side of the life in a age very young and something changed but just remember you Mom saying how proud she would be about you… you have a chance now of making her feel so proud of you by letting Emily go… Your Mom is in heaven now and as a spirit of light she is here now...she is seeing you..."

"No, she is not!"

"Yes, she is, Tucker! She is here right now… so just make her proud of you...let Emily go…Do the right thing for her!"

In a split second, Tucker put the gun under his chin pointed up and shot himself, dying instantly. While someone of the team was trying to free Emily from the chains, Reid took off his own shirt to put on her for her to wear. She fall down on the floor, and Reid took her, holding her saying:

"Emily… everything will be fine…"

She could not even speak. All the other profilers were speechless seeing that scene. Hotch wanted to rebuke Reid for putting himself in such risky situation, but he could not. Reid was the hero now. He had to be recognized as one.

* * *

Later, at the hospital:

Everyone was there to wait for news about Emily's health. Reid was with her all the time. The doctor had stabilized all her wounds for over her body and they had done blood tests too. They just had to check on the baby now. Reid, Emily and the doctor were at the ultrasound room:

"Here is the situation: Through this machine, we will check if the baby's heart is beating, if it is not, unfortunately we will have to make a surgery to remove the dead fetus…"

Spencer and Emily looked at each other.

"I'm so sorry, but up to all his wounds, Emily, I have to warn you before the exam... You are entering the seventh month, and if the baby has not withstood all these wounds, we have to remove it immediately…."

"Okay…" Emily whispered. Reid swallowed hard, holding her hand all the time.

Emily was lying on the table next to the ultrasound machine, Spencer was standing near her, holding her hand, and the doctor was sitting next to the machine. He lifted Emily's shirt, he spread some gel on her belly and pressed the device, looking for the baby's vital warning signs, especially the heart. Speaking of hearts, Both Emily and Spencer had their hearts in their mouth now.

They were looking at the display of the machine, but they were so out of their minds that they could not understand. The doctor smiled. That was a sign to them, even before the doctor says something Emily and Spencer smiled at each other. The doctor finally said:

"Yeah! This baby boy is really brave! His little heart is in perfect condition! Congratulations!"

* * *

Two months later:

Spencer was driving fast to the hospital, while Emily was in pain already. She was taken to the operation room and he went with her all the time. He had to see this! He had to see his baby boy born. Less than an hour later, Emily was holding her baby boy in her arms and both Emily and Spencer were very happy and thrilled.

"I love you…"

"I love you…"

* * *

Sometimes in life, God takes away something important to us, but not to punish us, is just to show that each human being is unique, each person is unique, and our time with that particular person just ended. Emily had chosen a very tortuous path to face her losses. Reid had chosen to devote himself even more work, and that was when they were totally closed in their own separate world, it was when they were able to find each other, to recognize, and actually see each other, they had lived on the job for more than seven years, but they never had really seen each other indeed. There are mishaps in life that or brings you to life or to death, and both Spencer and Emily had chosen now the first option, creating a perfect and happy family.

* * *

**I'm sorry for the abrupt ending. I want to thank to everyone that commented and read this story. If you have something else to say, just PM me, okay. See you!**


End file.
